Positive traits, values and attitudes - Forgiveness Flashcards
religion preaches forgiveness, but this is strange because it also preaches…
doing bad things to people who have done bad things to you
- Idea of revenge is also deeply entrenched in our psychology and religious dogmas
how does enright define forgiveness?
- what is different about his view
: a willingness to abandon one’s right to resentment, negative judgment and indifferent behaviour toward one who unjustly hurt us, while fostering the undeserved qualities of compassion, generosity, and even love toward him or her
difference: only for living people
how does thompson et al., define forgiveness?
esponses to the transgressor are transformed from negative to neutral/positive. The source of transgression may be oneself, another person or persons, or a situation (e.g., an illness, … or a natural disaster)
• The most expansive
how does McCullough define forgivenenss?
forgiveness reflects increases in prosocial motivation toward another such that there is (1) less desire to harm the transgression person, (2) increased desire to act positively toward the transgressing person
how does Tangney et al define forgiveness?
a cognitive-affective transformation - victim makes a realistic assessment and freely chooses to ‘cancel the debt’, giving up revenge …overcomes feelings of resentment and anger for the act. In short, by forgiving, the harmed individual…essentially removed himself or herself from the victim role
- Benefit to the mental health of the forgiver
What is forgiveness ( forgiveness as a… 3 things)
1) Forgiveness as a response
• Feelings, cognitions, behaviours, become less negative, more prosocial
• Change from negative to positive in our responses, thoughts, behaviours towards the person or situation
2) Forgiveness as personal disposition
• Tendency to forgive others across range of situations
• Measurable tendency → example, trait gratitude, trait forgiveness
3) Forgiveness as characteristic of social units
• Families higher in forgiveness than other units
• Within families/groups → higher tendency to forgive
What is forgiveness ( forgiveness as a… 3 things)
1) Forgiveness as a response
• Feelings, cognitions, behaviours, = less negative, more prosocial
2) Forgiveness as personal disposition
• Tendency to forgive others across range of situations
• Measurable tendency → trait gratitude, trait forgiveness
3) Forgiveness as characteristic of social units
• Families higher in forgiveness than other units
what ISN’T forgiveness? (is not… 5 things)
1) Not condoning • Finding justification for the offense 2) Not excusing • Believer offender has defensible reason for offense 3) Not pardoning • Escaping legal sanctions for offense 4) Not reconciliation • Repairing relationship with offender •may come as a result 5) Not forgetting or denying
how can unforgiveness be a stress reaction
> what similar physiological states does it evoke
>what is trait forgiveness associated with
(McCullough)
- It feels stressful
• BP, HR, EMG similar to anger in imagined unforgiveness
• Anger reduces prefrontal activity (executive functions), increases limbic activity (e.g., amygdala)
• Trait forgiveness (general tendency to be forgiving) associated with reduced levels of stress hormone cortisol (HPA axis)
• Blood chemistry similar during unforgiveness and stress
- It creates similar moods and mental states
LOOK AT DIAGRAMS
DIAGRAMS
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stress reaction dealt with by emotional replacement - replaced by what positive emotions? (LISTEN)
- Empathy → understanding the transgressors emotions
- Sympathy
- Compassion → Buddhist philosophy, one of the major virtues, caring about someone else deeply and completely even if there is no justification for that compassion
- Altruistic love → love that doesn’t require any return, giving despite not getting any return or justification
How do we measure Forgiveness?
1) Heartland Forgiveness Scale (HFS) – Rick Snyder: 18 items, 7-point Likert scale, both self- other- and situation- forgiveness
2) Transgressions-Related Interpersonal Motivations Inventory (TRIMS) - McCullough: 12 items Likert scale, rates revenge and avoidance→ reacting to a specific transgression in your life,
3) Enright Forgiveness Inventory (EFI): state forgiveness, 60 items in 3, 20-item subscales. 6-alternative Likert. Fill in the blank
WHat is state forgiveness?
