Scene 3 Flashcards

cues for scene 3

1
Q

knock knock

A

hey beth. you’re in early today

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
2
Q

shake things up a bit

A

you overachiever you

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
3
Q

to gossip around the water cooler

A

I thought you only drank your special spring water filtered through volcanic rock and perfectly kept to temp in your pink stanley cup

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
4
Q

make sure you aren’t taking yourself too seriously

A

i only take myself as seriously as i have to

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
5
Q

you’re wound more tightly than a mallard’s dick

A

beth

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
6
Q

virginia

A

i work in HR. please don’t walk about duck penises or any penises while we’re at work

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
7
Q

you wouldn’t get through the day without me

A

please get out of my office

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
8
Q

see you at lunch

A

obviously

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
9
Q

love you [beth exits, ethan enters]

A

hello. may i help you

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
10
Q

i’m here for the interview

A

oh? i don’t have an interview for another, 30 minutes

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
11
Q

nice office. yours?

A

yes actually

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
12
Q

we’ll see about that

A

excuse me?

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
13
Q

maybe one with a window

A

well, if i can get this position filled maybe i can talk to my boss

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
14
Q

i’m ethan by the way

A

virginia. it’s nice to meet you ethan

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
15
Q

i can never get mine to grow

A

um thank you? i just use some lavender stuff my boyfriend joel gave me

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
16
Q

how long have you been together

A

a while. it’s actually complicated. and frankly none of your business

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
17
Q

i’d love to get some for myself

A

sure, i suppose. why don’t you have a seat and i’ll find your paperwork… um sorry that’s actually my seat. you can have a seat over there

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
18
Q

pretty please

A

no i don’t think so. please just have a seat over there. did you bring your resume?

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
19
Q

ugh fine here

A

so ethan, why do you want to work at crossroads?

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
20
Q

i don’t

A

excuse me?

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
21
Q

i don’t want to work here

A

i don’t understand. if you don’t want to work here then why are you at this interview?

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
22
Q

that way the checks keep coming

A

checks?

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
23
Q

act like i’m trying to find a job

A

so you aren’t actually interested in the hr position i’m currently interviewing you for

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
24
Q

free coffee in the breakroom

A

sir you’re being incredibly inappropriate. i’m actually trying to fill this position. and now you’ve taken an interview slot from a candidate that actually wants the job

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
25
nothing left but an agreeable husk
it seems like you've wanted everything in this building except the one thing i have to offer you. have you ever actually had a job?
26
why would i do that
to contribute? be a productive member of society? have a sense of accomplishment? be self sufficient?
27
hahahahah
you think that's funny?
28
and be one of the elite
my contributions absolutely matter
29
how long have you worked here?
well about 5,6, you know, i'm actually not sure. i got hired in june because i remember it was unseasonably hot. it was right after i split with.. you know what, no. i'm the one doing the interviewing, not you. and i happen to like being a healthy responsible contributor to society
30
wanna see my tats
no
31
this is an apple
you know what ethan i think we're done here. you've wasted enough of my time
32
those other schmucks in the lobby
mr. asp. please leave
33
we were having such a nice time
no. no we weren't
34
wanna see how i eat a kiwi
security!
35
i showed up for the interview
ugh fine
36
i wanted the jelly
get a job in hr they said. it'll be fun they said. you'll have a bit of control in the company. i guess i can make sure douche canoes like that don't get hired here. Waterbed? what is this, 1995? when this is over i'm asking for a raise
37
how are the interviews going
well we haven't exactly found the right candidate yet, but we have several still to go through so i'm sure we'll find someone
38
run like a well lubed apparatus
um. well oiled machine?
39
what's that you say
the phrase is a well oiled machine
40
i think that's what i said
no, what you said sounded more icky
41
what's icky sounding about apparatus
that's not the part that, you know what? never mind.
42
it seemed like you had something to say
you just have to think more about wording before you speak. or it can come off, badly
43
caray was talking about an actual cow
you're right. i'm sorry. i'm just frustrated. all of these candidates have been terrible. that last one straight up told me he didn't want to be here
44
i actually appreciate the honesty
you appreciate the honesty?
45
not you when you're hungry
apples are supposed to be for teachers aren't they?
46
for all occasions
thanks but i'm actually allergic. i break out in hives. it's a whole thing.
47
it's delicious
no thank you lou
48
i'm probably biased
i'm sorry i just. i tell you what, i'd really appreicate it if you'd send the next person in. it would be very helpfu. and you can leave the apple. i might need a snack later
49
and acts of service
un, love? oh wow i don't
50
who's up next?
un looks like belpha gordon
51
filipino maybe
what? i don't think so?
52
go for some good lumpia
see now that's inapproriate, i'm the head of hr. why does no one think about that before they say things to me
53
[belpha enters]
hello. make yourself comfortable
54
always
belpha, am i pronouncing that correctly?
55
yeppers
great, belpha, thank you for coming in today. i'm looking over your resumer and it says here you specialize in employee efficiency maintenance and task reduction services. can you tell me a little more about that?
56
or be eliminated altogether
interesting. can you give me an example?
57
life portion of my work life balance
discord and AI? i'm not sure i understand. can you elaborate?
58
and otherwise resolve conflicts
so you would in essense delegate another department to create an app of sorts that would do all the work of an hr manager while you do, what?
59
or wearing pants
while that sounds like a, creative solution, this job really requires someone with excellent interpersonal skills and a fair amount of face to face communication. some things just can't be done by a machine
60
we could eliminate jobs altogether
i have to ask, why would you interview for a position you're hoping to eliminate?
61
someone always has to keep watch
i guess that makes sense. but then you have to actually intervene when something goes wrong
62
in my pjs
so you'd just watch the chaos from your invention and never intervene
63
i appreciate the model
your boss at E cloud securities?
64
going full remote after the last fall
last fall, you mean fall 2023?
65
sure
and how was that
66
or put on real pants for months
that sounds... depressing
67
no unpaid overtime because you're salary
i'm sorry ms gordon but hr really requires a lot more... presence. both physical and mental. perhaps you'd be suited more for a position in IT?
68
off then on again
you'd actually be surprised at how often that works. but, you know what, thanks for coming in but i just don't think it's a good fit
69
i could have made things a lot easier for you around here
i love my job, i love my job, i love my job, i need my job, i need my job