18.Interpersonal relationships 3: Sexual orientation, attractiveness, & friendship Flashcards
What are self-presentations (impression management)?
the process through which we try to control the impressions people form of us
Why are people concerned about how others view them?
- People self-present to obtain desireable resouces from others (It is a way of strategically gaining control over one’s life - increasing one’s rewards and minimizing one’s cost )
- Self-presentation is a way of constructing a self-image
- Self-presentations help others to know how we expect to be treated -> enabeling social encounters to run more smoothly
What is the dramaturgical perspective?
the perspective that much of social interaction can be thought of as a play, with actors, performances, settings, scrips, props, roles etc
Why are we often reluctant to challenge others’ presentations?
because smooth social interaction is important to us
When are people more likely to self-present?
When they see themselves in “public eye” (ex: pose for a photo, meet your lovers parents etc.)
what is the spotlight effect?
we often see ourselves in the public eye even when we are not (as if there was a spotlight on us)
Do other people actually pay alot of attention to other people?
No - People often don’t pay as much attention to us as we think they do
What is public self-coinsciousness?
the tendency to have a chronic awareness of oneself as being in the public eye
How are people that are high in public self-coinsciousness?
They are especially attuned to how others view them, respond negatively to rejection and focus to a greater degree on their reputation and appearance
When do we become more concerned with strategic self-presentaiton?
- When observers can influence whether or not we obtain our goals
- When these goals are important to us
- When we think observers have impressions different from the ones we want to project
What is self-monitoring
the tendency to be chronically concerned with one’s public image and to adjust one’s actions to fit the needs of the current situation
How are people high in self-monitoring?
- skilled at reading other’s emotional expressions and detecting when others are being manipulative
- Comfortable acting in ways that are inconsistent with their beliefs and attitudes -> therefore they are also better at customizing their presentation to fit the situations
- More likely to rise leadership positions
When does self-representation (for example fail)?
Often when we are nervous (we become clumsty etc.)
What has the fear of self-presentation been labeled?
social anxiety
What happens when we are caught self-presenting?
this can lead people to see the person as dishonest, untrustworthy etc.
Name the 3 public images that are especially useful (what people want to present themselves as)
- People want to appear likeable
- Competent
- High status and power
What are then4 ingratiation strategies that are particularly effective
- Expressing like for others (ex: compliments)
- Creating similarity (When we make ourselves like others they tend to like us more)
- Making ourselves physically attractive (Physically attractive people are indeed liked more and viewed more favorable than unattractive people)
- Projecting modesty (People who downplay their success are more liked more than people who boast them
Is the desire to be liked more profound in women or men?
Women - Women are therefore more likely to use the 4 techniques to get people to like them
Why is ingratiation more important for women?
- Because they, in particular, are rewarded for presenting themselves in agreeable and likable ways
- Women learn how society wants them to behave
- They have lower levels of testosterone - are more friendly and polite
How do we behave en friendship-settings?
We are more likely to smile, say nice things about the other, make ourselves more attractive etc. When talking to a friend/friend to be
What is the multible audience dilemma
a situation in which a person needs to present different images to different audiences often at the same time
What is self-promotion?
an attempt to get others to see us as competent
What does it mean to be staging performances?
Because success is sometimes overlooked we might create opportunities to stage our performances - to demonstrate our competence in public. (if you are a great guitar player and you want to show that - you might create a situation where the opportunity present itself, so you can play the guitar)
- If you’re incompetent at something you are likely to avoid public staging
When do verbal declarations of competence work well and when don’t they?
- Verbal declarations of competence work well when they are invited
- But they can also come across as immodest - truly competent individuals will not need to claim it - the result will speak for itself
It is especially powerful when the claim of competence is made by others on your behalf
What is self-handicapping?
the behavior of withdrawing effort or creating obstacles to one’s future successes.
How can people project an image of competence?
People can project an image of competence by staging performances, making verbal claims, taking in the trappings of success, providing excuses for their failures and claiming or creating obstacles for themselves
What is competence motivation?
the desire to perform effectively
What is achievement motivation
Seeing mastery as interesting and challenging
Where is the desire to appear competent particular profound?
in ambiguous situations ( where individuals are unsure of their standing)
What are the 4 strategies for conveying status and power?
- Display the artifacts of status and power
- Conspicuous consumption (buy the right things)
- Personal associations (know the right people)
- Status and power in nonverbal expressions (signaling power through ex: body language)
Are men or women more likely to display power and status?
Men har generally more likely to display status and power
Because:
-Socialization - males are trained to present themselves as dominant
- Biology - males have to compete for the females and be strong and dominant
BUT: There is no apparent gender difference in the human use of artifacts or personal associations
When are people more likely to display status and power
when valuable resources become newly available
How does men present themselves to women vs other men?