STATE UNFORGIVENESS in the context of a PARTICULAR transgression
• I’ll make him pay
Enright Forgiveness Inventory (EFI) has what three subscales
- Affect subscale: I feel _____ toward him or her → warm; negative; kindness; happy; hostile; unloving
- Behaviour subscale: regarding him, I do or would ______ → stay away; do a favour; put him down; avoid; ignore
- Cognition subscale: I think he or she is ______ → dreadful; loving; worthless; nice
List the 6 stages of the Enright et. al (1989) ‘s development of forgiveness linked to various levels of development
- Stage 1: punishment and obedience
- Stage 2: instrumental relativist
- Stage 3: interpersonal concordance
- Stage 5: social contract
- Stage 6: interpersonal concordance (universal ethics) → nobody at this level
What happens in Stage 1: punishment and obedience
- Revengeful forgiveness: forgiveness only appropriate after revenge obtained
- Restitution not until the individual has achieved revenge
- Revenge is a requisite for forgiveness
what happens in stage 2: instrumental relativist
- Restitutional forgiveness: forgiveness only appropriate after restitution made
- Anything that serves my needs or the needs of someone else I care about is morally acceptable if it helps me in achieving my goals
- Forgiveness is not appropriate until the victim has received restitution or compensation for the wrong that has been done to them
What happens in stage 3: interpersonal concordance
- Expectation forgiveness: forgive because society expects it
- Morals based on conventions: standards for what constitutes morally acceptable behaviour
- Whatever is pleasing to others, what people expect of you (form of convention), and expect that you can do in a particular situation
- Forgiveness done because some group of individuals expects that of you
what happens at stage 4: law and order
- Lawful forgiveness: forgiveness when religion demands it
- What’s moral is what is permissible by law → that is the only rule
- With respect to forgiveness there are no laws that require forgiveness, individual forgives only when and if their religious beliefs require it
what happens at stage 5: social contract
- Forgiveness when it restores harmony or good relations in society
- Comes from individuals own internal judgments about what is morally acceptable
- What is good for society as a whole as understood by the individual → moral
- Forgiveness is appropriate only when it promotes or restores harmony
what happens at stage 6: interpersonal concordance (universal ethics)
- Forgive unconditionally because it promotes a true sense of love
- Identification with respect to Maslow’s and Rodgers’: identification with broad
- Broad personally accepted standards with what is good for humanity in general
- Forgiveness is engaged in as it promotes unconditional love, compassion, altruism
what did mauger et al. find about the personalities of forgivers
forgivers less depressed, anxious, hostile
• Negatively related to neuroticism
• Less aggressive
what did Metts & Cupach (1998) find about the personalities of forgivers
forgivers less ruminative
• Rumination: stress based model of unforgiveness, what happens when you see transgression as a threat
• Classic characteristic of depression
what did Davidson (1993) find about the personalities of forgivers
forgivers less narcissistic
• Less wrapped up in themselves
what did Tangle et al (1999) find about the personalities of forgivers
forgivers less hostile, angry, exploitative, inadequate; more empathic, more understanding of the feelings of others
what did McCullough et al (1999) find about the personalities of forgivers
forgiveness related positively to Agreeableness and negatively to Neuroticism
- Also a slight positive relationship between forgiveness and extroversion → relationship is not very strong and does not rise to the statistical levels of significance
what are the 3 social factors that affect the likelihood of forgiveness
1) Seriousness of offense
• Examples → offense very serious and yet forgiveness was offered
2) Intentionality of offender
• Someone can do you harm without intending to do you harm
• What determines punishment are the negative consequences that ensue
• If they intended no harm → likely to result in forgiveness
3) Presence or absence of apology
• If the offender apologizes we are much more likely to forgive their offense
• Reduce negative affect toward offender, increasing empathy
• Perhaps help separate offender from offence
• 2009 law re apologies in Ontario → ex.: hospital commits an error that leads to harm, previously could not apologize as it could be seen as a sign of guilt, now you can no longer present as evidence an apology as a sign of guilt, proportion of people who sue has dropped
what is state forgiveness related to :
- Lower negative affect
* Fewer psychological symptoms: anxiety and depression
what is type A?
