SP lec. 10 - Attractiveness, Relationships and Love Flashcards

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1
Q

What are some examples of tangible effects of relationships?

A
  • people in happy marriages have lower blood pressure and better immune functioning
  • elderly individuals with more friends are less likely to die within ten years from study
  • people that suffer from coronary heart disease are less likely to die if they perceive more social support
  • if in strong relationships-> 50% increased likelyhood of survival
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2
Q

What are some challenges in studying relationships?

A
  • people are not completely honest in self-report measures
  • tricky to observe intimate relationships
    1. hard to establish cause and effect
    • impossible to assign participants randomly to different relationships -> not possible to conduct experiments
  • e.g. more relationship satisfaction = more sex -> which is cause and which effect?
    2. lack of cross-cultural studies and lack of research on certain types of relationships
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3
Q

What relationships are the most studied?

A
  • heterosexual (even though gay relationships are more similar to the heterosexual ones than expected)
  • romantic (and not friendships)
  • college-aged couples
  • from WEIRD countries
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4
Q

what are some studies to predict the future of a couple?

A
  1. ask partners to talk about their relationships (relationship history, similarities with partner and marriage philosophy, …)
    -> predictor of whether couple would still be together after five years
  2. study on first impressions on first dates and follow-ups
    -> predictor of whether the encounters would continue
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5
Q

why do relationships have such big effects on physical health?

A
  • it’s a buffer against stress
  • related to healthy behavior
  • helps in finding solutions to problems
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6
Q

what are some effects of a break-up?

A
  • physical pain as well as psychological pain
  • loss of self-concept clarity
  • continuing thinking about what went wrong can cause less satisfaction in future relationship
  • less happiness when relationship ends compared to before break-up
    ! frustration and dissatisfaction with the relationship is more predictive of a break-up than the feeling that love is gone
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7
Q

How can attraction lead to liking?

A
  • physical attraction
  • perceived similarity
  • pleasant interactions
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8
Q

why does physical appearance lead to attraction?

A
  • personality traits are inferred from looking at physical appearance
  • “what is beautiful is good”
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9
Q

can an “ideal beauty” be inferred?

A
  • no, because no physical characteristics are always (time) considered equally attractive everywhere (location)
  • the influence of physical appearance on attraction is cross-cultural, but…
  • what is seen as attractive differs over time and culture
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10
Q

what are studies that prove the idea that “what’s beautiful is good”?

A
  • study: only physical attractiveness predicts intention to go on second date
  • study: essays of attractive women are rated more positively by male fellow students
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11
Q

What is beautiful is good - what does it mean?

A
  • we associate other desirable characteristics to physical attraction
    ~ e.g. we think that beautiful people are more intelligent
  • we find people that we judge more positively as more attractive (what is good is beautiful)
  • it becomes a self-fulfulling prophecy (we make what is beautiful, good)
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12
Q

What is beautiful is good - why?

A
  • biological bases
  • experiential bases
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13
Q

Biological bases for physical attractiveness

A
  • symmetry and averageness of bodies and faces
  • faces and bodies that suggest good access to resources
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14
Q

symmetry of faces and bodies - how is this preference explained?

A
  1. evolutionary explanation: health and averageness
  2. cognitive explanation: processing fluency
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15
Q

How does evolution explain the preference for symmetry?

A
  • symmetry indicates good physical health, good genes and freedom from diseases
  • monkeys do not seem to prefer average faces
  • averageness effect also occurs when humans rate pictures of pets
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16
Q

What is the cognitive explanation of the preference for symmetry?

A
  • processing fluency
    -> average faces are processed with more fluency and therefore higher rated
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17
Q

In what circumstances is the symmetry and averageness effect more important?

A
  • it has greater impact when thoughts of diseases are more accessible in people’s minds (e.g. after looking at pictures of infections)
  • it is cross-cultural but symmetry signals good health depending on the culture
    ~ eg in hunter-gatherer culture it is more salient as there are higher risks of diseases
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18
Q

what are some predictors of attractiveness in women?

