Ch 10 attraction and intimacy: liking and loving others Flashcards
The importance of intimate relationships (hint 6 ideas)
1) Positive satisfying relationships equals good health outcome
2) Social support
3) Capitalization - When something good happens we take greater joy in this positive outcome if we can share it with close others
4) Michelangelo effect - We actually become more like our partner’s ideas views of ourselves
5) Goal pursuit - Close romantic relationships can allow us to pursue our goals more effectively
6) Self-expansion - By having a close partnership we can come to grow as people learn new things about the world and new hobbies based on our friend
What factors influence our choice of close friends and partners? (hint 3)
1) Proximity
2) Physical attractiveness
3) Perceived similarity
Physical Attractiveness benefits
Compared to people who are less attractive
-Physically attractive people are more likely to:
Mary, re-marry, Does not mean Marital Satisfaction
Achieve good grades, PrestigiousOccupations
AttainPrestigious occupations
Lighter sentences for crimes
Why might these be true (Physical Attractiveness benefits) - beauty bias (hint 3 answers)
1) Halo Effect - People who are physically attractive are seen as more moral kinder nicer smarter
2) History of positive social interactions - It could be that people are nicer to people who are physically attractive and in turn develop social skills
3) or both - We have positive expectations of people who are attractive and pretend to be more biased and make the assumption that they are more positive and less attractive individuals or Been physically attractive associated with actual changes because the world kinder more inviting place when you’re physically attractive
What influences physical attractiveness (hint 4 answers)
1) Baby Facedness
2) Facial Symmetry
3) Culture
4) clear complexion, fair skin
Baby Facedness
- It has been shown, especially for females, Beautiful faces have proportions similar to children who were about six or seven
- Having large eyes, small nose, Filled Lips, prominent jaw structure, Cheekbones, Symbolizes sexual maturity has seen to be very attractive across cultures
- It is unclear why there is a preference for a Babyface feature
- It might be due to the evolutionary perspective for men, one thing that men are looking for is youth because youth signifies fertility
- among men, There is less evidence of that baby face the facts, Large eyes are seen as attractive and men, however, a large chin, Prominent cheekbones, Jawline seen as attractive in men, As well as height
Facial symmetry
Seeing a physically attractive and evolutionary perspective is linked to fertility because asymmetrical faces and bodies can be seen as toxins during fetal development
Clear complexion
Seen as an attractive and evolutionary perspective would state clear skin signifies health which in turn signifies fertility
Different Cultures
-There is little variation in terms of what is viewed as attractive in Independent cultures - People more physically attractive are seems to be very strong
Interdependent cultures - People more physically attractive are seen as being modest and honest
Body Weight Preferences across 26 countries by Swami 2010
- People were shown This image and ask to pick Which body type was the most attractive and then filled out a number of questionnaires
- At the gender and cultural levels the average answer was is 3-4
- This shows a lot of cultural similarities
- However, those who were older in age would pic larger numbers
- those who were heavier themselves would pick heavier figures
- body dissatisfaction - dissatisfied with their own body, would choose lower numbers - skinner figures
- those exposed to western media picked lower numbers
Romantic Red Effect by Elliot and Niesta, 2009 factors outside of our awareness for attractiveness
- Color can influence the way we think the way we feel and the way we behave
- The colour redGives the idea of passion lust and love
- non-human primates, females have red genitals
- HumanFemales become red in the face when they’re flirting or sexually excited, blush when they become closer to the ovulating phase of their cycle
Romantic Red Effect by Elliot and Niesta came up with a hypothesis and did many studies
hypothesis: The colour red will lead men to view women as more attractive and sexually desirable
study 1: 27 male university students, viewed a white background photo of a woman for five seconds or viewed a red background of the same women and rated the woman Attractiveness
Found:
-More attractive seen against a red background than a white background
follow up studies: Found:
-When red is contrasted with other colors, Such as grey and green
-The dependent variable is sexual attractiveness/desire for sexual activity
-They were askedHow much money they would spend on a date
-They found that they would spend a greater amount of money on the woman that wore red
There are limits to Red Effect
the red effect does not show when
- the dependent measures are likability, intelligence, or kindness
- therefore, red is associated with sexual attractiveness and physical attractiveness but not other positive features
- why is this, red is seen as a mediator to sexual receptivity
- Woman who wear red versus other colors are perceived to be more open to sexual activity and the intern is associated with a greater perception of physical attractiveness and sexual attractiveness
Pazada 2014 Test the limits of Red Effect
hypothesis: That woman in a dating relationship engage in more mate-guarding strategies in response to women wearing red
-They tested the idea that at some level woman known that woman wearing red are perceived as more attractive than a woman wearing other colours so they would feel more threatening if their partner was talking to someone wearing red purses another color
tested the idea -Woman in a dating relationship were showing a photo of a woman wearing red or green. The woman’s Face was blurred but could tell what colour she wore. They were asked to report on her perceived sexual receptivity (sex). Then asked me guarded questions how likely would you let your boyfriend spend more time alone with this person. The woman would say no
Found: Woman rated those in red as hired in perceived sexual perceptivity and we’re likely to say that they would mate-guard
Romantic Red Effect for males but different mechanism
-when Woman view Men
Found:
-red boosts woman rating on men’s attrativness
-however, the mediator was not perceived sexual receptivity it was status
-Wearing red signals higher status then equals Greater Perception of physical attractiveness
-Evolutionary perspective - kings wear red robes
Similarity and evidence
Do opposites attract or do birds of a feather flock together
-similarity increases attraction - similar in personality, demographics, and attractiveness
