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Jokes > Friendly Comments > Flashcards

Friendly Comments Flashcards

1
Q

Ive quit my job

A

All good things must come to an end. And also your thing

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2
Q

Thats my gib stopper

A

He seems like a nice unsecured creditor

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3
Q

Eating at an expensive restaurant

A

Man this stuff aint cheap, what are we eating, dinosaur?

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4
Q

Compliment from date

A

Date feedback noted

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5
Q

Be frank

A

But im karl

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6
Q

Watching reality tv

A

When does this get to the reality part…

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7
Q

Crash here tonight karl

A

Na man im gonna crash on the road

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8
Q

Karl you look miserable

A

Im not miserable, you just too happy

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9
Q

Restaurant calling order number

A

Yea im just a number to my boss as well

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10
Q

Shes a dentist

A

Well nobodys perfect

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11
Q

You got a haircut

A

It just keeps on growing

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12
Q

I came second

A

So first loser eh..

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13
Q

I agree with her

A

Youre both crazy

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14
Q

My fathers had heart bypass surgery

A

I wish i could bypass MY heart

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15
Q

Dont forget to …

A

As if i could

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16
Q

Nice professional comment

A

Thanks..that helps with my imposter syndrome

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17
Q

Oh i think that options too expensive

A

This capitalism thing…i dunno if its for me…

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18
Q

I want another kid

A

Oh good i dont like our current one either

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19
Q

300 kpa bearing

A

Ok leonidas

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20
Q

Thats a crappy car

A

I bet it requires 98

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21
Q

I wanna live in russia

A

Ok edward snowden

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22
Q

Architect says ko needs this by 3pm

A

Theyre bluffing

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23
Q

Karl you were right

A

Usually those words are put in different sentences…?

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24
Q

He had a second child

A

With the same lady?

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25
Q

But im not a structural engineer

A

Some days i feel the same

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26
Q

Karl doesnt do much all day

A

Pay still comes in every two weeks

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27
Q

Happy birthday

A

Thanks, but why not happy everyday

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28
Q

Wsp is merging with aecom

A

Ramming two garbage trucks together dont get you a ferrari

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29
Q

Why are you nervous?

A

Because chemicals in my brain are telling me to be nervous

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30
Q

See you tomorrow

A

Not if i see you first

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31
Q

I got better things to do

A

No you dont

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32
Q

I would never do that to you

A

I would

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33
Q

Loud hollering

A

He hasnt changed one bit

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34
Q

Describing outrageous cost of something

A

Ill take 5

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35
Q

Talking about my personal life

A

Whats a guy gotta do to get some privacy around here

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36
Q

Its like watching paint dry

A

Staring dead ahead - sometimes paint can dry wrong and leave streaks

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37
Q

Am i too soow? Or just bad at this

A

Why not both

38
Q

technical talk

A

Can you explain it to me in english

39
Q

Karl can eat 5 of those

40
Q

Thanks for your help

A

No worries. Some day and that day may never come i will call upon you to do a service for me

41
Q

Im going to try waterskiing today

A

You got your will in place?

42
Q

Hes going to try get in your head

A

I dont think theres much in here anyway

43
Q

I cleaned it

A

Now it just looks regular dirty

44
Q

Technical dry explanation of things

A

Is this guy fun at parties or what

45
Q

being shown a basic gadget with enthusiasm

A

In 1960 they said we’d have flying cars by now. Instead we have basic gadget

46
Q

They let my colleague go

A

So they fired him? Yes. But they kept YOU?

47
Q

Its unbelieveable

A

Literally unbelieveable

48
Q

Should be ok, 16 out of 17 times it went ok

A

What about the one time

49
Q

Bitcoin is down

A

I just saw someone fall to their knees in paknsave

50
Q

unintentional rhyming

A

Sounds good john keats

51
Q

I went to an auction in papatoetoe

A

1 dollar reserve?

52
Q

Hes pretty loaded

A

You mean hes shop at countdown loaded?

53
Q

being in a place with a lot of rocks

A

This place rocks.

54
Q

Youve lost weight

A

Yea i got rid of my deadweight team

55
Q

Im 29 today

A

Hey youre in your prime

56
Q

I need a structural engineer

A

And i need a friend. Maybe we can help each other

57
Q

Youre a bit of a smart ass

A

My butt thanks you for the compliment

58
Q

Kari did more drugs on the trip

A

I knew hes a person to take the high road

59
Q

Youve lost weight

A

Yea its come off from my shoulders

60
Q

Now we’re even

A

As long as we’re just counting this week :P

61
Q

Ive been baptised

62
Q

I work at consultancy

A

How much are they paying you for your soul

63
Q

Ill see you there

A

No ill see you there

64
Q

Dont let work dictate your life

A

Guess all ive got left is my drinking then

65
Q

Its a blessing in disguise

A

I wouldnt say theres any disguise

66
Q

I have a migrane

A

From laughing too hard?

67
Q

Im going crazy

68
Q

Tourettes recoverees

69
Q

Dont tell anyone

A

Not even the internet?

70
Q

Married men live longer

A

Or it just seems longer…

71
Q

I got a 8tb ssd

A

Just enough space for one image of your mom

72
Q

Trust your feelings

A

Ok obi wan kenobi

73
Q

Im going to kl

A

Kings landing?

74
Q

Ive got two

A

In case you ever make a friend

75
Q

Ive never had covid

A

That virus wanted nothing to do with you

76
Q

Is that an expensive type of car

A

Yes. If you dont know how expensive cars are how do you decide on your friends

77
Q

I like your shirt

78
Q

You seem happier after a beer

A

Yea its a one cidered conversation yknow

79
Q

Its not a race

A

Me and my fellow rats say otherwise

80
Q

Its hot in here

81
Q

Ive got a lot of emails to deal with

A

So what youre saying is your outlook is bleak

82
Q

That wont happen

A

Your words ring true but the heart wants

83
Q

I got a sports tracking watch

A

Arent you supposed to wear it on your ankle

84
Q

Im so sore

A

Im sore-y to hear that

85
Q

You ever been to waitakere dam?

A

Yea it was dam good

86
Q

What do you trade

A

My life for money

87
Q

Theyre going to start charging for that app feature soon

A

Well. Its time to turn auto update off

88
Q

It was miscounted

A

Who is miss counted

89
Q

What kind of trader are you

90
Q

Its raining heavily

A

We can find two of every animal

91
Q

I dont think this article is written by ai

A

Sounds like something a robot powered by ai would say

Jokes (12 decks)

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