Improving Communication Climates Flashcards
Communication Climate
the emotional tone of a relationship
Confirming Communication
messages that convey valuing
Disconfirming Communication
messages that show a lack of regard
Types of Confirming Messages:
- Recognition
- Acknowledgement
- Endorsement
Types of Disconfirming Messages:
- Verbal Abuse
- Complaining
- Impervious Response
- Interrupting
- Irrelevant
- Tangential
- Impersonal
- Ambiguous
- Incongruous
Disagreeing messages
- Argumentativeness: arguing in a way that is disrespectful to the other person
- Complaining: registering dissatisfaction by complaining, behavioural vs. personal
- Aggressiveness: attacking the ideas/beliefs of another, trying to inflict psychological pain
How Communication Climates Develop
- Spiral
- Escalatory Conflict Spiral
- De-escalatory Conflict Spiral
A reciprocating communication pattern in which each person’s message reinforces the other’s
Spiral
The most visible way that disconfirming messages reinforce one another; can lead to a full-fledged battle
Escalatory Conflict Spiral
When parties slowly lessen their dependence on one another, withdraw, and become less invested in the relationship (less obvious)
De-escalatory Conflict Spiral
A ”you never do the dishes” B “You never fill up the car”
Negative reciprocal communication patterns: Complaint - Counter complaint
A “I just can’t understand how you can think that way” B “Well, I don’t understand why you can’t figure it out”….
Negative reciprocal communication patterns: Disagreement - Disagreement
A “Go ahead do what ever you want it does not matter to me” B “Ok, what ever , don’t expect me to be home on time”
Negative reciprocal communication patterns: Mutual indifference
A “You’re not listening to me!” B “Well, you’re not explaining yourself very well!”
Negative reciprocal communication patterns: Argument’s involving metacommunication
Negative reciprocal communication patterns:
- Argument’s involving metacommunication
- Mutual indifference
- Disagreement - Disagreement
- Complaint - Counter complaint
A “I really don’t understand this project, it’s so difficult” B “I can see why it is a challenge, perhaps I can explain…”
Positive reciprocal communication patterns: Validation of other’s perspective
A “I can’t believe you want to spend the whole day inside on such a sunny day!”
B-”It is a beautiful day, and normally I would be outside, but today I have a ton of work to do.”
Positive reciprocal communication patterns: Recognizing similarities
A. “This project is driving me nuts, I am never going to get it done!”
B. “I can see it is difficult, what can I do to help you get it off your plate.”
Positive reciprocal communication patterns: Supportiveness
Positive reciprocal communication patterns:
- Validation of other’s perspective
- Recognizing similarities
- Supportiveness
process of protecting our presenting self, our face.
Defensiveness
an inconsistency between two conflicting pieces of information, attitudes, or behaviour
Cognitive Dissonance
messages that seem to challenge the image we want to project
Face-Threatening Acts