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Psych of Close Relationships > Week 11: Maintaining & Repairing Relationships > Flashcards

Week 11: Maintaining & Repairing Relationships Flashcards

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1
Q

How does satisfaction vary in romantic relationships?

A

Satisfaction declines over time

But there’s substantial variation around the average trajectory

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2
Q

How does martial satisfaction vary between couples?

A

About half of the couples’ martial satisf. stay stable

Those who start lower than average decline more quickly

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3
Q

What are relationship maintenance mechanisms?

A

Strategic actions people take to sustain their partnerships

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4
Q

One conceptualisation of trust is that…

A

It depends on the partner’s 1) predictability, 2) dependability, 3) faith

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5
Q

Predictability and dependability is contingent on…

A

Past experiences with the person

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6
Q

Faith is…

A

Correlated with predictability and dependability

May come from how trusting of other people in general

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7
Q

Trust can also take the form of…

A

Both automatic and controlled processes

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8
Q

How do committed vs. uncommitted people behave in r/s?

A

People who are committed to a partnership (i.e. who want and expect it to continue) both THINK and BEHAVE differently than less committed partners do
–> Cognitive and behavioural maintenance mechanisms

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9
Q

What are some cognitive maintenance mechanisms?

A
  • Cognitive interdependence (we vs. I/you)
  • Positive illusions (idealise partner by enhancing positive qualities and diminishing negative qualities)
  • Perceived superiority
  • Inattention to alternatives
  • Derogation of tempting alternatives
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10
Q

What are some behavioural maintenance mechanisms?

A
  • Willingness to sacrifice
  • Michelangelo phenomenon (How you are sculpting your partner’s ideal self of themselves i.e. make them the best person they want to be)
  • Play (Novel and exciting activities, self-expansion)
  • Forgiveness/accommodation
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11
Q

What is the Michelangelo phenomenon?

A

When our partners behave toward us in ways that encourage us to gradually become the people that we want to be

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12
Q

What is accommodation?

A

The willingness to control the impulse to respond in kind to a partner’s provocation and to instead respond constructively

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13
Q

How does commitment and willingness to sacrifice relate?

A

People who are highly committed are especially likely to sacrifice

But this effect reverses when the sacrifice poses an EXISTENTIAL THREAT TO THE R/S

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14
Q

What is the manipulation in the existential threat study?

A

Threat manipulation (low vs. high)

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15
Q

What are the results for the existential threat study?

A

Low threat to r/s:
- High commitment > Low commitment, showed more support for partner’s goal

High threat to r/s
- Low commitment > High commitment, showed more support for partner’s goal

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16
Q

What are the takeaways from the existential threat study?

A

We might not sacrifice when the r/s interest is at stake

We usually think partner’s interest is aligned with r/s interest, but sometimes they can be misaligned

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17
Q

What are the moderators for the association between sacrifice and satisfaction?

A
  • Communal orientation

- Approach vs avoidance reasons

18
Q

How do more (vs. less) communally oriented people feel about the sacrifices they’ve made for their relationship?

A
  • People who are MORE (vs. less) COMMUNALLY ORIENTED toward their partner tend to feel happier, more appreciated, and more satisfied after making a sacrifice
  • This effect is driven in part by the sacrifice feeling MORE AUTHENTIC (true to oneself)
19
Q

How do people feel about the sacrifices they’ve made for their relationship for approach vs. avoidance reasons?

A

Ppl feel better about sacrifices they make for APPROACH reasons than for avoidance reasons

20
Q

What is derogation of alternatives?

A

Ppl evaluate attractive alternatives as less desirable

21
Q

What is inattention to alternatives?

A

Ppl shift their attention away from attractive alternatives

22
Q

What are the results of the dating service study (1989)?

A

Moderately appealing target: Low and high commitment do not differ in attraction

Highly appealing target: Low commitment > High commitment, greater attraction to alternative partner

23
Q

What are the results of the motivated inattention study?

A
  • Slower disengagement from photos of attractive other-sex people predicted infidelity in the first 3 years of marriage
  • 100 ms faster predicted a 50% reduction in infidelity likelihood

Attention to attractive other-sex faces -> Infidelity -> Relationship dissolution

24
Q

What are the effects of using relationship maintenance mechanisms?

A

Partners who routinely engage in these activities are happier than those who work less hard to maintain their partnerships

However, the effects of these actions are short-lived, and ppl apparently need to KEEP DOING THEM in order for them to be beneficial

25
Q

What are the 2 ways in which people can “DIY” to repair their relationships?

A

1) 21-minute marriage hack

2) Marriage at the movies

26
Q

How does the 21-minute marriage hack work?

A

Emotional reappraisal: Re-evaluate experiences by imagining how a neutral 3rd party would view their behaviour

27
Q

What are the steps in the 21-minute marriage hack?

A

1) Think about the specific disagreement you just wrote from the perspective of a neutral third party that wants the best…
2) What obstacles do you face in taking this third party perspective…?
3) Please try your best to take this third party perspective, especially during disagreements, over the next 4 months

28
Q

What are the outcomes from the 21-minute marriage hack?

A

Couples who engage in the intervention had more stable r/s quality (less decline)

29
Q

What is marriage at the movies?

A

Watch movies showing LT relationships then discussing about them and reflecting on their own r/s

30
Q

What are the two aspects of marriage at the movies?

A

1) 3rd party perspective

2) Give time to talk to partner

31
Q

What are the aims of the PREP program?

A
  • To instill realistic expectations
  • To open lines of communication
  • To encourage play
32
Q

What is the centerpiece of the PREP program?

A

The speaker-listener technique

33
Q

What is the function of the speaker-listener technique?

A

Provides a structure for calm, clear communication about contentious issues

Increases chances that partners will understand and validate each other despite their disagreement

34
Q

What are the benefits of PREP training?

A

PREP training seems to result in increased satisfaction during the first year of marriage

35
Q

What are the benefits of premarital preventive maintenance?

A

Some premarital preventive maintenance appears to facilitate a few years of smooth sailing when marriages begin

36
Q

What are the types of marital therapy?

A
  • Behavioural couple therapy (BCT)
  • Cognitive-behavioural couple therapy (CBCT)
  • Integrative behavioural couple theray (IBCT)
  • Emotionally focused couple therapy (EFCT)
  • Insight-oriented couple therapy (IOCT)
37
Q

What are the aims of behavioural couple therapy (BCT)?

A

Be constructive, not destructive

38
Q

What are the aims of cognitive-behavioural couple therapy (CBCT)?

A

Be more committed, rational

39
Q

What are the aims of emotionally focused couple therapy (EFCT)?

A

Reappraise emotions

40
Q

What are the aims of insight-oriented couple therapy (IOCT)?

A

Look at past experiences and gain insight to r/s

41
Q

How do different therapeutic approaches vary?

A
  • Their focus on problematic (a) behaviour, (b) thoughts, or (c) feelings
  • Their focus on partners’ individual difficulties or those of the couple
  • Their emphasis on past events or present difficulties as the source of distress
42
Q

What are the key features shared by different forms of marital therapy?

A
  • Each provides a reasonable explanation of why a couple has been experiencing difficulty
  • Each offers hope for desirable change
  • Each increases a couple’s repertoire of more effective and more advantageous behaviour

Psych of Close Relationships (5 decks)

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