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Being Asked Friendly Questions Flashcards

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Funny Jokes flashcards
1
Q

Is mingyun coming

A

Well i think he always does but im not sure about alren

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2
Q

How are you

A

I dont know, but how could it be better than this

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3
Q

How do you get your iron (ie diet)

A

I go to the gym

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4
Q

What makes you happy

A

Ignorance, oxytocin

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5
Q

Did you go for an interview

A

Well it was really more of a formality

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6
Q

Whats your favourite animal

A

Tesla bull

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7
Q

How do you best learn?

A

I believe osmosis

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8
Q

Karl, salt and pepper?

A

No..i have black hair

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9
Q

Do you know who her friends are

A

Her best friends are diamonds

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10
Q

Will it he a boy or a girl?

A

Yes it will be a boy or a girl

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11
Q

How was your meeting?

A

I gave them nothing

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12
Q

Whats the resi team slogan

A

Money for nothing, chicks for free. Actually its the opposite of all of that

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13
Q

Why dont you ever bring a girl to a function

A

They might know about each other

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14
Q

What day is it

A

Today

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15
Q

Where bryan

A

Heaven

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16
Q

Did you buy her flowers

A

She sells flowers?

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17
Q

Wheres harpo

A

In my heart

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18
Q

Are you free on friday

A

Im worth at least a hundred dollars on any day

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19
Q

What did you have for breakfast

A

Intermittent fasting

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20
Q

Why you paying in cash?

A

Cause im dodgy

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21
Q

Hows enoch

A

Whos enoch

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22
Q

Are you happy

A

thinks. No im karl

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23
Q

What are star trek fans known as?

A

Virgins?

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24
Q

Do you feel the weight on your shoulders now that harpo is gone?

A

No…but i feel it around my waist

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25
Q

Are you lonely

A

No, i am karl

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26
Q

Whats a bond

A

My word

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27
Q

Whats the floor made out of?

A

Floor

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28
Q

Hows wife

A

Its relentless

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29
Q

How old are you

A

29…2 years ago

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30
Q

Where did you two meet

A

Rehab

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31
Q

What do you think about elevators

A

Its got its up and downs

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32
Q

Why did your date end early

A

I asked her what was she doing…for the rest of her life

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33
Q

Whats in paihia

A

Sin

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34
Q

Why are you laughing?

A

What are you the smile police

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35
Q

Do you surf

A

Only the web

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36
Q

Do you like your work

A

….

No….i dont get taken advantage of…

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37
Q

Do you use onenote?

A

No i use pen and paper

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38
Q

Amirite

A

Ya aint wrong…

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39
Q

Which university did you go to?

A

The university of wall street

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40
Q

Youre a senior engineer?

A

They just handing out titles to everybody

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41
Q

Is it three years for a couple to be defacto relationship?

A

Yes, but what happens if youre in a relationship with two people

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42
Q

How do you get to work?

A

Hot air balloon how about you?

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43
Q

Are you rich

A

Not yet

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44
Q

You excited

A

I alreaey got goosebumps

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45
Q

This should save me money

A

Sounds good mr krabs

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46
Q

Do you need anything from the architect?

A

Well i didnt want to mention it but my birthdays coming up

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47
Q

Would you live in greenlane?

A

If it doesnt have the work oaks in the name, im not interested

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48
Q

D0ing anything for the weekend?

A

Nobody has weekends around here

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49
Q

You going home?

A

Straight home. Aint passing no go. Aint collecting no $200

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50
Q

What is this? (Pointing to diagram on paper)

A

Ink

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51
Q

Whats your chinese name?

A

Yuan tang ping

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52
Q

Whats stopping you from achieving your dreams

A

… … …ethics…

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53
Q

Arent you cold

A

Most of the girls ive dated say no

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54
Q

Where are you going?

A

Hopefully heaven

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55
Q

What car do you drive?

A

Mark x. . Dairy owners fear me

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56
Q

Are you married

A

Not at this very moment

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57
Q

Where does arun live?

