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Improving Communication Climates Flashcards

1
Q

Communication Climate

A

the emotional tone of a relationship

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2
Q

Confirming Communication

A

messages that convey valuing

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3
Q

Disconfirming Communication

A

messages that show a lack of regard

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4
Q

Types of Confirming Messages:

A
  • Recognition
  • Acknowledgement
  • Endorsement
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5
Q

Types of Disconfirming Messages:

A
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Complaining
  • Impervious Response
  • Interrupting
  • Irrelevant
  • Tangential
  • Impersonal
  • Ambiguous
  • Incongruous
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6
Q

Disagreeing messages

A
  • Argumentativeness: arguing in a way that is disrespectful to the other person
  • Complaining: registering dissatisfaction by complaining, behavioural vs. personal
  • Aggressiveness: attacking the ideas/beliefs of another, trying to inflict psychological pain
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7
Q

How Communication Climates Develop

A
  • Spiral
  • Escalatory Conflict Spiral
  • De-escalatory Conflict Spiral
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8
Q

A reciprocating communication pattern in which each person’s message reinforces the other’s

A

Spiral

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9
Q

The most visible way that disconfirming messages reinforce one another; can lead to a full-fledged battle

A

Escalatory Conflict Spiral

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10
Q

When parties slowly lessen their dependence on one another, withdraw, and become less invested in the relationship (less obvious)

A

De-escalatory Conflict Spiral

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11
Q

A ”you never do the dishes” B “You never fill up the car”

A

Negative reciprocal communication patterns: Complaint - Counter complaint

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12
Q

A “I just can’t understand how you can think that way” B “Well, I don’t understand why you can’t figure it out”….

A

Negative reciprocal communication patterns: Disagreement - Disagreement

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13
Q

A “Go ahead do what ever you want it does not matter to me” B “Ok, what ever , don’t expect me to be home on time”

A

Negative reciprocal communication patterns: Mutual indifference

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14
Q

A “You’re not listening to me!” B “Well, you’re not explaining yourself very well!”

A

Negative reciprocal communication patterns: Argument’s involving metacommunication

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15
Q

Negative reciprocal communication patterns:

A
  • Argument’s involving metacommunication
  • Mutual indifference
  • Disagreement - Disagreement
  • Complaint - Counter complaint
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16
Q

A “I really don’t understand this project, it’s so difficult” B “I can see why it is a challenge, perhaps I can explain…”

A

Positive reciprocal communication patterns: Validation of other’s perspective

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17
Q

A “I can’t believe you want to spend the whole day inside on such a sunny day!”
B-”It is a beautiful day, and normally I would be outside, but today I have a ton of work to do.”

A

Positive reciprocal communication patterns: Recognizing similarities

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18
Q

A. “This project is driving me nuts, I am never going to get it done!”
B. “I can see it is difficult, what can I do to help you get it off your plate.”

A

Positive reciprocal communication patterns: Supportiveness

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19
Q

Positive reciprocal communication patterns:

A
  • Validation of other’s perspective
  • Recognizing similarities
  • Supportiveness
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20
Q

process of protecting our presenting self, our face.

A

Defensiveness

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21
Q

an inconsistency between two conflicting pieces of information, attitudes, or behaviour

A

Cognitive Dissonance

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22
Q

messages that seem to challenge the image we want to project

A

Face-Threatening Acts

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23
Q

psychological devices that resolve dissonance by maintaining a positive presenting image

A

Defense Mechanisms

24
Q

Types of Defensive Reactions

A
  • Attacking the Critic
  • Distorting Critical Information
  • Avoiding Dissonant Information
25
Verbal Aggression
assaulting the critic directly
26
Sarcasm
less direct form of aggression
27
logical but untrue explanation of behaviour that is unacceptable to the self
Rationalization
28
emphasizing a strength in one area to cover up a weakness in another
Compensation
29
claiming you can’t do something
Regression
30
Attacking the Critic
- Verbal Aggression | - Sarcasm
31
Distorting Critical Information
- Rationalization - Compensation - Regression
32
Avoiding Dissonant Information
- Physical Avoidance - Repression - Apathy - Displacement
33
mentally blocking out dissonant information
Repression
34
acknowledging unpleasant information but | pretending you don’t care
Apathy
35
when we vent aggressive or hostile feelings against people or objects that are seen as less threatening than the person or persons who threatened us originally
Displacement
36
six types of defense-arousing communication and six contrasting behaviours that reduce the level of threat and defensiveness by conveying face-honoring relational messages of respect
Gibb categories: - Evaluation vs. Description - Control vs. Problem Orientation - Neutrality vs. Empathy - Superiority vs. Equality - Certainty vs. Provisionalism - Strategy vs. Spontaneity
37
Evaluation vs. Description
Evaluation - defensive behaviour; “you” language Descriptive - focuses on the speaker’s thoughts and feelings instead of judging the other person
38
Control vs. Problem Orientation
Controlling - sender seems to impose a solution on the receiver Problem Orientation - finding a solution that satisfies all parties
39
Neutrality vs. Empathy
Neutrality - disconfirming and indifferent attitude; lack of concern Empathy - putting oneself in another’s place
40
Superiority vs. Equality
Superiority - “I’m better than you” belief Equality - see others as having the same worth as human beings
41
Certainty vs. Provisionalism
Certainty - regarding own opinions as absolutes Provisionalism - willing to acknowledge others’ opinions and change stand if it seems reasonable
42
Strategy vs. Spontaneity
Strategy – speaker’s hide their ulterior motives, dishonesty and manipulation Spontaneity –simply means expressing yourself honestly (misleading label, does not mean you “blurt” things out)
43
Responding Non-defensively to Criticism
- Seek More Information | - Agree With The Critic
44
Seek More Information by:
- Ask for specifics - Guess about specifics - Paraphrase the speaker’s ideas - Ask what the critic wants - Ask about the consequences of your behaviour - Ask what else is wrong
45
Agree With The Critic by:
- Agree with the facts | - Agree with the critic’s perception*
46
Top 10 list for handling criticism
1. See it as a stepping stone 2. Recognize the potential of truth 3. Separate the critic from the criticism 4. Recognize the opportunity for major personal growth 5. Forgive the critic right away 6. Don't dwell on the criticism 7. Always journal what you've learned 8. Learn the lesson thoroughly 9. Talk about it as little as possible 10. Evaluate your progress
47
See criticism as a stepping stone
we all experience criticism in life, the more we achieve the more we get
48
There is either a hint of the truth or the potential for truth in every criticism
Recognize the potential of truth
49
We tend to think in an “all or nothing” structure, remember the critic may not be credible or well intentioned
Separate the critic from the criticism
50
Challenge yourself to see how the criticism is going to help you
Recognize the opportunity for major personal growth
51
Recognize that the critic giving criticism may not know what they are doing, it comes from a lack of maturity or a feeling of inferiority
Forgive the critic right away
52
Don't dwell on the criticism
learn from it and let it go!
53
record what you’ve learned from criticism
Always journal what you've learned
54
what good is it to keep repeating the same behaviour over and over , commit to handling the situation better the next time
Learn the lesson thoroughly
55
even if you are not guilty of the criticism talk about it as little as possible
Talk about it as little as possible
56
each time you encounter criticism you should notice growth in the way you handle it
Evaluate your progress

Psychology (5 decks)

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