Attraction and Relationships Flashcards
what causes attraction?
- propinquity effect
- similarity
- reciprocal liking
- physical attractiveness
propinquity effect
- the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends
- works because of familiarity, or mere exposure effect
- attraction + propinquity rely on actual physical distance + functional distance
mere exposure effect
the more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more apt we are to like it
functional distance
- aspect of architectural design
- make it likely some people will come into contact with each other more often than others
similarity
- more drawn to people that look like us than those who are opposites (complimentary)
- strong predictor of attraction in friendship + romance
similarity is a strong of attraction in friendship + romance, especially __________
- in attitudes and values
- in individualistic cultures
importance of similarity for attraction
- we expect those similar to us to like us
- those similar to us provide social validation of our beliefs
- we expect it would be enjoyable to spend time with like-minded people
can attraction lead to a sense of similarity?
- YES
- studied married couples showed they overestimated their levels of similarity
- perceived similarity is a good predictor for long, committed relationships
reciprocal liking
- liking someone who likes us in return
- one of prime determinants of interpersonal attraction
- will only have an effect if you like yourself before
physical attractiveness
- strongly influences liking
- we may not rate attractiveness as #1 criterion, but B indicates it is
- preference for:
1. large eyes
2. prominent cheekbones
3. big smile
cultural standards of physical attractiveness
- considerable agreement across cultures on what is a physically attractive face
- perception of symmetry = correlated with attractiveness
- may have developed through evolution (signs of a potentially healthy offspring)
assumptions about attractive people: halo effect
- assumed that attractive people have desirable qualities
- often get preferential treatment
- “what is beautiful is good” stereotype
- occurs cross-culturally
- seems to be limited to judgments of social competency
assumptions about unattractive people: horn effect
perceiving 1 unattractive quality in a person can lead us to believe that they possess undesirable characteristics
misattribution of arousal
- people may mistakenly infer the cause of their physiological arousal is attraction
- sweating, trembling, elevated heart rate, anticipation
friends + the digital world
- social media plays major roles in shaping friendship (introverted vs extroverted)
- online/offline relationships can be beneficial
- people prefer real world relationships
romance + the digital world
- people often disclose personal information more quickly online rather than face to face
- success rate of online dates = traditional methods
parasocial interaction theory
- parasocial relationships through parasocial interactions = illusionary relationships with characters or people in media
- influential in middle childhood and adolescence (important for attachment dev and identity formation)
- can be complementary with real-life relationships
- increase through increase of social media use
extreme parasociality
- dangerous for self-esteem + well-being
- since interactions are limited or not real
Sternberg’s Theory of Love components
- intimacy
- commitment
- passion
gender + love
- men fall in love more quickly than women
- more likely to endorse “love lasts forever”
- men report experiencing love at first sight more often
culture + love
- love is universal
- cultural differences to love
- collectivist cultures value more commitment and intimacy over passion (compared to individualistic cultures)
evolution + love
- human B has evolved in specific ways to maximize reproductive success
- reproductive costs for women
- women have different strategies to find a mate than men
Arthur Aaron’s self-expansion theory
- humans have tendency to expand their social circles to maximize resources
- supports idea that we are internally driven to seek + affirmation
- goal: to enhance our own sense of selves through creation + maintenance of close relationships
- over time, partners become more and more 1 self, as resources, experiences, identities = shared
attachment theory
suggest B in adult relationships are based on experiences as infants with parents/caregivers
attachment styles
expectations people dev about relationships based on relationship they had with primary caregiver
adult attachment styles
- secure
- anxious-preoccupied
- dismissive-avoidant
- fearful-avoidant
secure attachment
- typically comfortable in relationships
- find no issue with commitment and trust with their partners
anxious-preoccupied attachment
- exhibit some forms of separation anxiety
- can exhibit low self-esteem
- can become overdependent on their partners or push them away
- due to their own insecuritie
dismissive-avoidant
- can be guarded when it comes to intimacy
- exhibit lack of trust towards potential partners
- may show no interest in forming close relationships
fearful-avoidant
- typically demonstrate inconsistent and fluctuating feelings about intimacy
- might desire close relationships but become avoidant with partner out of fear
attachment styles and intimate relationships
- affect relationship satisfaction, commitment, trust
- coping with relationship conflict also differs according to attachment style
- people have different styles in different relationships
- general attachment = different from specific attachment
aligning of attachment
- over time, attachments tend to align
- if generally secure, specific relationship tend to become secure
social exchange theory
how people feel about their relationships depends on:
1. perception of rewards/costs
2. the kind of relationship they deserve
3. chances of having a better relationship with someone else
reward/cost ratio
notion there is a balance between
1. rewards that come from relations
2. person cost of maintaining the relationhip
comparison levels
people’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they deserve in a relationship
comparison levell for alternatives
people’s expectation about the level of rewards/costs they’d receive in an alternative relationship
Rusbult’s investment model
theory that people’s commitment to a relationship depends on:
1. their satisfaction
2. level of investment
3. quality of alternatives
equity theory
- people = happiest in relationships where rewards, costs, contributions are roughly equal
- refer to powerpoint, slide 46
- equity concerns vary on:
1. exchange relationships
2. communal relationships
exchange relationships
casual relationships governed by need for a comparable ratio of reward-cost
communal relationships
- long-term, close relationship
- primary concern is being responsive
relationship identity
people who feel a relationship = important part of their identity will let an attractive alternative partner know that they are taken
effects of being in a committed relationship on attractiveness ratings
- those in committed relationship rate an attractive individual as less attractive than less-committed individuals
- those more committed to their partners = more forgiving of their mistakes and shortcomings
positive illusions
- idealizations of our romantic relationships and partners in order to maintain the relationship
- the more we idealize our partner, the greater our satisfaction with the relationship
- makes it more likely it will endure
self-expansion model
- proposes that relationships provide an avenue for people to grow and fulfill their potential
- new relationships are exciting at firs, but eventually boredom can set in
- thus, couples ought to engage in activities that revive feelings of self-expansion
why relationships end
- attractive alternatives
- boredom
- dissimilarity
- low rewards, high costs, inequity
strategies to end a relationship
- withdrawal and avoidance
- positive tone
- manipulative strategies
- open confrontation
predicting distress during a breakup
- role person plays in the decision to terminate the relationship predicts distress degree
- those who initiate the breakup suffer less, but often report guilt and unhappiness
- those dumped are most unhappy and report high levels of loneliness and depression
- monitoring online activity increases distress level
those who handle a breakup best ________
able to focus on what they have learned + how they have grown
