The Principles

Question 1

1 - Don’t criticise, condemn, or complain

Answer 1

Hold back the bad. Nobody benefits from criticism

Question 2

2 - Give honest and sincere appreciation

Answer 2

The best way to ALWYAS get results from other people is to reward the good.

Question 3

3 - Arouse the person in an eager want

Answer 3

The only way to get others to do what I want them to do is to make them want to do it.

Question 4

4 - Become genuinely interested in other people

Answer 4

They will be interested in me and like me only if I am interested in them.

Question 5

5 - Smile

Answer 5

Nothing creates a positive energy better than a smile.

Question 6

6 - A person’s name to that person is the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Answer 6

Remembering one’s name gives him a sense of pride and importance. He feels we care, and will help us in return

Question 7

7 - Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves

Answer 7

To be interesting, be interested.

Question 8

8 - Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Answer 8

Getting him to talk about his passions and interests = getting him to open up his heart and talk.

Question 9

9 - Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely

Answer 9

Even the most important people are needy for appreciation and how important they are.

Question 10

10 - The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Answer 10

Arguments = nobody changed POV.

Agreements = open up to change POV

Question 11

11 - Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong.”

Answer 11

Saying “you’re wrong” sets off a challenge. It arouses opposition and makes the listener want to battle.

Question 12

12 - If I am wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

Answer 12

This shows character - no one will have a go at me for doing that. It’s much easier (and fun) to self criticise than to bear condemnation from alien lips.

Question 13

13 - Begin in a friendly way

Answer 13

“A drop of honey catches more flow than a gallon of gall.” - Lincoln

Question 14

14 - Get the other person to say “yes, yes” immediately.

Answer 14

This “Socratic Method” will make the opponent have to agree. Repeatedly doing so, he accumulates an armful of ‘yeses’. Eventually the other person will embrace the conclusion. But he would never say that they’re wrong.

Question 15

15 - Let the other person do a great deal of talking.

Answer 15

Allow them to speak and show genuine interest for them and their problems.

Encourage them to brag. Who doesn’t like sharing their achievements?

Question 16

16 - Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Answer 16

By human nature, we feel important if we are asked to create an idea. We feel proud once we create that idea. And then we act towards it, positively.

Question 17

17 - Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view

Answer 17

How would I feel / react if I was in their shoes? This saves time and irritation. Becoming more interested in the cause = less likely to dislike the effect. Also, I increase my people skills.

Question 18

18 - Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas, desires, and problems.

Answer 18

The human species universally craves sympathy. The child eagerly displays his injury; or even inflicts a cut or bruise in order to reap abundant sympathy. Give them sympathy and they will love me.

Question 19

19 - Appeal to the nobler motives

Answer 19

People are honest and want to do the right thing. Make them feel that they are upright and fair.

Question 20

20 - Dramatise my ideas

Answer 20

Words may not be enough to spike attention. Physically show what I am talking about. Use showmanship

Question 21

21 - Throw down a challenge

Answer 21

After studying thousands of people from all abilities, the one major factor that motivated people was the work itself. The work has to be exciting and interesting, so workers can be motivated to do a good job. Competition stimulates this.

Question 22

22 - Begin with praise and honest appreciation

Answer 22

It’s always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have hears some praise of our good points.

Question 23

23 - Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

Answer 23

Subtly address their mistake after a praise. They will take action by this rather than screaming and cursing.

Question 24

24 - Talk about my own mistakes first before criticising the other person

Answer 24

It is much easier to listen to criticism when I am humble enough to accept that I am not perfect as well.

Question 25

25 - Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Answer 25

This makes it easy for them to correct errors, saves their pride, gives them a feeling of importance, and encourages cooperation > rebellion.

Question 26

26 - Let the other person save face

Answer 26

“I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime”

• Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Question 27

27 - Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be ‘hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.’

Answer 27

Praising the slightest improvement is cornerstone for dog trainers. Why don’t we do the same to change people?

We all possess untapped powers. These wither under criticism and blossom under encouragement.

Question 28

28 - Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Answer 28

“The average person can be led readily if you have his or her respect and if you can show that you respect that person for some kind of ability.“

This respect for their ability gives them a reputation to live up to.

Question 29

29 - Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

Answer 29

Saying they’re shit and have to start again only makes them lose their desire to improve, then quit.

Saying that their abilities are capable of it only gives them hope and a desire to improve. Even if they question it, some part of them believes it.

Question 30

30 - Make the other person happy about doing the thing I suggest

Answer 30

Point out the benefits for them and they will be eager to do the task. Allow them to feel important