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Elf > Act 1: Scene 6 > Flashcards

Act 1: Scene 6 Flashcards

1
Q

SECURITY GUARD #2: Here you go. There’s a North Pole right in there.

A

There’s another one?

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2
Q

SALESWOMAN: That’s fabulous!

Welcome to Macy’s! How are you today?

A

I’m great! I just met my human dad!

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3
Q

SALESWOMAN: That’s fabulous! Are you an out-of-state visitor?

A

Yes! I’m from Christmas town!

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4
Q

SALESWOMAN: Then be sure to stop at our visitor’s services department to pick up your discount card.

A

Oh I won’t be buying anything. I only have chocolate money and most of that melted when I-

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5
Q

SALESWOMAN: That’s fabulous!

Jungle Passion fruit spray?

A

Fruit spray? Sure.

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6
Q

MANAGER: Hey you! Get back to work! What section I assign you to?

A

I don’t know?

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7
Q

MANAGER: You don’t know? All right, you work right over here, the North Pole.

A

That’s not the North Pole.

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8
Q

MANAGER: Yes, it is.

A

No, it’s not
(Let this go on for a while and then)
Where’s the Snow?!

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9
Q

MANAGER: Why you smilin’ like that?

A

I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favourite.

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10
Q

MANAGER: Make work your favourite, that’s your new favourite, okay? Work is your new favourite.

A

Yay! I love to work.

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11
Q

MANAGER: Good.

A

Nothing makes the big guy happier than to see all his little people working hard.

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12
Q

MANAGER: Wait a minute. The big guy?

A

Yeah.

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13
Q

MANAGER: The big guy from up north?

A

That’s the one.

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14
Q

MANAGER: Did he send you down here?

A

He sure did!

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15
Q

MANAGER: Corporate! Always checking up on me. Okay. Fine. We’ll work together, me and you, be good pals, okay?

A

Okay!

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16
Q

MANAGER: Okay. Now, I have to make a little announcement, if that’s alright with you?

A

Of course!

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17
Q

MANAGER: {snip} but tomorrow morning, ten a.m., Santa Claus is comin’ to town!

A

Santa!!! Oh, my gosh! Santa here? I know him! I know him!

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18
Q

MANAGER: He’ll be here to take pictures with all the children. Ten a.m. tomorrow…

A

Ten a.m. tomorrow!

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19
Q

MANAGER: Santa Claus is comin’ to town!

A

Santa Claus is comin’ to town!

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20
Q

MANAGER: You. If you don’t mind, could you go help that girl over there decorate?

A

Yay! Santa always likes it when I help decorate the North Pole!

Oh! She’s beautiful!

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21
Q

MANAGER: Yeah, but try talkin’ to her, she’s nuts.

A

She is? I love nuts!

Hi. I’m Buddy the Elf and we’re going to have fun together.

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22
Q

JOVIE: Hi. I’m Jovie the Elf and I seriously doubt it. Enjoying the view?

A

Yes. You’re very pretty. Like a glittery angel. I’d like to stick you on top of my tree!

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23
Q

JOVIE: Classy. You know what? I’m not a Christmas person, so dial down the elf speak, okay?

A

Uh oh. Sounds like someone needs to sing a Christmas Carol! Don’t you know, the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!

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24
Q

JOVIE: I don’t sing.

A

Oh come on. It’s fun!
I’M SINGING
I’M IN A STORE AND I’M SINGING
I’M IN A STORE AND I’M SINGING!

25
Q

MANAGER: Hey! There’s no singing at the North Pole!

A

Yes, there is!
(let it go a while and then)
The big guy likes it when we sing.

26
Q

MANAGER: Oh yeah? Then why are you here wearing an elf suit?

A

Wait! Stop! This isn’t the right way to decorate for Christmas!!! Don’t you care if Santa likes it or not?

27
Q

STORE ELF #2: Hey. Take your meds and get to work!

A

Decorating for Santa isn’t work, it’s fun! You just have to get into the Christmas Spirit!

