Week 12: The Dissolution and Loss of Relationships Flashcards
What are the reasons why relationships end, based on divorce data?
1) Infidelity/Interest in third party
2) Incompatibility
3) Drinking or drug use
4) Grew apart
5) Partner’s personality
6) Lack of communication
7) Physical or psychological abuse
8) Loss of love
9) Not meeting family responsibilities
10) Work problems
What are some influences underlying the big increase in the rate of divorce?
1) Demanding expectations
2) Women work outside the house
3) Gender roles are changing
4) Western culture is more individualistic
5) Sex ratios are lower (less traditional and more permissive)
6) Divorce is less shameful and easier to obtain
7) Cohabitation is more prevalent
What are the new trends in relationship dissolution?
- Ghosting
- Churning
- Conscious uncoupling
What is ghosting?
Breaking off a relationship without warning/justification, and ignoring the former partner’s efforts to communicate
What is churning?
On-again/off-again relationship
What is conscious uncoupling?
Letting go of the idea that marriage must end in death in order to be considered a success
Allowing the marriage to end with goodwill, honor, and gratitude on all sides
What are the models for the predictors of relationship dissolution?
- Investment model
- Vulnerability-stress-adaptation model
Based on the PAIR project, what are the models that predict divorce?
Enduring dynamics
Emergent distress
Disillusionment
What is the outcome that the enduring dynamic model predicts in the PAIR project?
The enduring dynamics model predicted how happy marriages would be
What is the best predictor of which couples would actually divorce?
The disillusionment model
What is the enduring dynamics model?
Suggests that spouses bring to their marriages problems, incompatibilities, and enduring vulnerabilities that surface during their courtship
What is the emergent distress model?
Suggests that the problematic behavior that ultimately destroys a couple begins after they marry
What is the disillusionment model?
Suggests that couples typically begin their marriages with rosy, romanticized views of their relationship that are unrealistically positive, then marital satisfaction declines steeply afterwards
What are the key factors in relational outcomes?
Both the LEVEL of satisfaction a couple experiences and the CHANGE in that satisfaction over time
What are the patterns of the ways people end relationships?
Indirect efforts (vs. explicit and direct)
Selfish, self-oriented (vs. considerate, other-oriented)
Typically make several protracted attempts to end r/s (vs. succeeding quickly)
Usually no formal effort to repair the r/s
How do people usually think about breakups?
Ppl think about breakups in an independent rather than interdependent way
What is the usual sequence of events during relationship dissolution?
Ambivalence, vacillation and a length process of r/s dissolution – breakups are not a decisive process
How does discontent occur?
Discontent usually grows gradually rather than suddenly
What is catastrophe theory?
Some relationships do not gradually unwind through stages of r/s dissolution, but instead are characterised by sudden death (i.e. a single critical event)
What are some examples of critical events in catastrophe theory?
Infidelity, serious arguments, physical violence
What are the processes involved in recovery?
- Visualising future w/o old partner
- Taking lessons away from the experience
- Revising the breakup story
- Exploring new alternatives
Engaging in writing about their recovery process aids in…
Self-concept clarity
What is the association between commitment and closeness after breakup?
Higher commitment during the r/s is associated with greater closeness after the breakup
What are the consequences for health after divorce?
Relative to married people, those whose marriage has dissolved are less likely to be fully healthy
What are the consequences for the self after r/s dissolution?
- Self-regulatory consequences
- Self-concept clarity
How does r/s status and partner instrumentality affect self-regulatory consequences in achieving personal goals?
R/s intact: High PI > low PI - greater goal progress
R/s dissolved: Low PI > high PI - greater goal progress
How does r/s dissolution relate to self-concept clarity?
Breakup predicts reduction in self-concept clarity
What is the affective forecasting bias in r/s dissolution?
We overestimate the magnitude of risk before breaking up
How does affective forecasting bias vary in couples?
Ppl who were highly “in love” when making their forecasts overestimate their distress the most
What are some positive outcomes of relational breakups?
- Personal positives
- Relational positives
- Environmental positives
- Future positives
What are personal positives?
Increased self-sufficiency; being able to handle life on one’s own; better progress on personal goals
What are relational positives?
Knowing more about how to communicate w/ partners; how to develop, maintain, and terminate r/s
What are environmental positives?
Being able to concentrate more on school, work, friends
What are future positives?
Knowing what one wants and does not want in future r/s
