Adulthood Flashcards
non-directed masturbation (asexual)
- masturbation without sexual fantasies)
- More like a tension release, not sexual in nature`
advantage of masturbation
Releases endorphins, reduces stress, helps you sleep, no risks of STIs or pregnancy, etc.
how many people have intercourse by 24
85% - most in romantic relationships
In contrast to previous generations where intercourse was done almost exclusively in marriage
how often is hooking up = sex
34%
issues with hookups
- Some people think/hope it will lead to romantic relationship (unmet expectations)
- 65% Women, 45% Men
- Let down by expectations
- 78% coerced sex happens during hookups
- Orgasm gap large esp. during hookups
- Often occur with alcohol use
- 30% said they wouldn’t have done it if alcohol had not been a factor
Tasks of Adulthood
- Continued exploration of sexual identity
- Identify sexual likes and dislikes
- Develop effective communication
- Not many people have good role models
- Challenging task!
- Being more responsible about sex
- Contraception, regular testing, have safer sex than adolescence
- Intimacy
- Deeper connections, longer-term relationships
serial monogamy
two or more long-term relationships before marriage
Living apart together (LAT)
living in different residence than partner
why LAT
- “too early”
- 1/3 prefers to live alone (prioritize kids)
- felt constrained by lack of income, work, living arrangements.
Long-Distance Relationships
- No differences in relationship or sexual satisfaction
- No differences in rates of infidelity
- Incl. extradyadic sexual activity
what predicts success in LTR
trust, faith, expect more support, optimistic of future, behaviour maintaining relationship, positive or idealized notion of their partner
WHY do ppl in LDR Report similar satisfaction and stability, as well as sexual satisfaction as individuals in close geographic relationships
ppl in LDR engage in more nonsexual and sexual behaviours aimed at maintaining their relationship than close ppl
3 types of celibates:
- virgins
- singles
- partnered (in sexless relationships)
Singleism
stigmatizing and stereotyping of people who are not in a romantic relationship
Committed relationship ideology
- View that people with a partner are better than those without a partner
- Idea that committed relationships = most important relationship type compared to others (friendships, etc.)
The “Wedding Ring Effect”
When someone is taken = they seem more attractive
- Particularly women who believed men in photos in relationships rated as more attractive than if single EXCEPT with kids
Fear of being single is a predictor of:
- Settling for less in existing relationships
- This fear also predicts romantic interest in lower quality partners
- Less likely to initiate relationship breakup
why do heterosexual men live longer married to women
women = caretakes (no effect for woemn)
% of ppl cohabitate
42%
how many cohabitating marreid within 2 years
66%
common law DIFFERENCES FROM MARRIED COUPLES:
Division of property (family home)
- Typically end after 4 years (14 for marriage)
60% of people who end them do so before 30
44% have kids
Most common among 20-24yrs
% common law in US
6
Women more likely than men to marry WHY
- provides legal protection
- further cements relationship
- political fight for quality and public acknowledgement of same-sex couples
- being able to use the language of marriage
Interpersonal exchange model of sexual satisfaction–More sexual satisfaction if:
- Sexual rewards > sexual cost
- emotional closeness, physical intimacy, fun
- not having much pleasure, feeling pressured, anxiety, issues in sexual communication
- Sexual rewards > sexual costs expected
- Equal reward cost ratios
- If you think partner is getting more rewards than you = bad
- Satisfaction with nonsexual relationship
- General satisfaction with relationship
these 4 components predict satisfaction 3 months later
guess what
married ppl more likely to report they masturbate than single ppl
how to maintain satisfaction when discrepant in sexual desire
sexual communal strength
what is sexual communal strength
- Extent motivated to meet partner’s sexual needs without expecting direct reciprocity
- Tend to engage in sexual activity for positive “approach (goals)” reasons rather than negative “avoidance (goals)” reasons
- Approach (having fun) vs. avoidance (so my partner will stop bothering me)
- DOES NOT MEAN you ignore your own needs! Means to put your partner’s needs first
do Two-career homes differ in sexual satisfaction
no—– No differences in frequency, satisfaction, or desire
- Unsatisfying jobs = more likely to be sexually unsatisfied
- Not number of hours work, but how much you enjoy working! 🙂
Sexual infidelity
physically arousing contact (e.g., kissing, sexual touching, oral sex)
romantic infidelity
close affection or intimate connection (e.g., “falling in love”)
Four categories of infidelity:
- Sexual/explicit behaviours – intercourse, oral sex, touching, kissing
- Technology/online behaviours - sexting, cybersex, browsing dating profiles
- Emotional/affectionate behaviours – sharing secrets, working late, giving/receiving emotional support/dressing to attract
- Solitary behaviours – viewing porn, masturbation, finding a celebrity attractive
most common behaviours in infidelity
Ambiguous behaviours (kissing, touching, watching porn)
Women = emotional affairs
men = sexual
more taboo for women
Why do people cheat?
- stronger sexual interest
- more permissive sexual values
- lower relationship satisfaction
- weaker network ties to partner
- Less mutual friends, connection to family, etc.
