Moment 11 Flashcards
Presley: I’ve got a photograph. Of us as children. I’ll show you.
Cosmo: What your parents die of? Car crash?
Presley: No.
Cosmo: Cancer?
Presley: No.
Cosmo: Strokes?
Presley: No.
Cosmo: Heart attacks?
Presley: No.
Cosmo: Kidney failure?
Presley: No.
Cosmo: Sexually transmitted disease?
Presley: NO. Mum and Dad? No!
Cosmo: It can easily happen, you know. I’ve seen photographs of what happens to people when they fall in love. Their skin falls off. Like they’ve been in a nuclear war or something. It’s terrible, Mr Chocolate … You ever been in love?
Presley: I loved Mum and Dad.
Cosmo: That don’t count. Anyone else?
Presley: My sister.
Cosmo: That doesn’t count either. Don’t play games.
Presley: I’m not playing games.
Cosmo: Yes, you are.
Presley: Oh no, I’m not.
Cosmo: Oh, yes, you are.
Presley: Oh no, I’m not.
Cosmo: … Have you ever been in love with a woman other than family members?
Presley: … Don’t suppose so, no.
Cosmo: What? Never?
Presley: No.
Cosmo: You’ve fucked women though, right?
Presley: … Not really.
Cosmo: What d’you mean ‘not really’? There’s no grey area where fucking’s concerned.
Presley: You swear too much.
Cosmo: Jesus Christ.
Presley: And don’t say Jesus.
…
Say three million Hail Marys and rub ashes in your hair.
Cosmo: Tell me! Right now! Have you ever fucked a woman!
Presley: No!
Slight pause.
Cosmo: Ever snagged a woman?
Presley: No.
Slight pause.
Cosmo: Ever done it with a man?
Presley: No.
Cosmo: You better tell me if you have. I bet that’s why you helped me. Because I’m a perfect pretty boy without a filling in my head.
Presley: I have never done it with a man.
Slight pause.
Cosmo: Ever wanted to?
Presley: No!
Cosmo: Sure?
Presley: Yes.
Cosmo: … All right then.
Cosmo sits and glances at Haley.
Presley follows his look, then hands him one photograph at a time as -
Cosmo: I hate being touched by men. It happens everywhere these days. In pubs. Trains. Buses. Supermarkets.
They come up behind you and rub their hands over your backside. Or they stand next to you. Stand so close that their knee touches your knee.
When you buy something in a shop and the shopkeeper gives you change - if it’s a man, he always makes sure he touches your hand. You noticed that? His fingers linger in your palm, feeling you, stroking you almost.
Women don’t do that. Women don’t want to touch. Most women just slam change down on the counter and leave it there for you to pick up. No finger contact there. But men….
Oh, men are different. I hate being touched by men. And they all love to do it. It’s because I look younger than I am. They think they can get away with it. They think I’m just a boy. All men like schoolboys.
That’s why I never use a public toilet. Once, when I was standing at a urinal, this bloke stood beside me and actually leaned over to look at my cock. Can you believe that? I’d rather piss myself than have a homosexual see my cock.
They should be gassed. All of them. Or herded into one place. Like a big stadium. Have a bomb dropped on them. Do everyone a fucking favor.
It’s not that I’m narrow-minded or anything. We’ve all got a right to live. But we ain’t got a right to stare at each other’s private parts.
