Week 9: Attraction

Question 1

What is one ingredient that leads to attraction?

Answer 1

Proximity

Question 2

The more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends and lovers

Answer 2

Proximity (Propinquity effect)

Question 3

“Functional Distance”

Answer 3

Allows for more interaction and friendships

Question 4

Proximity leads to attraction because of the mere

Answer 4

exposure effect

Question 5

What is a second ingredient that leads to attraction?

Answer 5

similarity

We are attracted to people who are like us

Question 6

Why does similarity lead to liking?

Answer 6

We assume others with similar attitudes will like us –> Initiate freindship

Social validation –> suggests we are right

We feel we are better understood

Assume we will enjoy interacting with someone with similar beliefs.

Question 7

What is self expansion?

Answer 7

increase in potential efficacy

Question 8

What is one mechanism of self-expansion motive?

Answer 8

engaging in novel and arousing activities

ex. after skydiving, one acquires this experience and the sense of adventure.

Question 9

What does “inclusion of other in the self” mean?

Answer 9

Cognitive overlap between self and other

“feeling” as if the other’s resources, perspectives, and identities are one’s own.

Ex. Basking in reflected glory
Ex. Finishing each others sentences.

Question 10

What is the third ingredient that leads to attraction?

Answer 10

reciprocal liking

Question 11

reciprocal liking may lead to attraction only when people have high self esteem. Why?

Answer 11

those with low self-esteem doubt that other person likes them

Question 12

What is the fourth ingredient that leads to attraction?

Answer 12

physical attraction.

Question 13

Generally, concepts of beauty are

Answer 13

shared

Question 14

In women, big eyes show baby like qualities and prompt..

Answer 14

feelings of nurturance

Question 15

In men, promimentn cheek bone and chin are a sign of

Answer 15

sexual maturity.

Question 16

Beauty standards are similar in most cultures. There is a high agreement of attractiveness world-wide

Why?

Answer 16

certain qualities noted as attractive over course of evolution

Preference for averaged face over single face

Question 17

what is the matching hypothesis?

Answer 17

The tendency for peopel to pair up with others who are equally physically attractive

• Predicts relationship satisfaction and longevity

Question 18

What is complex matching?

Answer 18

When people are able to attract partners more physically attractive than themselves by offering compensatory assets (e.g. money)

A traditional type of pairing is gender-linked: Old wealthy man –> young attractive woman

Question 19

What is beautiful is good stereotype:

Answer 19

the assumption that physically attractive people are superior to others on many traits.

Question 20

One theory suggests there are two types of love (Bersheifl and Hatfield)

Answer 20

Companionate love

Passionate love

Question 21

What is companionate love?

Answer 21

intimacy and affection for another person we care deeply about

Question 22

What is passionate love?

Answer 22

intense longing and physiological arousal for another person

Question 23

What is the triangular theory of love?

Answer 23

intimacy, passion, commitment

Question 24

In relation to the triangular theory of love, what is intimacy (liking)?

Answer 24

when you feel a bond toward another without feeling intense passion of long-term commitment (close friendship)

Question 25

In relation to triangular theory of love, what is passion (infactuation)?

Answer 25

passionate arousal without intimacy or commitment (eg. one night stand)

Question 26

In relation to triangular theory of love, what is commitment (empty love)?

Answer 26

commitment wihtout intimacy or passion (e.g arranged marriage)

Question 27

The 3 ingredients to love can be combined to form more complex forms of love. True or false.

Answer 27

TRUE

Question 28

Intimacy + Passion =

Answer 28

Romantic love

Question 29

Intimacy + Commitment =

Answer 29

Companionate love

Question 30

Passion + Commitment =

Answer 30

Fatuous love

Question 31

Intimacy + Passion + Commitment =

Answer 31

consummate love

Question 32

Men are _____ likely to endorse love at first sight

Answer 32

more

Question 33

Men report falling in love ______

Answer 33

faster

Question 34

Women endorse more practical, friendship based views of love

Answer 34

TRUE

Question 35

Men and women both rate companionate and passionate love highly- men are _____ lkely to endorse romantic love

Answer 35

more

Question 36

What is evolutionary theory?

Answer 36

suggests love and attraction is driven by goal of passion on genes

Question 37

In social exchange theory: feelings about one's relationship depends on

Answer 37

cost/reward of current relationship --> reward/cost ratio Feelins of what one feels they deserve --> comaprison level whether they could have a better relationship elsewhere --> comparison level for alternatives.

Question 38

We need to consider level of _________

Answer 38

investment

Question 39

Investments can include tangibles, or intangibles

Answer 39

tangibles --> money house possessions Intengibles --> emotions, time greater investment --> less likely to leave

Question 40

what is equity theory?

Answer 40

People are happiest with relationships where the reward/cost ratio is similar for both people involved. Feel uneasy when over-or-under benefitted.

Question 41

In relation to equity theory, what are exchange relationships?

Answer 41

repay is immediate feel exploitd when contributions are not returned keep track of who contributes what helping other has little effect on mood

Question 42

In relation to equity theory, what are communal relationships?

Answer 42

Dont like to be repaid immedietly Dont feel exploited when contributions are not returned dont keep track of who contributes what Helping others makes up happy

Question 43

What are positive illusions?

Answer 43

idealizations of our romantic partner in order to maintain the relationship

Question 44

The more we idealize our partners, the _______ we are and the longer our relationships last

Answer 44

happier Partners also begin to "live up" to the positive illusions

Question 45

Positive illusions create a __________ __________ prophesy

Answer 45

Self-fulfilling Over time people come to see themselves as their partners see them

Question 46

WHY RELATIONSHIPS END: What are the 4 horsemen (negative communication styles)

Answer 46

Criticism Defensiveness stonewalling contempt

Question 47

In relation to negative communication styles, what is criticism

Answer 47

Attack of partners character ex. you're such a slob you never clean up after yourself Antidote: talk about your feelings using "I" statements

Question 48

In relation to negative communication styles, what is defensiveness?

Answer 48

cross complaining: seeing self as the victim ex. yes, but you... Really just a way to blame your partner and the problem isnt solved Antidote: accept responsibility

Question 49

In relation to negative communication styles, what is stonewalling?

Answer 49

withdrawing, cutting off communication --> cold rejection of partner one person shuts down and closes himself/herself off from the other Antidote: actively communicate with your partner.

Question 50

In relation to negative communication styles, what is contempt?

Answer 50

treating partner with disrespect ex. mocking with sarcasm, name calling, eye rolling conveys disgust number 1 predictor of divorce Antidote: always treat your partner with respect.

Question 51

It's okay to have negative emotions/interactions, BUT

Answer 51

need 5:1 ratio of good : bad

Question 52

People mistakenly infer what is causing them to feel the way they do

Answer 52

Misattirubtion of arousal revisited.

Question 53

What is the commitment calibration hypothesis?

Answer 53

The impact of adversity on a relationship dpends on commitment to relationship