- greater sexual opportunities
- Travels a lot, etc.
- BUT → for many people, being faithful in a long-term monogamous relationship takes work
Outcomes to infidelity
- Psychological distress for both partners
- Angry, jealous, sad, disappointed
- Guilt, shame, depressive symptoms
- Strongest predictor of relationship breakup and cause of divorce
- 55% break up immediately
- 30% try to work it out but eventually break up
- 15% stay together
- More likely to stay together if married
Stages following affair:
- Trying to understand what happened
- Making a decision to repair relationship or not
- Rebuilding if you choose to do so
Can take years to go through these stages (especially first stage)
Mate Poaching
“Mate poaching occurs when someone forms a romantic and/or sexual relationship with someone who they know is already in an exclusive relationship.”
Sociosexual orientation in mate poachign
More likely to be unrestricted: more open to uncommitted sex, permissive in attitudes, more likely to pursue personal desires
what are poached relationships like
- Tend to start with lower quality than non-poached
- ~50% report engaging in infidelity
- 3-2 times higher than non-poached
strategies in Monogamy Maintenance
- Proactive avoidance
- Limit face-to-face interactions of attractive others
- Relationship enhancement
- Work on enriching current relationship
- Derogating the alternative (least common)
- Focus on unflattering aspects of alternative partner
Mate retention tactics: (M vs F)
behaviours designed to preserve the relationship
Men: resources display
Women: monopolizing time, punishing threats of infidelity, saying derogatory things about competitor, providing sexual inducements, enhancing their appearance or attractiveness
why practice Consensual Non-monogamy (CNM)
wanting autonomy over their body
fits best with beliefs and values
creating and maintaining community
exploring sexuality and meeting needs
experiencing personal growth
practical reason related to lifestyle
Closed swinging:
separate private exchange
Open swinging:
Open swinging:
Soft swinging:
watching another couple engage in sexual activity sometimes participating in pre-coital activity
Polyamory
Loving more than one person
44% have kids in Canada survey, mainly white, more women than men, higher testosterone levels
- Emphasis on long-term commitment with multiple people
- Intentional family, group relationship, group marriage: 3+ ppl
Open Relationships % been in one?
- 20% of people have been in one during their lifetime
- Younger generations have more interest
% aged 57-85 sexually active?
66%
Climacteric
period lasting about 15-20 years (age 45-60) when a woman’s body makes the transition from being able to reproduce to not (decline in functioning of the ovaries)
Menopause
(40-60yrs) = cessation of menstruation (avg. age 51)
Perimenopause
skipped menstral perios or irregular by more than 7 days
Physical symptoms of menopause
Vasomotor (more black women: hot flashes, night sweat),
psychosomatic (more white women: tense, irritable, depressed)
Poorer working memory (decreased E)
Changes in levels of sex hormones
Decline in vaginal lubrication and elasticity (higher changes of tearing)
Decline in estrogen → osteoporosis, lower acidity of vagina (more prone to infection)
Decline in progesterone and androgens
Treating menopause:
- hormone therapy
- E and P = treats vasomotor
- prevents osteoporosis
- DONT TAKE BIOIDENTICAL therapy products
- medication
- depression meds
- complementary or alternative
- black cohosh
- red clover
- acupuncture
- herbal medicine
- spices
- seeking advice from family or friends
- elders
- physicians
do japanese women seek advice during menopause
no they believe it normal and so w/e
Changes in men with age
- Less testosterone production (andropause) and sperm output
- Erections occur more slowly
- Refractory period lengthens
- Up to 24hrs or more
- Volume of ejaculate decreases
- Prostrate enlargement
- Due to hormonal changes
- Problems in blocking urination, etc.
Two factors are critical for maintaining sexual capacity in old age
- Good physical and mental health
- Regularity of sexual expression (“use it or lose it”)
Study in 45-59
- Men who reported fewer than one orgasm per month = more than TWICE as likely to die
Sexual Rewards for men
- feeling comfortable with their partner
- feeling good about themselves during and after sex
- having fun during sex
sexual rewards for woemn
- treated well by their partner during sex
- feeling comfortable
- having sex in the context of a long term relationship
what predicts high probability of infidelity
higher on narcissism and impulsiveness
6 ways to Maintaining a long term relationship
- good communication and problem-solving
- 5 positive for 1 negative interaction
- realistic expectations
- do not engage in blaming
- common view of relationships
- feelings of equity
Equity Theory
People mentally tabulate their inputs to it and what they get out of it (benefits and rewards) and calculate whether or not they are equitable
- If inequitable = distressed
- Putting too much into relationship → let appearance go, not work as hard to earn money, refuse to have sex or contribute to conversation, engaging in extra-relationship sex
Optimal sexuality: (6)
- great lovers are made—not born
- developing optimal sexuality required jettisoning normative sex scripts
- be less willing to settle
- “great sex” takes a lot of time, devotion, and intentionality
- exploration and familiarity both have advantages
- aging, chronic illness, and disability are not necessarily obstacles to optimal sexuality