A
  • low BMI/ body fat percentage
  • low waist to hip ratio (“golden” ratio is controversial)
    -> would signal reproductive potential
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19
Q

What are some predictors of attractiveness in men?

A
  • no portruding belly
  • V-shaped upper body
  • higher shoulder to waist ratio
  • BMI at lower limit
    -> would signal ability to acquire and retain resources
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20
Q

faces and bodies that indicate good access to resources are considered as more attractive - why?

A
  • indicate wealth, power, status
  • e.g. in cultures with scarcity of food, heavier women are considered more attractive
  • in cultures with overabundance of food, thinner women are considered more attractive
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21
Q

what are some factors that attraction depends on?

A
  • culturalization/SES (low ses regions: no preference for thinness)
  • temporary affective state (hungry men have a preference for heavier women)
  • individual preferences (men have higher preference for hourglass figure if also have more traditional view of gender roles)
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22
Q

What are some experiential bases for physical attraction?

A
  • we like what we see more often
    > study: more attracted to features repeated in different stimuli
    > more attracted to features we have long-term exposure to
  • we like people we find attractive and we find attractive people we like
    > study: more attractiveness perceived if we get positive information about a person
    > we find our partner more attractive than others do
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23
Q

why does similarity influence liking?

A
  • similarity signals me and mine
  • it increases sense of familiarity
  • it fulfills needs of mastery and connectedness
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24
Q

how does similarity influence liking?

A
  • we like more things that are similar to us
  • similarity doesn’t need to be deep
    > e.g. we like people with same initials as us more
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25
Q

similarity - signals “me and mine”

A
  • anything connected to self is deemed as positive (since we view ourselves as positive, we also view others that are similar to us as positive)
  • more people find similarities with average faces -> considered as more attractive
  • we like others similar to us because we think that they also like us
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26
Q

similarity - signals familiarity

A
  • we tend to like what’s familiar, and similar people feel familiar to us
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27
Q

similarity - contributes to mastery

A
  • people interact with similar others
  • similarity makes mimicry more likely
  • similarity is the key predictor of cooperation, trust and helping
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28
Q

similarity - validates connectedness

A
  • any similarity increases connection
  • similar others are perceived to understand us and accept us more
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29
Q

how does positive interaction influence liking?

A
  • people tend to like people they interact with even if paired by chance
  • positive interaction is often promoted by physical proximity
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30
Q

what contributes to the effect of interaction?

A
  • interaction makes others familiar
  • interaction contributes to mastery
    > it can be rewarding (e.g. discussing personal worries to friend)
  • interaction helps us feel connected
    ! interaction with people we dislike decreases liking
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31
Q

what are some physical determinants of attraction? (summary)

A
  • proximity
  • familiarity
  • appearance (symmetry and averageness)
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32
Q

what are some psychological determinants of attraction?

A
  • matching attitudes
    > we find people with same attitudes more attractive
    > particularly sharing distinctive attitude predicts attraction
  • matching demographic characteristics
    > SES, countryside vs city, …
  • variety
    > the larger and more diverse a group of “available” people, the more similar your friends
  • mutual liking
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33
Q

what two factors is mutual liking dependent on?

A
  • reciprocity
  • arousal and incidental factors
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34
Q

Reciprocity

A
  • we like people more who like us too
  • depends on selectivity (only reciprocity if someone does not show interest in all other interaction partners)
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35
Q

What are the differences in men and women regarding sexual encounters? why?

A
  • men have sex apparently more frequently and with a wider variety of partners
  • men start having sex at younger age
  • men show more interest in casual sexual encounters than women
    > sexual strategies theory
36
Q

Sexual strategies theory

A
  • preference of men to reproduce as much as possible
  • women can only be pregnant once at a time
    -> men benefit from having different partners, faster transition and active search for sexual partners
37
Q

is the sexual strategies theory convincing?

