Behaving transactionally Flashcards
Kirkland overview?
“When it comes to applying personality and behaving transactionally – my motto is: if I’m doing it well – it will be hard to
tell. What I mean is that I want to move along the cycle in moods and attitudes and with the narratives recognizing what
characteristics of personality are needed. To do that I have to be keenly aware of how my personality can get in the way.” –
Kirkland Tibbels
Now that you understand personality in transaction, how it works, and how it can be used to your advantage, let’s discuss
transactional behavior and behaving transactionally. Knowing about Transactional Personalities can help us better recognize,
organize, and interact with people efficiently and effectively.
Name the cycle (4 steps)
Inventor, subjectivism, possibilities
Performer, constructionism, intent to act
Producer, objectivism, activity
Judge, Skeptism, facts/judgements
Why behave transactionally?
Recognizing personality traits, both our own and those of others gives us an advantage when organizing groups and teams to achieve our most important life goals. It is simply more satisfying and enjoyable to work in a way that suits our personality, especially when we seek to collaborate with others.
However, understanding personality characteristics are just the beginning. Combining this knowledge with the transactional principles you have learned requires dedication and lots of practice. Most people tend to react emotionally, which can derail our goals. When we react emotionally, we often lose sight of our aims. Therefore, articulating our aims is the first step in behaving transactionally.
Allowing our biology to determine our behavior is easy, but ensuring our aims guide our actions in the world is more difficult. Being informed by our aims is the first step towards becoming transactionally competent and learning how to behave transactionally.
The second step is committing to our Transactional Competence, i.e., your fitness to transact in successful and efficient exchanges.
Transactional Competence is vital to learning how to transact with others powerfully and avoiding naive behavior. In situations where the outcome is critical to reaching our aims, we cannot afford to be indifferent or naive. We must always check ourselves against our
personality, aims, and ethics to transact with our loftiest goals in mind.
Of course, we don’t mean you should adhere religiously to these principles in every situation. However, in those critical transactions that impact your aims, you cannot afford to be indifferent or naive. Success is rarely attained through good luck and happenstance.
Long-term satisfaction in life, particularly regarding money and career, requires the deliberate practice of Transactional Competence.
It requires a commitment to behaving transactionally, especially when it may be the last thing you want to do.
What might behaving transactionally include?
To behave transactionally, we must rigorously and deliberately practice transactional principles in our interactions with others.
This means taking the time to carefully assess each situation and make accurate decisions that align with our aims in our Conditions of Life. Rather than relying on mere information, we base our actions on factual conclusions and accurate thinking.
When it comes to our most significant transactions, we seek the guidance of experts. We also keep our resources and goals in mind rather than being
driven by immediate wants or emotional impulses. By doing so, we can develop a focused and strategic approach to our dealings with others.
Behaving Transactionally may include:
Articulate aims in our Conditions of Life
Deliberately adhere to practicing transactional exchanges
Make invitations and gain agreement before forcing offers, opinions, and assertions onto others
Making offers to support acceptance and accept declines powerfully when not moving forward is appropriate
Don’t skip moves and phases of the transaction cycle
Offer your own knowhow to ensure mutual and reciprocal satisfaction
Make commitments that carry consequences and considerations
Hold ethics firmly and reject unethical behavior from others
Listen more than talk
Say something meaningful and relevant when talking
Move with an ambitious and deliberate commitment to accept and confront the world around us
Commit to applying transactional competence, especially when those around us cannot or will not
Recognize your own personality for its assets and liabilities and utilize knowledge of personality to engage others effectively
Ensure personality is never a hindrance, rather than complain or justify a lack of ambition and fitness in confronting personality.
“My goal in dealing with others around “personality” and “behaving transactionally” is to make transactions as simple and seamless as possible. The only way I know how to do that is to deliberately apply the principles of transactional competence and do so by behaving transactionally.” – Kirkland
Why can’t we use personality as an excuse for not applying transactional competence
We cannot expect others to tolerate our misbehavior just because they recognize our personality.
Ignoring someone’s personality can hinder us from achieving our goals.
Behaving transactionally requires us to work with others and acknowledge the predictability of transactional personalities.
It is crucial to know and embody our aims in our Conditions of Life as our happiness and success depend on it.
Behaving transactionally means interacting with others in uncommon ways instead of acting self-acting or inter-actionally.
If we want to achieve significant aims in life, we cannot justify our behavior with our personality to avoid accountability.
These behaviors are not meant as an exhaustive list.
There are many nuances to deliberately practice.
Describe an invitational approach
“I try to move and behave in ways that are appropriate to the moods and narratives of the cycle – recognizing exactly where I am (or they are) in a transaction at all times. I allow the transaction cycle to inform the principle characteristics needed as “we” move “together” through it.”
“Behaving transactionally also doesn’t stick out as unusual or odd, but rather, produces seamless exchanges from one move and phase to the other. Again – if I’m doing it well, it will be hard to tell that we’re moving at all – it will just be a seamless transition from one move to the next – because that is exactly how it works.” —Kirkland Tibbels