28
Q

MANAGER: Yeah, yeah, let’s see some Christmas Spirit!

A

We can do it, all of us together!

29
Q

ALL: SPARKLEJOLLYTWINKLEJINGLEY!

A

Yay! Wasn’t that fun!

30
Q

MANAGER: You all did one heckuva good job. Nice work. You can go home now. All of you.

A

Gee, she’s so pretty.

31
Q

MANAGER: Well, why don’t you ask her out?

A

Out?

32
Q

MANAGER: On a date. Take her to dinner…

A

Eat food with her?

33
Q

MANAGER: You know. Show her a good time, dance with her, take her home…

A

…snuggle under the covers, get out the flashlights, eat gingerbread men

34
Q

JOVIE: Good night.

A

Hey, wait a second. Would somebody like a hug?

35
Q

JOVIE: No, would somebody like a punch in the throat?

A

No!

36
Q

JOVIE: So, goodnight.

A

Wait. Do you… wanna eat food?

37
Q

JOVIE: Do I want to eat food?

A

Um-hmm. You know…

38
Q

JOVIE: Are you asking me out on a date?

A

Yes, right, that’s it. A date!

39
Q

JOVIE: Oh, you don’t want to go out with me.

A

Yes, I do!

40
Q

JOVIE: No, you don’t.

A

Yes, I do!

41
Q

JOVIE: Why?

A

Well, because I like you. I feel really warm when I’m around you. And, um, my tongue swells up.

42
Q

JOVIE: Your tongue swells up?

A

Yeth it doth. See?

43
Q

JOVIE: Well, it’s weirdly nice that I make your tongue swell up, but I just don’t see this date happening.

A

Oh, of course. I’m sure you already have a date tonight. Obviously. You probably have guys wanting to eat food with you all the time. Lunch, dinner… I bet you have a different guy for breakfast every morning. It was dumb of me to ask.

44
Q

JOVIE: What the hell. I’m free Thursday.

A

Thursday? Thursday! Yessssss!!! This is going to be the best Thursday ever in the history of Thursdays!

45
Q

JOVIE: {snip} Don’t you have a home to go to?

A

Sure. I have a home to go to. A nice home, with a big bed. And walls and a ceiling and everything. I’m just going to stay here and put up a little more tinsel.

46
Q

JOVIE: Seriously? Okay. Well. Good night.

A

G’night Jovie.

47
Q

FAKE SANTA: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!

A

Santa! Yea! Yea! It’s me, Buddy! It’s me!

48
Q

FAKE SANTA: Yo Buddy, how ya doin’?

A

It’s me! Who the heck are you?

49
Q

FAKE SANTA: Whadda ya talkin’ about? I’m Santa Claus.

A

No, you’re not.

50
Q

FAKE SANTA: Yes, I am. Ho, ho, ho!

A

No, you’re not.

51
Q

BOY: I want Call of Duty Modern Warfare

A

Don’t tell him what you want, he’s a liar!

52
Q

BOY: I’m not talking to you!

A

You disgust me. You don’t smell like Santa. You smell like beef and cheese.

53
Q

FAKE SANTA: Just cool it, Zippy.

A

You sit on a throne of lies.

54
Q

BOY: You’re reprehensible!

A

You’re a fake.

55
Q

FAKE SANTA: I’m a fake? How’d you like to be dead? Huh?

A

Look, he’s not really Santa!

56
Q

MANAGER: Wait! Wait! Santa can’t run that fast!

A

He isn’t Santa! He’s a liar and a fake!

57
Q

POLICEMAN #1: Calm down. Tell us your name.

A

Buddy the Elf

58
Q

POLICEMAN #2: You got a last name, Buddy the Elf?

A

Hey! I do! I’m Buddy Hobbs. Do you know my dad, Walter Hobbs?

59
Q

POLICEMAN #1: No, but we’ll locate him while you’re sitting in a cell cooling your heels.

A

Thanks. My heels are incredibly sweaty. How did you know?

Elf (16 decks)

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