-Males are more likely to respond aggressive when the audience is male and inhibit this if the audience is females
What is a friend?
Someone with whom we have an affectionate relationship.
Friendships are more voluntarily - we choose them ourselves
What is the reinforcement-affect model?
The theory that we like people with whom we associate positive feelings and dislike those with whom we associate negative feelings
A bit like classical conditioning - if a person is present when something nice happens - you will associate them with a good feel and like them
-this model is a domain-general model = a model that attempts to explain a wide range of different behaviors according to a simple general rule (do it if it’s rewarding)
What is a domain-general model and what is its advantages and limitations?
a model that attempts to explain a wide range of different behaviors according to a simple general rule (do it if it’s rewarding)
- The advantage of a domain-general model = it seeks to use a minimum of presumptions to explain a broad range of phenomenon
- Limitation = it doesn’t tell us why some things feel god and others feel bad
What is social exchange theory? (friendships)
the trading of benefits within relationships
the motivation is to maximize the ratio of benefits to cost. Follow the Equity principle = one person’s benefits and costs from a relationship are proportional to the benefits and cost incurred by his or her partner
What is Equity?
a state of affairs in which one person’s benefits and costs from a relationship are proportional to the benefits and cost incurred by his or her partner
- people are less happy if they are over or under benefitted
Which models take the domain-general approach?
- reinforcement-affect model
- social exchange theory
What is a domain-specific model?
a model that presumes that the governing principles vary from one domain of behavior to another (such as friendship vs romance vs parent-child relationship)
-We think and feel differently depending on the adaptive problem posed by particular kinds of relationships
What are the 4 specific, and sometimes competing social goals?
social support, getting information, gaining status, and exchanging material benefits
Why do people turn to other people when they are emotionally distressed?
Because of a basic feature of humans: we are better in numbers
How females vs males respond to stress/threatening situations?
women = Tend and befriend (get their off-spring out of harm’s way and befriend and pull closer to other females)
Men = fight or flight
Who do women tend and befriend form an evolutionary perspective?
Females fighting or running off would have endangered their offspring.
Cuddling up with other females better serves offspring survival
Are men or women’s friendship more intimate?
Women - they are therefore also more likely to seek social support when stressed (but men also seek social support just not as much as women)
What is the primary method females use to hurt others?
The primary method girls use to hurt each other is to exclude the person
Why do people have a tendency to affiliate under threat?
Because we are safer in groups
How do people respond to social exclusion and how does it feel?
- People generally respond to social exclusion by working hard to enhance their social bonds, showing more interest in making new friends, volunteering to work with others and saying nice things about other people
- Social exclusion can hurt like physical pain
Sometimes people actively reject support from others - why?
- We don’t always see social support as a good thing when we can’t reciprocate
- Friends supportive function seems to disappear when their presence might lead you to feel evaluated
What is self-disclosure?
the sharing of intimate information about oneself
Which gender self-discloses more often?
Women - they are also more likely than men to disclose personal information
What is the downsides to self-disclosure?
trusting another person with your personal secret can open the door to feelings of betrayal, to gossip and possible invasions of your privacy
People in a state of uncertainty are especially motivated to make a particular comparison - which?
We want to compare ourselves with others who are similar to us either by virtue of being in the same boat
When we want to make an accurate decision, who do we affiliate with?
When the issue is highly important to our welfare we prefer to affiliating with others that can give us accurate information whether similar or not
When situations are not threatening who do we affiliate with?
similar others to make the reaction smoother
When it comes to comparing performances who do we prefer to compare ourselves to?
People prefer similar others whose performance is at the same level as their own
- BUT: It doesn’t bother us is someone else is better as something we don’t regard as central to how we define ourselves
What are women and men more likely to base their personal identity on?
Men are more likely to base their personal identity on career advancement and woman’s identities are more likely to have a blend of career and intimate relationships
What are men’s and women’s friendships based on?
- Men’s friendships are more focused on activities ex: sports and they have more work friends
- Women have more intimate relationship and have more friends outside of work
- Men’s relationships are marked more by hierarchy and instrumentality (status-seeking)
- Women’s relationships focus on emotional support and intimacy
In what cultures is the desire to form friendships with higher-ups is particularly strong?
highly status orientated cultures
Men value the company of women but how does wone fell about male friends?
women actually don’t feel the same way and would rather hang with other women
Women find the same sex friendships more meaningful and enjoyable
What is communal sharing?
A form of exchange in which members of a group share a pool of resources, taking when they are in need and giving when others are in need. Families often share this way
What is Authority ranking relationships?
