Chapter 7 Flashcards
Why do we not say “I understand”?
The fact is that we cannot fully understand what the client is experiencing or feeling.
What are the twelve road blocks to communication?
- Ordering, directing, commanding
- Warning, admonishing, threatening
- Exhorting, moralizing, preaching
- Advising, giving solutions, or suggestions
- Lecturing, teaching, giving logical arguments
- Judging, criticizing, disagreeing, blaming
- Praising, agreeing
- Name-calling, ridiculing, shaming
- Interpreting, analyzing, diagnosing
- Reassuring, sympathizing, consoling, supporting
- Probing, questioning, interrogating
- Withdrawing, distracting, humouring, diverting
What are some ways to respond to feelings?
That must have made you feel…
You must feel…..
It sounds like you felt…
It sounds like your really feeling…
What are some ways to respond to content?
You're really concerned about.... So what happened was.... So it's important to you that... So you decided to... You're hoping that.... It sounds like they....
What are some ways to start a close question?
What is your....? Where did you...? Who is....? When were you...? Where do you...?
What are some ways to start an open question?
Can you describe...? Can you tell me a little bit about...? Could you talk about...? Could you say something about...? Could you clarify that a little bit more for me?
What are some ways to start an “I-message”?
I feel... I'm wondering if.... I'm not clear about.... I'm having a problem with... I'm uncomfortable that....
What are some ways to start a firmer “I-message”?
I need you to…
I wonder if you could help us by….. Would you please….
Could you….
We need your help to….
What are some ways to show appreciation for what has been said?
Thank you for bringing this up. It was good for you to tell me about this. I appreciate your thoughts about this. Thanks for telling me. It's helpful for me to know this.
What are some questions for disarming anger?
How did I offend you? What did I do? When did I do this? How did I do this? What else about me upsets you? What might I do to clear this up? Can you tell me more about what happened?
What are some ways to agree when practicing disarming?
I’m sure I could do better at times.
We probably could do things a bit differently.
It is very possible that we overlooked this.
I certainly can be forgetful at times.
What is a good response when you cannot change?
I understand your point. We are going to have to continue this way for now, but it was helpful to heart your concerns.
What is a good response when you find you can compromise?
I think there are some ways we can solve this problem.
What are some ways to start collaboration?
Perhaps we can…
Let’s look at this together….
Why don’t we….
You and I together….
What are some ways to involve the client in collaboration?
- Start with an “I-message.”
I guess my concerns are….
I’m wondering if… - Finish with a question or comment that involves collaboration.
What do you think?
I’m wondering what you think.
Maybe you see it differently.
How do you see it?
But it’s important to me to know how you see it.