Tidwell 2013 found that Similarity and evidence
Perception of similarity may be more important than actual similarities
Complementarity In resources - Social marketplace - Traditional social commodity Theory
-for women, The highest valued When woman viewing men, is having high amounts of wealth and status
-for men, the highest valued when men viewing women, is having/ being high in Physical attractiveness
-Evolutionary perspective - Men want mates that are fertile - youth in a woman. Women the importance is if the child will survive therefore, wealth and status is key, so she is able to pass on her genes successfully
Men Value attractiveness over status Whereas the woman value status over attractiveness
Eastwick 2014 found with attractivness
Found that despite their stated preferences man and woman both choose to date people based on attractiveness
- However, this is true in the short-term and long-term
- In the long term we learned more about people and become attractive things other than their own physical attractiveness we come to like the people who share our hobbies
- However physical attractiveness is what drives people
- For menThey are attractive woman leave I am physically attractive and their behaviour seems is a chance that this trip
- For a woman they highly valued attractive men who are high in wealth and status but what drives their behaviours is physical attractiveness over status
traditional social commodity theory states
Both woman and men seem to choose their mates at least initially based on physical attractiveness
Attachment theory
Attachment is essentially an organized system that we’ve developed to maintain security
- Parents become attached to their babies and babies become attached to their parent
- Harlow:Study attachment in primates
- Bowlby: First important elation shit is with our mother - primary caregiver
- Ainsworth: Ways to measure attachment strange situation
Ainsworth - Strange situation
- Develop the way to classify infants into different attachment styles by Developing the strange situation
- Toddlers Visited the playroom With their primary caregiver
- At first the primaryAnd the child’s play together
- Been a stranger enters the room assesses how infant interacts to the stranger = Social referencing, The incident would look at them momTo know if this person is okay
- Then mom would leave then measure the infant’s reaction to this stressful situation
- The mountain comes back, The stranger leave, And the researcher looks how the mom consoles with the child
- Three outcomesOccurred That developed the Three main attachment type
three main attachment types
1) secure
2) anxious/ambivalent - cling to the mom
3) anxious/avoidant - they ignore the mom
What causes attachment style?
Secure infants - Responsiveness of parenthood behaviour and consistent responsive to their baby and baby learn to rely on others for the loving support
Anxious infants - Inconsistent caregiving and less attention to babies needs, Children learn That sometimes it rely on others But it can’t always Count on other’s
Avoidant infants - disinterested parents Who neglect their babies needs and less responsive
Hazon and Shaver 1987 - attachment processes in adult romantic relationships
Attachment style In romantic relationships
- Secure base
- Safehaven
- Proximity maintenance
- Separation distress
Fraley and Walter 1998, wanted to measure attachment in romantic relationships using two dimensions
1)Anxiety - The extent to which a person worries about being abandoned/Rejected by others
2)Avoidance - the extent to which A person feel uncomfortable with closeness And emotional intimacy in a relationship
Low in both avoidance anxiety = Can you describe is being secure. These people are optimistic about their relationships, Trust one another, And feel that they can handle threats in their relationship
CONTRAST
High Anxiety = Shows over-dependence on their partner to comfort and support - Becoming quite needy
-When stressed they engage in hyper activating Strategies: The behaviour of these individuals may bring a rejection that they fear and they become insistent upon closeness controlling and clingy
High Avoidance = These individuals strive to maintain distance, Control, Self-reliance and relationships
-Not comfortable trusting or Relying on others
-Avoid negative emotional states in romantic relationships, Ignore conflict
-When stressed they engaged in Deactivating strategies: They avoid their partners, Want to be left alone, Therefore they lower The intimacy between the relationship
-Avoid problems, Leave unresolved conflict, Strike to maintain distance from their partner especially when they’re stressed
-both anxiety and avoidance have been shown to be predictors of how we think, behave, feel in a romantic relationship
The attachment has been shown to effect Relationship Quality - study by Tidwell, reis, shaver 1996
-asked people to keep diaries about their romantic relationships
found:
high anxious people - variable turbulent relationships they overreact to conflict
high avoidance people - lower intimacy not as inverted in their relationships but int the other hand not much enjoyment less in the relationships
Anxiety and Self-Fulfilling prophecy
attachment anxiety can become a type of self-fulfilling prophecy they won’t worry about rejection from their partner, however, this leads to sometimes engage in behaviour that ultimately might bring about rejection/abandonment and these two characters are high in rejection sensitivity and also being excessive in reassurance seeking
How stable are attachment syles
Attachment orientation represents the general cognitive frame work of people’s ideas of their own self-worth and the extent to which they believe that others aren’t trustworthy and reliable
- Attachments else can change over time
- About 30%Of people change
- Gender differences female scoring higher attachment anxiety than males and males score higher on attachment avoidance Than females
Commitment - Carol Rusbult
- Commitment would do a better job at predicting who would stay in a relationship and who would decide to leave
- Commitment is an internal pledge it is a cognitive decision. It is the tendency to maintain a relationship and feel psychologically attached to it
- Love and satisfaction can vary over time we’re his commitment tends to be more stable and able to protect relationship longevity
Investment Model by Carol Rusbult
Satisfaction is one component of commitment, it is determined by:
Rewards Costs And comparison levels. Satisfaction is an accumulation of these
Commitment is determined by:
Satisfaction
Alternatives - comparing yourself to be single or not
Investments - things we put into a relationship
-the determinants to stay or leave in a relationship is determined by the commitment
THIS model is not only about romantic relationships
