Ch.12:forming relationships in young and middle adulthood Flashcards
stages of adult friendships
- acquantanceship
- buildup
- continuation
- deterioration
- end
the 3 broad themes that underlie adult friendships
- emotional: self-disclosure, expressions of intimacy, appreciation, affection, and support
- communal nature: participate in or support activities of mutual interest
- compatibility: keep us entertained and are sources of fun
the effect of of social networking sites on frienships
- people who use the internet a lot have more friends on and offline
- trust is important in online friendships
- online is easier than person to person for shy people
what do friendships with our siblings look like in adulthood
-women put more value on them
-adult siblings say that distance doesnt matter
-
adult women’s friendships
- more intimate
- based on shared feelings and confidences
- more vulnerable to demanding friends
adult mens friendships
less intimate and based more on shared activities
cross sex friendships in adulthood
- men with them have lower levels of dating anxiety and have a higher capacity for intimacy
- there may be misperceptions from a third party
- men sometimes overperceive intrest from woman friend, and women underpercieve it
three basic components to love, according to sternberg
- passion: physiological desire
- intimacy: feeling that you can share everything with the other person
- commitment: staying with them through good and bad
what do the three components of love look like in a relationship
-passion is really high at the begining, but it decreases, and as it does intimacy must increase or the relationship will end. commitment is something that takes time and is developed as people work at the relationship
assortative mating
thisis the theory of mating that says that people find another who is similar to themselves, ways that they can be similar include:
- religious beliefs
- physical traits
- age
- socionomic status
- intelligence
- political ideology
homogamy
the similarity in values and interests
important things to know about online dating
- easier for shy people to meet, but outgoing people use it too
- attractiveness is the first thing people look at
- self-described attributes are important
- not everyone is honest
things that influence what a woman finds attravtive
- want someone manly looking for short-term
- want someone feminine looking for long-term
things that men value in women in traditional cultures
- chastity
- desire for home and kids
- good cook and housekeeper
things that women value in men in traditional cultures
- ambition and industry
- good finances
- good status amoung others
differences and similarities b\w men and women, about what they find important in a partner
- men want someone hot
- women want good providers
- both want: love, mutual attraction, dependability, emotional stability, kindness, understanding
factors of cultures that have more secure romantic relationships
- good health care, education and resources
- can choose who you want to be with
forces that affect relationships: biological
- the neurochemicals related to the amphetamines come into play as we fall in love
- high levels of activity in dopamine system when we are falling in love
- morphine-like substances in the long term-commitment phase
- oxytocin is related to attachment and womens orgasms
forces that affect relationships: psychological
relationships that we experience as a kid affect how a person acts in relationships as an adult
forces that affect relationships: sociocultural
society shapes what we want in a mate
forces that affect relationships: life-cycle
what you are looking for also depends on where you are at in life
abusive relationship
when one partner in a relationship becomes violent or aggressive to the other (there is verbal, physical, and severe physical abuse)
battered woman syndrome
when a woman believes that she cant leave her abusive relationship
causes of verbal abuse
- need to control
- missuse of power
- jealousy
- marital discord
causes of physical abuse
- accepting violence as a means of control
- agressive models
- abuse as a child
- agressive person
- alcohol abuse
causes of severe physical abuse
- personality dissorders
- mood swings
- poor self-esteem
abusive relationships are more likely when people:
- hold traditional gender beliefs
- lack communications
- lack anger manaagement
factors of cultures that have more abuse
- portray females as passive, supporters of men
- emphasize female purity, male status, and family honor
- emphasize loyalty, and sacrifice for family
reasons for being single later in life:
- focus on career
- focus on taking care of older family members
- focus on other commitments
- prefer the single life
- havent met the right person