A
  • sex differences disappear or are found in opposite direction if fake lie detection test procedure is used
  • … social cognitive theory (sex differences are the result of socially acquired beliefs - sexual double standard)
38
Q

what are some benefits of online dating?

A
  • more control
  • more uncertainty
  • less visibility
  • more self-disclosure
39
Q

what are positive aspects of media and online interaction?

A
  • anonymity/invisibility
  • (a)synchronicity
  • availability
40
Q

Online dating: Anonimity/Invisibility (what are some factors?)

A
  • more self-awareness in interaction
  • less “informative” interaction
  • online dishinibition (more extreme positive and negative behaviors)
  • more (superficial) self-disclosure
41
Q

Online dating: (a)synchronicity

A
  • more control over self-presentation
  • more idealization of other
42
Q

Online dating: Availability

A
  • more availability of potential partners
    > larger pools of possibilities -> may lead to the paradox of choice/choice stress
    > deliberation mindset (evaluating different options) instead of implementation mindset (effective and enjoyable pursuit of important goals)
  • more available information of potential partners
  • data matching and algorithms
    > spontaneous response to direct contact does not always match formulated preferences
43
Q

What are the benefits and disadvantages of online dating?

A

Benefits:
- more information
- less effort, less risk (invisible rejection)
- more control
- less uncertainty (about potential partner)
Disadvantages:
- choice stress
- idealization
- mindset effect
- less commitment
- more uncertainty (about partner)

44
Q

What are the benefits and disadvantages of technology in relationships?

A

Benefits:
- more contact during absence
- online routine and social identity
- better sex
Disadvantages:
- worse face to face contact
- jealousy
- new types of dysfunctional behavior
- permanent presence after break-up

45
Q

Can relationship satisfaction be predicted?

A
  • Social exchange theory
  • Equity theory
  • Rusbult commitment investment model
  • Reinforcement affect model
46
Q

Social exchange theory

A
  • add up all positives of relationship and subtract negatives
  • maximizing rewards and minimizing costs
  • comparison with ideal relationship and other possible relationships
    = if negatives outweight positives, less relationship satisfaction and termination can be predicted
47
Q

Equity theory

A
  • measure level of distress:
    > overbenefitting-> moderate distress
    > underbenefitting-> high distress
    > equity-> less distress
    = we want an equitable outcome, not just the best situation for us
48
Q

Rusbult commitment investment model

A
  • commitment emerges from:
    > satisfaction (recognition of affective, cognitive and behavioral rewards it offers)
    > investment in the relationship (that would be lost) + barriers that would make leaving the relationship difficult
    > quality of alternatives (recognition that alternative relationships would not offer same rewards)
  • it predicts relationship stability
  • this model is used to explain why some women stay in abusive relationship
49
Q

Reinforcement affect model

A
  • argues that people are attracted to one another through positive reinforcement
  • associating person with contextual factors
  • e.g. less appreciation for other person if we meet them in unpleasantly hot room
50
Q

What are the three different kinds of interdependence in a relationship?

A
  • affective interdependence
  • cognitive interdependence
  • behavioral interdependence
51
Q

Affective interdependence

A
  • key factor of close relationships
  • feelings of one person are related to feelings of partner
  • self-disclosure and intimacy
    > disclose information-> experience social support-> ability to deal with setbacks
    > self-disclosure more important in individualistic cultures than in collectivist cultures (explained by differences in relational mobility)
52
Q

Cognitive interdependence

A
  • partner is incorporated into self-concept
  • cognitive representation of self merges with that of partner (partner-knowledge becomes more like self-knowledge)
    > reduced effect of actor-observer differences in attribution (we make same kind of attribution to parters as we make for us)
    > attribute positive outcomes to partner, negative outcomes to environment (self-serving bias)
  • correlation between relationship satisfaction and general indication of bias
    > underestimation of satisfaction with previous relationship
    > overestimation of emotional impact of future break-up
53
Q

Behavioral interdependence

A
  • relationship closeness alters the way partners exchange rewards
  • partners reward each other to show affection and to make partner happy
  • mutual influence on decisions, activities and plans
  • in communal relationships, people are more concerned with each others wellfare than with exchanging rewards
54
Q

what is the difference in love in arranged vs “love” marriages?

