Scene 5

Question 1

[start of scene]

Answer 1

um, excuse me mr…

Question 2

i assumed it was for just anyone

Answer 2

it wasn’t actually but i guess it doesn’t matter now, you kind of did me a favor. i have another one anyway. do you have your resume?

Question 3

i didn’t bring one

Answer 3

you came to an interview and didn’t bring your resume?

Question 4

probably already printed

Answer 4

eammon with an e?

Question 5

bonus structure, raises?

Answer 5

woah there bud. we can discuss that after seeing if you’re an appropriate candidate

Question 6

how much money i can make here

Answer 6

well, as it stated in the posting, starting salary is commensurate with experience and ranges from 30k to 45k annually

Question 7

holiday bonus. biannual raises

Answer 7

loof, if you’re hired we can discuss all of that but at this point…

Question 8

50k to start or i walk

Answer 8

well, at this point i’m not even authorized to offer above the standard…

Question 9

i’m out

Answer 9

please, can’t we at least look over your qualifications and finish the interview? I really need to hire someone today

Question 10

60k because you’re desperate

Answer 10

i’m sorry, i can’t just arbitrarily make offers above our median salary range without discussing it with management

Question 11

…somewhere i can’t decide my own worth

Answer 11

you’re being a bit ridiculous don’t you think?

Question 12

i might need it for the next place

Answer 12

um, sure i guess?

Question 13

your apple was mealy

Answer 13

i’m never going to find a decent candidate at this rate. you know what, if i’m going to get fired anyway i’m gonna take my damn lunch. fuck your stupid apple lou.