(driven, aggressive, assertive, outgoing, tend to be at higher risk for cardiovascular problems)
type A patients were given CBT for hostility vs. standard cardiology treatment - what happened
- CBT showed lower hostility
- Greater reduction in heart problems
- Patients indicate forgiveness key to improvement
what happens when university students imagine forgiving or unforgiving responses to real-life offenses
- Two groups
- Solicite information about real life transgressions that others had commited towards them
- One group: imagine forgiving attitude
- Second group: imagine the transgression in an unforgiving way, relive it, hurt
- Forgivers have lower BP, HR, GSR (anxiety response)
- Forgivers have less negative affect
- Forgivers have higher levels of perceived control, agency, autonomy
- Certainly responsible for cardiovascular response, anxiety, levels of depression, immune system
what is Worthington’s REACH Model
- Interventions/counselling programs
- Group intervention
- Recall transgression in supportive environment
• Stop avoiding consideration of transgression
• Come to grips with what has happened to you - Empathize with the transgressor
• Imagine, write offender’s thoughts, reasons (non-negative, non-threatening reasons)
• Write an essay in which they describe positive reasons for the transgression
• Remember, imagine, good times with offender → if you already know the offender, imagine interacting in a positive context
• Deep breathing, relax, damps down sympathetic nervous system, engages PSNS that aids with relaxation - Altruistic gift of forgiveness → offender hasn’t done anything to deserve forgiveness
• Instill humility; remember own transgressions → think about times when you have been forgiven
• Recall own release through forgiveness
• Invite forgiveness of other - Commit to emotional forgiveness experienced
• Make a public commitment to forgive the offender, done in the context of the group
• Make internal emotional forgiveness public
• Write certificate, letter, of forgiveness
• Read letter to therapy group
• Consider sending letter to offender → encouraged but not required - Hold onto forgiveness despite doubts → common but not necessary
• Doubts after the process
• Recalling hurt not same as unforgiveness → not the same as recanting forgiveness, you will always remember the event
• Don’t attempt conscious block of emotions
• May need to go through the steps about
• Emotion, anger management techniques
• Re-examine forgiveness letter
• Work through REACH steps again - Generally successful
- Improvement in mental and physical health
what are some sucessful forgiveness interventions
- Good for forgiver and the forgiven
- Multiple methods to reduce unforgiveness → number of different pathways; increases forgiveness
- Commitment to forgiveness → power of commitment in changing our behaviour and attitudes
- Empathy or positive emotions toward other → focus on the emotions/feelings toward the transgressor, not just about changing our behaviour and cognition
- Worthington believes there are two other things that characterize a successful forgiveness intervention:
• Promoting altruistic attitude
Generalizing to increase forgiveness → promoting trait forgiveness
How do we measure Forgiveness?
1) Heartland Forgiveness Scale (HFS) – Rick Snyder: 18 items, 7-point Likert scale, both self- other- and situation- forgiveness
2) Transgressions-Related Interpersonal Motivations Inventory (TRIMS) - McCullough: 12 items Likert scale, rates revenge and avoidance→ reacting to a specific transgression in your life,
3) Enright Forgiveness Inventory (EFI): state forgiveness, 60 items in 3, 20-item subscales. 6-alternative Likert. Fill in the blank
4) Multidementional forgiveness inventory (MFI) 16 transgression scenarios by or against self; 72 items; 9 subscales
what are the 9 subscales of the Multidementional forgiveness inventory (MFI)
propensity to forgive oneself propensity to forgive others propensity to ask for forgiveness propensity to blame self propensity to blame others time to forgive self time to forgive others sensitivity to hurt feelings anger pronesness
What is state forgiveness?
STATE UNFORGIVENESS in the context of a PARTICULAR transgression
• I’ll make him pay
