I Ate the Divorce Papers Monologue

Question 1

Introduction

Answer 1

I ate them. That’s right. I ate divorce papers, Charles. I ate them with ketchup. And they were good… gooooood.

Question 2

Build

Answer 2

You probably want me to get serious about our divorce. The thing is, you always called our marriage a joke. So let’s use logic here: If A: we never had a serious marriage, then B: we can’t have a serious divorce.

Question 3

Finale

Answer 3

No. We can’t. The whole thing’s a farce, Charles - a farce that tastes good with ketchup…