Learning Unit 5 Flashcards
Conflict Management, Listening and Response Skills
Listening process
Hearing- psychological process where sound waves carried to brain, equate listening to hearing but they are interchangeable, barriers: physiological learning difficulties eg deaf, auditory fatigue: temporary loss of hearing due to continual loud noise, physical noise: any noise makes it difficult to hear eg loud crowd
Attending- process of filtering out messages and deciding what to focus on, 3 modes: competitive, attention and reflective
Understanding- share of meaning took place, poor listeners hear but dont understand and is affected by culture and religion, improve by asking for clarification, paraphrase, empathize and dont make assumptions
Remembering- short term: remember 5 things at one time, results om forgetting and develop skills of retrieving information, long term: store significant and dramatic information and commit it to memory
Evaluating- judgement, listening critically, favts to support, evidence of contradictuon
Responding- depends on agree/disagree, how you feel, questions for clarity, respond while person is speaking or once they have stopped
Reasons for ineffective listening behaviour
Overload- cant attend to all information properly, result in stress, confusion, misinterpretation and withdrawal
Rapid thought process- process information 4x faster than person speaks results in day dreaming
Noise- any interference in communication, physical, emotional or physiological
Pseudo-listening- pretend to listen when thinking about other things
Prefer to speak than to listen
Judgement
Emotions- fear what people think, avoid people or topics, don’t listen to Bianca because might not like her
Habits- poor listening skills develop through socializing with close ones, zone out, jump to conclusions
Assimilation- construct messages to reflect own feelings or needs, hear what we want
Types of listening
For pleasure- stories, movies, relax us, get together to share
Discriminative- to understand and remember, in class, your boss
Critical- evaluate accuracy, Gomes in Neutrogena add, does she really use it?
Empathetic- aware and sensitive, communicates caring and acceptance
Ways to develop listening skills
Hearing better- choose a non noisy environment
Attend better- take time to listen, avoid fidgeting
Understand better- dont interrupt, be sympathetic, read between lines and ask questions
Remember better- take notes and identity key ideas
Evaluate better- distinguish facts from.opinion and give appropriate feedback
Appropriate responses
Questioning- to clarify facts, guidelines- use full and open ended questions
Interpretive- gain more perspective/context, guidelines- pay attention to speakers interpretation and show empathy
Paraphrasing- put in your own words, guidelines- match original meaning and use simple language
Supportive- sooths or confirms by showing understanding and offering empathy and validation, guidelines- demonstrate interest and consider both verbal and non verbal cues
Inappropriate responses
Irrelevant- changes subject, ignore speaker message or train of thought, overtly and covertly, speaker can question if you interested or listening
Tangential- move away from topic
Incongruous- refers to something not in harmony
Interrupting- violates turn taking
Judgmental- critique or belittle without empathy and consideration
Unsupportive- leaves speaker feeling as if feelings are ignored
Aggression theory
One person applying force or pressure to another person, 4 personality traits
Assertiveness- constructive, stand up for yourself and express feelings that doesn’t violate others
Argumentativeness- constructive, engaging in controversial topics and opposing beliefs, leader qualities and credible
Hostility- deconstructive, aggression or anger, irrigation, negativism, resentment and suspicion
Verbal aggressiveness- deconstructive, attempt to hurt someone with verbal abusive messages
Causes of conflict
Unclear expectations Unfulfilled needs Different personal views Defensive communication climate or negative company culture Cultural and language barriers Stereotyping Ineffective communication
Conflict management styles
Passive- do protect own rights and interests, allows intimidation and withdraws to conflict as easiest but least effective, YOU WIN, physical: turn back, go to another room, leave, pull away, psychological: silent treatment, cold shoulder, don’t voice opinion, surrender: afraid wont be liked so give in to others wishes, indirect communication: round the busy to prevent hostility but can be misinterpreted
Passive aggressive- seems to be passive but uses indirect forms of aggression, blaming, playing victim YOU THINK YOU WINNING BUT ILL SHOW YOU YOU LOSE, manipulation: cause trouble and others will be upset with you, sabotage: spread lies or gossip, misinterpret them and dont acknowledge their contributions
Aggressive- only concerned with own interests, controls others by intimidation, demands, insults, ridicule, sarcasm and threats I WIN, will work against aggresrif express empathy, point out humorous side and offer a sincere apology
Assertive- protect own rights without harming others, WE WIN, persuasion: they still have a choice but offer them something in return, compromise: each gives something up, cooperative confrontation: seperate problem from person and find a solution, descriptive evaluation not personal
Conflict management skills
Descriptive communication- I instead of you, idea opposition: question other ideas, person opposition: verbally attack
Recognise level of conflict- pseudo- not real yet but can be, joke taken seriously, content- disagree on message, value: contradict values, ego: person feels attacked
Managing emotions- venting is temporary, flag inner repsonses, take deep breaths
Monitoring non verbal behaviour
Apologise fo transgressions
Elements of effective apologies
Acknowledge offense and hurtful response- sorry I said you were crazy
Properly explain transgression- I don’t know about mental illnesses
Show remorse- sorry I hurt your feelings I feel awful
Communicate respect for person and restore dignity- I know mot crazy, you a great person
Assure them the offense wasn’t their fault- I said it because I didnt understand not because of you
Assure you won’t repeat offense- I wont call you crazu again
Promote adequate reparations- I’ll go research mental illnesses
Allow them to express how they suffer- tell me how I hurt you and how you felt
Assure you are still committed to shared values- still one of my best friends and I love talking to you
The game theory
Observing partners strategies and counter strategies in reaching a goal to minimize losses and maximize gains through competition and cooperation
1. Observe strategies and shift yours
Observe total conflict then make interferences
Direct communication requires you to communicate your intentions allowing other to weigh up and co operate
Pennington vs.umhlanga
