Moment 21

Question 1

Presley: The sky is black. A sheet of dark cloud obscures… everything. No… no comets. Nothing. And the corner shop is… The whole world is… Black sky, black earth, black nothing… No heaven visible.

Answer 1

Cosmo: Pitchfork Cavalier, meet Mr Chocolate.

Pitchfork holds out his hand for Presley to shake.

Cosmo: Shake his hand, then.

Presley stares nervously at Pitchfork.

Cosmo: He wants you to shake his hand.

Question 2

Presley: Don’t… don’t get many visitors. Forget what to do.

Answer 2

Cosmo: You shake hands.

Question 3

Presley: Didn’t shake your hand.

Answer 3

Cosmo: Well, I don’t like touching. Told you that. But Pitch here… oh, he relishes physical contact. Intimacy is second nature to him. Go on. Shake his hand. Don’t want to offend him, do you?

He shakes it quickly, then steps back.

Cosmo: Call that a handshake?

Question 4

Presley: What d’you mean?

Answer 4

Cosmo: That weren’t a handshake, Mr Chocolate. That was a hand touch. Now, shake his hand properly before you upset him.

Question 5

Presley: But I -

Answer 5

Cosmo: Do it! Three times up and three times down! That’s what I call a real handshake. Do it! Do it!

Cosmo counts each one -

Cosmo: One…! Two…! Three…!

Question 6

Presley: His hands are very soft.

Answer 6

Cosmo: Baby-soft, you might say?

Question 7

Presley: Yeah.

Answer 7

Cosmo: And that’s just what he is! A big, contented baby.

Question 8

Presley: I’ve already shaken his hands.

Answer 8

Cosmo: He knows that, Mr Chocolate! He wants you to look at his hands now. To show you how soft they really are.

Question 9

Presley: But I’ve looked.

Answer 9

Cosmo: Look again!

Question 10

Presley: Yeah. They do look soft. Does he use cream?

Answer 10

Cosmo: Never! What an idea, Mr Chocolate. You absolutely sure you ain’t a homosexual?

Question 11

Presley: No.

Answer 11

Cosmo: No you ain’t or no you’re ain’t sure?

Question 12

Presley: No I … ain’t.

Answer 12

Cosmo: Well, you do make me wonder sometimes. Hand cream indeed! We’re working boys. What would he want hand cream for?

Question 13

Presley: … So what does he do?

Answer 13

Cosmo: He works with me. I told you. We’re associates.

Question 14

Presley: Does he… eat things as well?

Answer 14

Cosmo: No. He don’t have to. Not with a face like his.

Question 15

Presley: What’s wrong with his face?

Answer 15

Cosmo: Oh, it’s… what can I say…? How can I describe it?… Imagine your nightmare, Mr Chocolate.

Question 16

Presley: … Yeah.

Answer 16

Cosmo: Now multiply it by the number of stars in the universe. That’s how bad his face is.