Act 2: Scene 1

Question 1

FAKE SANTA #3: What a meshugaena Christmas.

Answer 1

Is this a Chinese restaurant?

Question 2

WAITRESS: No. I got a thing for dragons.

Answer 2

Sorry. I’ll keep looking…

Question 3

WAITRESS: Oh you too depressed for sarcasm, huh? Come on in honey, we’ve got a special on for out of work Christmas temps. You like hot and sour soup?

Answer 3

Ugh! No.

Question 4

MANAGER: Hey! Buddy. Come sit next to Santa Claus.

Answer 4

I know none of you are real Santas. But don’t worry, I’m not going to hit you. Mom explained to me that you guys pretend to be Santa for the kids who can’t make it to the North Pole to see the real Santa. I get it now. You make a lot of kids happy.

Question 5

WAITRESS: No respect.

Answer 5

No respect for Santa Claus?

Question 6

MANAGER: Me, too.

Answer 6

Wait. Don’t you guys want to hang out some more? Sing Songs? Complain?

Question 7

MANAGER: Listen to the Santas. Go get your old man a present.

Answer 7

A present?

Question 8

MANAGER: {snip} it’s about giving people stuff: socks, a lynx africa set. It’s the one day of the year everybody gets to be Santa Claus.

Answer 8

A present. Thanks guys

Question 9

MANAGER: That reminds me. It’s Christmas Eve and I got to get something for the wife. I hope the Dollar Store’s still open.

Answer 9

Christmas Eve! Oh my gosh! Jovie! I forgot all about Jovie!

Merry Christmas!