Active Parenthood Exam 1 Flashcards
Developmental Characteristics
- Rapid Cycling through Moods: Unpredictable and Challenging Behavior
- Continuing Identity Exploration: Experimentation with personality, peers and appearance
- Beginning Concern with Others’ Thoughts: General defensiveness due to strong feelings of self consciousness
- Developing Capacity for Critical Analysis: Constant analysis and critique of family members
Today’s Newer Stressors
- To be sexually active at a younger age
- STD’s and STI’s
- Sexual Harassment and Rape issues
- Increased pressure to try drugs and alcohol at younger ages
- Greater risk of being a victim of a violent crime
- Greater amount of single parents and step-families
- Greater pressure towards gang involvement
- More families in which both parents work outside of the home
- Increased exposure to mass media and advertising
- Greater dangers among the internet
The Purpose of Parenting
To PROTECT and PREPARE children and teens to SURVIVE and THRIVE in the kind of society in which they will live.
Qualities of a Democracy
- Courage
- Responsibility
- Cooperation
- Self-Esteem
- Desire to Learn
- Problem solving skills
- Decision making skills
- Technological ability
The Top 4 Qualities to Instill
- Courage
- Responsibility
- Cooperation
- Self-Esteem
Workplace Skills for the 21st Century
Leadership, Negotiation and Teamwork, High Self-Esteem for goal setting and motivation, Creative thinking and problem-solving abilities, Communication skills, Reading, Writing, Math and a general ability to learn
3 Styles of Parenting
Autocratic (dictator, authoritarian, limits without freedom), Permissive (freedom without limits, laissez faire) and Democratic (Authoritative, freedom with expanding limits)
Piaget’s Stages
Sensorimotor
Preoperational
Concrete Operational
Formal Operational
Sensorimotor
- Toddler’s focus on their 5 senses
- Object Permanence: The ability to understand that objects exist even when they can’t be seen.
- Connected with separation anxiety
Preoperational
- Symbolic Representation: The child learns letters and numbers to represent vocabulary
- Largest vocabulary increase occurs from ages 30-36 months of age; 75% of adult vocabulary is obtained by age 5
- Egocentrism: The ability to understand that a child may feel differently than another person.
- Schema: a method of thinking
- Assimilation & Accommodation
Concrete Operational
- The child can understand what they have experienced within their own world.
- Centration: (aka. Conservation) : The ability to understand 3-dimensionality in regards to size and shape
- Reversibility: The ability to understand positive and negative, and the absence of value
Formal Operational
- The ability to think abstractly and hypothesize
Problem Ownership
Who owns the problem?
- Whom is the problem directly affecting?
- Who is raising the issue or making the complaint?
- Whose goals are being blocked?
- Does the problem involve health, safety, family rules, or values? If so then the problem belongs to the parent.
- Is the problem within reasonable limits for your child’s age?
Parent Owned Problem
- Provide discipline
Child Owned Problem
- Provide support
Shared Problem
- Provide discipline and support
Less Structured Discipline Approaches for Parent
- “I” messages; Polite requests
- Firm directions (GET AGREEMENT)
More Structured Discipline Approaches for Parent
- logical consequences (discipline logically connected to a misbehavior and is applied by an authority to influence a teen to behave within the limits of the situation)
- FLAC method (Feelings, Limits, Alternatives, and Consequences)
4 Qualities of an “I” Message
- State the problem
- Include the personal feeling
- State the reason
- State the desired change
8 Guidelines for Logical Consequences
- Ask the teen to help decide.
- Put consequences in forms of a choice.
- Make sure the consequence is logically connected to behavior.
- Give choices you can live with.
- Keep the tone firm and friendly.
- Give choice 1 time and then enforce the consequence.
- Expect testing.
- Allow teen to try again.
Natural Consequences
- The results that occur when a teen learns from their behavior without parental interference.
1. Don’t rescue teen from natural consequences.
2. Don’t say, “I told you so.”
Conditions Against: too dangerous, too far in the future, affecting someone else
Message of Anger
- Problem might go away…temporarily
- Anger may grow in intensity.
- Anger may express itself in unexpected and unhealthy ways.
Acting on Anger
- Focus on the situation, not the person
- Put situation into perspective
- Find an acceptable alternative
Engaging versus Remaining Calm and Firm
Engaging: making a fool of yourself; entertaining the audience and child; letting them get a reaction, thus controlling the situation
Communication Blocks when Child is Upset
- Commanding
- Giving advice: attempting to solve the problem
- Placating
- Interrogating
- Distracting
- Psychologizing
- Judging
- Moralizing
- Being sarcastic
- Being a know-it-all
- Focusing on mistakes
- Negative expectations
- Perfectionism
Active Communication
- Listen actively
- Listen for feelings
- Look for alternatives and evaluate consequences
- Offer encouragement
- Follow-up later
Self Disclosure
- Done for child, not parent
- Not a lecture
Logical Consequences vs. Punishment
Logical Consequences: teaches responsibility, not done out of anger
Punishment: done out of anger, teaches obedience
Behavioral Theory by Skinner
4 Principles:
Positive Reinforcement - Increasing a behavior by giving
Negative Reinforcement - Increasing a behavior by taking
Positive Punishment - Decreasing a behavior by giving
Negative Punishment - Decreasing a behavior by taking
2 Types of Negative Reinforcement
- Escape Conditioning: The increasing of a behavior by removing an aversive stimulus.
- Avoidance Conditioning: The expectation of the removal of an aversive stimulus to an increase in behavior (Combination of classical conditioning and negative reinforcement)
Support through Communication
Words: 8%
Tone of voice: 42%
Body Language: 50%
