Personality and Social Relationships

Question 1

Personality and Relationships, Attraction Similarity Theory?

Answer 1

Assortative Mating
We’re attracted to people like us

Question 2

Personality and Relationships, Complementary Needs theory?

Answer 2

– We’re attracted to people whose personality complements ours
– Opposites Attract

Question 3

What do people want (in personality traits) in a relationship?

Answer 3

A pretty high correlation between the self’s personality and preferred partner personality

Question 4

What do people actually get in relationships? (partner’s personality traits)

Answer 4

No support for Complemantarty Needs Theory

Some (weak) evidence for assortative mating, on intelligence

Question 5

Is similarity related to relationship satisfaction?

Answer 5

• Couples with similar personality traits are not necessarily more satisfied in their relationship.
• But, if partner is similar to your “ideal personality” then relationship satisfaction is higher

Question 6

What makes an “ideal” partner? Which traits do people want in a partner?

Answer 6

Both males and females want mutual affection/love, dependable, emotional stability, and a pleasing disposition.

However, women care more about education/intelligence and men care more about good health.

Question 7

What are the less important traits for men and women?

Answer 7

Women:
- Similar religion
- Similar political views
- Chasity

Men:
- Chasity
- Similar religion
- Similar political views

Question 8

Which traits actually relate to relationship satisfaction?

Answer 8

Overall:
– Husband: A, ES = emotional Stability, O/I = Openness/Intelligence (in wife)
– Wife: A, C, ES, O/I (in husband)

Confide:
– Husband: A (in wife)
– Wife: A, ES, O/I (in husband)

Sexual:
– Husband: A, C, ES (in wife)
– Wife: A (in husband)

Enjoyment:
– Husband: A, ES (in wife)
– Wife: A, ES (in husband)

Question 9

More on Assortative Mating? Reference Group Effect

Answer 9

Many studies show little personality similarity between partners, rs typically below .10

But, self-reported personality may be biased due to reference group effect
- When judging our own personality, we compare ourselves to people we spend time with
– These people tend to be like us
– As a result, our self-rated personality may seem more different from our partner’s than is accurate

Question 10

What if we measure personality with behavior, instead of self-report?

Answer 10

Avoids reference group problem

• Study Mesured Facebook likes and language in posts which predicts Big 5 traits
• Can be used to more reliably measure similarity in B5 between partners

Results: Demonstrate a stronger correlation in personality traits than self-reports -> There is good evidence for assortative mating

Question 11

Which traits predict future relationship quality and conflict? (Lonitudinal study assessed 3 traits)

Answer 11

– Positive Emotionality (PEM): Confidence, enthusiasm, social warmth, well-being, and zest
– Negative Emotionality (NEM): Threshold for negative emotions such as anxiety, anger, fear
– Constraint (CON): Self-control, harm avoidance, and endorsement of social norms

Results: Persoanlity early on (18) can effect later realionship satisfaction (26)

Question 12

How do emotions expressions relate to sexual attractiveness?

Answer 12

The most attractive is the man showing pride and a women showing happiness

Question 13

Happiness is the most attractive female emotion expression and one of the Least attractive when shown by men AND?

Answer 13

Also the opposite!

Pride is the most attractive male emotional expression and one of the least attractive when shown by women

Question 14

Which emotional expression is seen as attractive by both genders?

Answer 14

Shame is attractive when shown by both genders

But it’s not an evolutionary trait or cross-culturally (India) Exclusively an American phenomenon (Bad guy who feels guilty about it)

Question 15

Expression of emotions in relationships? (Gottman & Levenson)

Answer 15

Newlywed couples engaged in conflict discussion while videotaped
- Videotapes coded for emotional responses, style of interaction (observational data)
- Physiological measures (Test-data)
- Couples members rate patterns; relationship satisfaction (Informant data) and own satisfaction (Self-data)

Couples followed up to 5 years later
Divorce could be predicted from the data, with 83% accuracy

Question 16

Four Main Factors that Predict Divorce? 1. Criticism vs. Complaint

Answer 16

Criticism: Global statement of anger, displeasure, distress, or other negativity, tends to be blaming (e.g., “You never take me anywhere.”)
– Complaint: specific statement of anger, displeasure, distress, or other negativity (e.g., “We don’t go out as much as I would like to”)

Criticisms (but not complaints) predict divorce
Escalation of negative affect is very bad
– De-escalation of negative affect (e.g., through humor) is very good

Question 17

Four Main Factors that Predict Divorce? 2. Contempt

Answer 17

Contempt: Insult, mockery, sarcasm, or
derision of the other person.

– Includes disapproval, judgment, disdain, exasperation, mockery, put-downs, or communicating that the other person is absurd or incompetent

Question 18

Four Main Factors that Predict Divorce? 3. Defensiveness

Answer 18

Defensiveness: Attempt to protect one’s
self from perceived attack

– May include denial of responsibility, counterblame, or whine
– May be a response to “Mindreading”
Attribution of motives, feelings, or behaviors made by one partner to the other partner
Example: “You always get tense in situations like this.”
“No I don’t. You are the one who always gets tense!”

Question 19

Four Main Factors that Predict Divorce? 4. Stonewalling

Answer 19

Stonewalling: The listener presents a “stone wall” to his/her partner.
– No small “assenting” vocalizations like “mmmm’ or “yeah”
– No head nods; neck is rigid
– There is little gaze at the speaker
– Little facial movement, but when there is it is negative
– 85% of stonewallers are male

Question 20

Overall findings of the 4 predictors of divorce?

Answer 20

What distinguishes satisfied and dissatisfied couples is not how frequently they conflict, but the way in which negative feelings are expressed during conflicts.

Disagreements are not more common among dissatisfied couples, but dissatisfied couples more likely to express disagreement with negative affect.

A 5:1 ratio of positive interactions to negative
interactions is characteristic of a good marriage
– ONE negative interaction can wipe out the effects of several positive interactions

Question 21

Negative emotions are associated with high levels of physiological arousal for men, but not for women… results?

Answer 21

Men may avoid negative affect in relationships because it is more physiologically punishing (That is way more men stonewall -> avoiding the conflict and the arousal)

Emotionally, men experience lower levels of negative affect than women