Intimate Relationships Flashcards
Why We Form Relationships
- Attraction
- Intimacy
- Rewards
Attraction
- Similarity and complementarity
- Reciprocal Attraction
- Competence
- Disclosure
- Proximity
Intimacy
- Dimensions of Intimacy
- Masculine and Feminine Intimacy Styles
- Cultural Influences on Intimacy
- The Limits of Intimacy
Rewards
Social Exchange Theory:
•We often seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them.
•Rewards – Costs = Outcomes
Models of Relational Development and Maintenance
- Developmental Models
- Dialectical Perspectives
Developmental Models
- Initiating
- Experimenting
- Intensifying
- Integrating
- Bonding
- Differentiating
- Circumscribing
- Stagnating
- Avoiding
- Terminating
Social Exchange Theory:
We often seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them.
Developmental Models: Relational Maintenance
communication aimed at keeping relationships operating smoothly and satisfactorily •Integrating •Bonding •Differentiating •Circumscribing
Developmental Models: Coming Together
- Initiating
- Experimenting
- Intensifying
Developmental Models: Coming Apart
- Stagnating
- Avoiding
- Terminating
“The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”
- Criticism versus Complaint
- Contempt
- Defensiveness
- Stonewalling
A complaint identifies specific action a criticism is global eg “you forgot to put gas in the car” vs “you never keep your word”
Criticism versus Complaint
A set of behaviours that communicate disgust eg eyerolling, sneering, name calling
Contempt
The behaviours send the message “it’s you, not me” –avoid any responsibilty
Defensiveness
As a result of the above one partner tunes out and acts as if they could not care less
Stonewalling
Dialectical Perspectives
- Connection vs. Autonomy
- Predictability vs. Novelty
- Openness vs. Privacy
We seek involvement but at the same time we are unwilling to sacrifice our entire identity
Connection vs. Autonomy