A
  • love increases overtime in arranged marriages
  • love decreases overtime in “love”marriages
55
Q

Compannionate love

A
  • friendship based love
    > based on affection, trust and deep sense of friendsihp
56
Q

what is compannionate love determined by?

A
  • equity
  • proximity
  • reciprocal self-disclosure
57
Q

how does compannionate love develop?

A
  • slow but more sustainable development
  • could form the basis for the developing romantic love
58
Q

passionate/romantic love

A
  • intense attraction, sexual desire, euphoric feelings, …
  • fear and despair when things go wrong
  • related to reward structures in the brain (activation of same ventral areas for dopamine, cocaine, …)
  • excitement and arousal usually from surprise and uncertainty
  • characteristic of beginning of a relationship (less typical in later phases)
59
Q

what are some cultural differences in passionate love?

A
  • passion is seen as much less important in non-western countries (China, India)
  • e.g. many Chinese words for “love”carry negative connotations
60
Q

what are some characteristics of conflicts in relationships?

A
  • positive bias contribute to successful relationship
    > dissatisfied partners will attribute negative behavior pattern to person, and positive outcomes to external circumstances
  • commitment ensures more resilience
    > decrease in intimacy and satisfaction is related to decrease in commitment
    > negative cycle of conflict
  • secure attachment related to more positive reactions
    > these individuals are more prone to constructive accomodation
61
Q

how does attachment style influence the way partners give and receive support?

A
  • study: woman was told she would undergo anxiety-provoking experiment, and was shown dark room
  • partner was then introduced into waiting room and the conversation was recorded
    1.1= secure and preoccupied women (seek intimacy) both seeked more support of were more scared
    1.2= dismissing and fearful women seeked less support of were more scared (and viceversa)
    2.1= securely attached men showed more support to partner who was more afraid
    2.2= dismissing and fearful men showed less support the more the partner was scared
62
Q

what are the two main factors that contribute to the development of a relationship?

A
  • Exchange of Rewards
  • Self-disclosure
63
Q

Exchange of Rewards

A
  • in voluntary relationships (friendships or romantic), each partner must receive benefits and rewards
    > if sporadic interaction: rewards are directly affecting both (eg if play tennis-> both enjoy tennis-> direct and reciprocal reward)
    > if more common interactions: direct exchange of rewards (eg one cooks and the other one cleans)
  • exchange relationships
64
Q

exchange relationships

A

people offer rewards in order to receive benefits in return

65
Q

what are the exchange rules in different relations

A
  • casual relationships:
    > equal exchange
    > keep track of benefits to self
    > you contribute only if you perceive that the other person is also going to contribute
  • deeper relationships
    > share benefits equally
    > don’t keep track of benefits
    > assumption that partner would do the same in the relationship
66
Q

what does a change in exchange of rewards signal?

A
  • it signals important transition in deepening or development fo friendships
  • e.g. if someone pays for your dinner but you pay him back as soon as possible, it might signal that you don’t want a deeper relationship
67
Q

Self-disclosure

A
  • facts about one’s life, situation, thoughts, feelings and emotions
  • depth and bredth increases as relationship develops
  • it increases liking but also uncertainty and discomfort when it’s too much
  • fulfills connectedness (both giving it and receiving it)
68
Q

Norm of reciprocity

A
  • we should respond with sharing
  • works also for self-disclosure
69
Q

what are the gender differences in self-disclosure?

