Get People To My POV

Question 1

What should be done if one yells?

Answer 1

The other should listen. When 2 people yell, there’s no communication, just noise and bad vibrations.

Question 2

Welcome the disagreement?

Answer 2

If there’s a point I haven’t thought about, be thankful it’s brought to my attention.

Question 3

Distrust my first instinctive impression?

Answer 3

Keep calm. Watch out for my first reaction of defence

Question 4

Control my temper?

Answer 4

The size of a person is measured by what makes him or her angry.

Question 5

Listen first?

Answer 5

Give opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish.

Question 6

Look fire areas of agreement?

Answer 6

Dwell on the points which I agree on.

Question 7

Promise to think over my opponent’s ideas? And mean it?

Answer 7

They may be right. Agreeing to it is way better than a “we told you so, but you wouldn’t listen!”

Question 8

Thank my opponents for their interest?

Answer 8

Think of them as people who really want to help me.

Question 9

What did Buddha say about hatred?

Answer 9

“Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love.”

Question 10

9/10 how do arguments end (in terms of new beliefs)?

Answer 10

Each contestant is more firmly convinced ever about his own opinion.

Question 11

What should be done to change their POV instead of saying “you’re wrong.”?

Answer 11

Ask questions in a friendly, cooperative manner. Be very careful not to let him think I’m making an issue of this point.

Question 12

What did Ben Franklin do when hit with stinging truth?

What would he do when asserted with what he thought was an error?

Answer 12

He was big and wise enough to realise it was true, then began to change immediately.

Began by observing how his opinion may be right.

Question 13

When we are wrong, we may admit it to ourselves. But in what case will we admit it to others?

Answer 13

Only when we are handled gently and tactfully we may admit it to others and even take pride in our broad-mindedness

Question 14

Instead of instinctively reacting with “that’s right/wrong”, What should be done?

Answer 14

Understand precisely what the meaning of the statement is to the other person.

Question 15

There’s magic in such phrases as “I may be wrong, I frequently am. Let’s examine the facts.” Why?

Answer 15

I will never get into uncle but admitting that I may be wrong.

Question 16

What type of person defends their mistakes?

Answer 16

Any fool can try to defend their mistakes - and most of them do

Question 17

How can I take the fight out of one who is criticising me?

Answer 17

Be EAGER to criticise myself. If I’m going to be criticised anyway, do it myself. Beat them to it.

Question 18

If I criticise myself before them, why would they not be heated at me?

Answer 18

By being human, receiving a feeling of importance comes from taking the magnanimous attitude of showing mercy.

Question 19

The Greek fable about the sun and the wind trying to get the coat of the man. What is the message?

Answer 19

Kindliness, the friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world.

Question 20

How can I begin in a friendly way?

Answer 20

1. Be very calm (no temper). Friendly.
2. Compliment them. Their job, company, choices, anything that represents them.
3. Or sympathise with their view point
4. When time is right, address the ‘little’ problem

Question 21

What are some phrases to begin in a friendly way?

Answer 21

“This may, perhaps, be worth thinking of. Here are some facts that I trust you will not lose sight of.”

“You, with your knowledge of human nature, will easily see the significance of these facts.”

Question 22

Why is it important to begin friendly?

Answer 22

If a man’s heart is rankling with discord and ill feelings towards me, I can’t win him to my way of thinking, even with all the logic in the world.

But they may be lead to, if I am gentle and friendly.

Question 23

How can I get them to say “yes, yes”? Provide some examples.

Answer 23

Make the questions very easy to answer.

“Isn’t that so?”
“Is that correct?”

Keep on emphasising on things that we agree on. Make it that we are both striving for the same end.

Question 24

What happens when a person says no? What about yes?

Answer 24

No = The entire organism (glandular, nervous, muscular) gathers itself into a condition of rejection. It is all set on guard against acceptance.

Yes = the exact opposite

Question 25

“If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.”
- La Rochefoucauld

Why is this true?

Answer 25

When our friends excel us, they feel important. When we excel them, they feel inferior and envious.

Question 26

Almost every successful person likes to reminisce about their early struggles. How can I use this?

Answer 26

Show genuine interest in them and their problems. Encourage them to do most the talking

Question 27

What should I do if I feel tempted to interpret as I disagree?

Answer 27

DON’T! It’s dangerous. They won’t pay attention to me while they still have a lot of ideas of their own, crying for expression.

Question 28

Who’s creation are we most likely to buy from?

Answer 28

We much prefer to feel that we are biting of our own accord or acting on our own ideas. We like to be consulted about our wishes, wants, and thoughts.

Question 29

Even if the other person is totally wrong, what should I do?

Answer 29

Do not condemn. Any fool can do that.

Try to understand them - they don’t think they are wrong, so understand their POV. Wise people even try this.

Question 30

How can I encourage the listener to have an open mind to my ideas?

Answer 30

Start the conversation by giving the other person the direction of the conversation.
Govern what I say by what I would want to hear if I were the listener.
Accept their viewpoint.

Question 31

What magic phrase will stop arguments, eliminate ill feelings, create good will, and make the other person listen attentively?

Answer 31

“I don’t blame you one bit for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.”

This will soften the most cantankerous old cuss alive.

Question 32

What should I do if I encounter a irritated and bigoted person?

Answer 32

Feel sorry for the poor devil. Pity them. Sympathise with them.

3/4 of people I meet are starving for sympathy. Give it to them and they will love me.

Question 33

How was Louisa May (famous author) persuaded to write for a random man?

Answer 33

She was offered $100 - not to her, but to her favourite charity. This is appealing to the greater good.

Question 34

How can appealing to the nobler motive (in this case, human nature) be used to persuade others?

Answer 34

State that with experience in this situation, I can tell how a human is and their nature. Now, give a positive behavior and associate it with them (make it relevant). Finally, provide the action that portrays this behaviour.

Question 35

How does a lover dramatise during a proposal?

Answer 35

Not only does he use words, he goes down on his knees.

Question 36

What do TV and movies do that catch attention?

Answer 36

They make what they say vivid, interesting, and dramatic.

Question 37

What does every successful person love, more than anything? What drives them?

Answer 37

Competition. The game. The change for self expression. The chance to prove their worth, to excel, to win. The desire for a feeling of importance.

Question 38

What was the motto of the King’s Guard in Ancient Greece?

What is the Gurkha motto?

Answer 38

“All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory.”

“Rather die than live coward.”