® A form of exchange in which goods are divided according to a person’s status in the group (EX: a business where the boss gets a higher salary)
What is equality matching?
A form of exchange in which each person gets the same as the others
What is market pricing?
A form of exchange in which everyone gets out in proportion to what they put in.
a waiter who gives good service expect a great tip
Are people always motivated by the same exchange rules?
No it depends on who is involved in the interaction and that type of interaction it is
Characteristics of a person high on communal orientation and those who are low?
People who take a communal orientation tend to believe that each person in a relationship should give whatever is necessary to satisfy the need of the other
People low on this dimension tend to take a market-orientated view - you get what you give
What is the proximity-attraction principle?
the tendency to become friends with those who live or work nearby
-It is because we more often interact with people nearby
It is not the physical distance itself- it is because you see that person more often and that is making you like them more
What is the mere exposure effect?
the tendency to feel positively towards people, places or things we have seen frequently
What is social capital?
assest that can be drawn from one’s network of personal relationships
What are 3 important distinctions noted by cross-cultural psychologists? (exchange relationships)
- Relationships in the western society tend to be freely chosen >< those in more traditional tend to be involuntary
- Relationships in traditional culturs tend to be more permanent and continious than those on western cultures
- Relationship in urban western society tend to be individualistic those in traditional societies tend to be collectivistic
What does sexual orientation refer to?
Refers to the consistent sexual preference for members of a particular gender or sex
How should we conceptualize sexual orientation?
This is a difficult thing to do - you can see sexual orientation on a scale (one extreme = exclusive hetro and the other extreme = exclusive homosexual) OR you can see them as distinct categories (you are either X or X)
What are the limitations of self-reported behavior and self-reported attractions as measures of sexual orientation?
people are not willing to admit to themselves who they are attracted to or how they behave
How can you measure sexual orientation experimentally?
You can use ex: the Peter meter Measure arousal (blood flow) on the genitals This can be done on males but it is very difficult to do on females
Male arousal is strongly predictive of what?
Male arousal is strongly predictive of their sexual orientation
What are the predictors of homosexuality?
In both males and females: gender non-conformity
- childhood: play behavior, clothing, friends preference
- Adulthood: Recreational and occupational interests, speech, dress, movement
Which gender has had the most focus in research on sexual orientation?
Males
What is bisexuality?
preference for one gender but attracted to both gender
What is the characteristics of an objectively attractive person?
- Facial symmetry
- The waist-hip ration of 0.7 ( for women)
Why are men more attracted to females with a 0.7 hip ratio?
men like this because it is linked to elevated fertility (it is easier for the male to reproduce)
this is NOT about the overall weight that depends on the culture
What is the westermarck effect?
Children raised together do not feel attraction (this is the opposite of the mere-expose effect)
What has the evolutionary function of the westermarck effect been?
It has been a mechanism to avoid incest by preventing sexual interest among potential relatives
What can cause people to become more or less attracted to another person (which situation)
MORE:
-MISATTRIBUTATION OF AROUSAL -People seem to be more attracted when they are aroused but they misattributed the arousal to the person (even though it is not the person that is causing the arousal - it is because you are on a high bridge)
LESS:
-SOCIAL COMPARISONS - If you have just been exposed to a very attractive person you rate other people harder
Do people all over the world find the same things attractive?
No there are cultural differences in attractiveness
What is self-rated attractiveness?
How attractive one person sees itself
Does people who rate themselves af more attractive or people who are rated highly attractive by others have more self-esteem?
The people who rate themselves as attractive has higher self-esteem
What is the halo-effect?
we see attractive people difference form us and they are seen as more sociable, dominant, mentally healthy, sexually warm, intelligent, socially skilled
What happens when other people copy our movements in social interactions?
We like them more - we also copy others if we want them to like us
What can improve friendships/roommate friendships?
Roommate friendships improved by actual similarity in personality and values, and even more so by PERCEIVED similarity
What is self-disclosure reciprocity?
- We reveal more to those who reveal to us
- BUT: if someone discloses much rapidly and without reciprocity is can potentially be seen as unstable or indiscreet
What is “good” listening and what can it help improve?
It can improve friendship
- The attentive facial expression, appear comfortable, enjoying themselves, supportive phases what the other speaks
Relative to female relationships, male relationships tend to be what?
- Focus on activities or practical conversations
- involve competition
- Involve exchanges if instrumental support (help someone move)
Relative to male relationships, female relationships tend to be what?
- Females have more same-sex friends
- Prioritize those friendships more
- Evaluate self based on having an intimate friends
- use exclusion to hurt others