A
  • women self-disclose more than men
  • if men self-disclose in relationship, it can be an attempt to depeer the relationship
  • reaction to self-disclosure is fundamental
70
Q

Close relationship

A

relationship involving strong and frequent interdependence in many domains of life

71
Q

Love

A

thoughts, feelings and actions that occur when a person wishes to enter or maintain a close relationship with a specific person

72
Q

what study demonstated the link between partner and self?

A
  • people rated whether each of a number of trait words terms described themselves
  • record the amount of time they took to respond to each item
  • compare the speed of responding for traits on which participants
    had previously rated themselves as similar vs different to their spouses
  • slower time in rating traits where they thought they were different from their spouse
    = slow process of assessing personal characteristic if it differ from partner
73
Q

communal relationship

A

relationship in which people reward their partner out of direct concern and to show caring

74
Q

Shift from an exchange to a
communal orientation marks an important transition point to a close relationship - what study proves it?

A
  • participants divided up a set amount of money
    between themselves and another person
    -> people gave themselves considerably more than they gave to a stranger
    -> gave the friend about the same amount
    as they gave themselves (even when the friend would
    not know the source of the money)
    = people want to benefit a close friend just as
    much as they want to benefit themselves
75
Q

what happens when rewards are seens as accruing to one partner more than to other?

A
  • social comparisons may stop the relationship from going forward
  • e.g. if comparing better rewards that your partner gets at same job that you also have
76
Q

what is the gender difference in valuing relationships?

A
  • men value relationships as a source of social standing and mastery
  • women value relationships for the sharing, intimacy and connectedness they provide
77
Q

Intimacy

A
  • positive emotional bond that includes understanding and support
  • most central reward in close relationship
  • leads to great psychological wellbeing
  • ps women’s close relationships are more intimate than men’s
78
Q

how does intimacy develop?

A
  1. reciprocating emotional and personal self-disclosures
  2. responsiveness to self-disclosure
  3. feeling of closeness and increase in perceived value and self-esteem
79
Q

Commitment

A
  • combined forces that hold the partners together in an enduring relationship
  • involves strong emotional bond and dedication to maintaining the relationship for a long term
80
Q

Attachment styles

A
  • people’s basic securely attached, avoidant or anxious orientation toward others in close relationships
  • both nature and nurture
  • two dimensions:
    > extent to which people seek or avoid intimacy with others’
    > extent to which they are anxious about being abandoned by others
81
Q

what are the four attachments styles?

A
  • secure attachment (not afraid of intimacy and abandonment)
  • dismissive attachment (feel good about themselves but do not trust others; avoid intimacy)
  • preoccupied attachment (want intimacy but scared of no reciprocity; constantly anticipate threats)
  • fearful attachment (anxiety about abandonment and fear of intimacy; sensitive to rejection)
82
Q

how can relationships be threatened?

A
  • interdependence leads to disagreements
  • external factors, social norms and real or perceived presence of rivals can trigger relationship difficulties
83
Q

what do the seeked qualities of a partner depend on?

A
  • social context of a relationship
  • e.g. whether it is short-term or long-term
84
Q

accomodation

A

process of responding to a negative action by the partner

85
Q

how can conflicts be handled?

A
  • constructively or destructively
  • many resources afford contructive responses-> these responses lead to a better relationship outcome
  • if attempts to respond constructively fails-> conflict escalates-> leads to decline in intimacy and commitment
86
Q

When is constructive accomodation more likely?

A
  • couples with secure attachment style (more confident in confronting partner and solving conflict)
  • couples high in commitment (eg more likely to forgive transgressions and change own behavior)
  • idealization of partner and relationship (less conflict if more positive illusion of partner)
  • beliefs about relationships (eg if you think that you are destined to be together)
87
Q

article - study disproving that opposites attract

A
  • participants were asked to rank importance of 10 characteristics they look for in a long-term mate (eg appearance, wealth, …)
  • participants ranked themselves on same characteristics
    = rankings where highly associated
  • criticism: this study is based on self-reports, and often people want different things they say they want
  • criticism: what someone wants in a partner does not change the attraction felt