A

In the past

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58
Q

What did you need civil to fix?

A

At this point, probably bayonets

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59
Q

Did you just walk through the rain

A

Yes. Now i know what its like to chew 5 gum

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60
Q

Are you the team lead

A

Depends if you have a hard question

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61
Q

Are you chartered

A

No but ive got an attitude problem

62
Q

Do you know why its called complications

A

Because its complicated?

63
Q

Can we have the midfloor layout?

A

You cant handle the midfloor layout

64
Q

Hows the cake taste

A

Its potable

65
Q

What are the food options

A

Take it or leave it

66
Q

What are you drinking karl

A

The koolaid apparently

67
Q

Are you saying we arent cool

A

No im implying it

68
Q

What is the slogan for tonkin and taylor

A

Yee haw

69
Q

Want a lift

A

I dunno bro im pretty heavy

70
Q

Do you need a receipt

A

No this is for me

71
Q

Do you know the health and safety act 2015

A

Bro its 2023

72
Q

Can you time me

A

Let me get my calender out

73
Q

Whats this?

A

Its updog.

Whats updog?

Not much. How about you?

74
Q

Whats your favourite band

A

Garmin fitbit 3

75
Q

Can you talk real quick / can i have a quick chat

A

Noproblemicantalkfastas

76
Q

How do you work up a sweat karl

A

Hear the word ird

77
Q

How do you get your excitement

A

Revenge trading

78
Q

Do you have a suit

A

Of armour??

79
Q

Can you help me with this?

A

Whats in it for karl?

80
Q

Are you coming?

A

Its double xp weekend

81
Q

Whats yourfavourite line

A

Look at my pnl for 2023

82
Q

Why do some people have high self esteem

A

They deleted instagram

83
Q

Want to do something?

A

What do you think about robbing a bank

84
Q

Can i ask about…

A

You can ask

85
Q

You guys thought you can keep a good man down

A

Hows that relevant here

86
Q

You all right?

A

Ill get back to you

87
Q

Where do you live?

A

In the future

88
Q

Whered you work?

A

Kainga ora 2077

89
Q

Was this approved?

A

I believe in begging for forgiveness afterwards rather than asking for approval beforehand

90
Q

What kind of trading do you do

A

Revenge trading

91
Q

Do you have any health problems

A

Yea i do actually my heart. My doctor says its enlarged, like its too big

92
Q

How did you learn to invest

A

Books. Investing for dummies and the complete idiots guide to stocks

93
Q

Whats your trading strategy

A

Magic 8 ball

94
Q

A ring should cost three months salary

A

I dont have a salary

95
Q

Hi im looking for john peddleton

A
96
Q

Did you get a haircut?

A

Na it just grew back into myself

97
Q

Whats your love language

A

I think its money

98
Q

Whats your favourite dinosaur

A

Thesaurus

99
Q

Any other questions

A

Do you have the winning numbers for lotto this week

100
Q

Where were you born?

A

First time china. Second time new york stock exchange

101
Q

Isnt that something

A

That is definitely something

102
Q

Are you going to france?

A

Why not? What have i got toulouse?

103
Q

How would you do things differently

A

I wouldnt change a gawddamn thing

104
Q

Whats the price of bitcoin?

A

0.05 million

105
Q

How old are you

A

Old enough

106
Q

Do you have bitcoin

A

Yes and its been going well. I just have one question about this stuff. What is a bitcoin

107
Q

Hows retirement

A

Whos retirement

108
Q

How did you get this gig

A

Nepotism

109
Q

Can you be a contract engineer

A

Only if i get paid in cash

110
Q

What pushed you to do it?

A

The invisible hand of the free market

111
Q

Are you in any secret societies

A

Auckland property investors

112
Q

What kind of car do you drive

A

Courtesy car

113
Q

Have we met before?

A

No you must have met a different highly aloof, but also slightly funny guy

114
Q

How is he so humble

A

Hes a warriors fan

115
Q

Do you go clubbing

A

Does costco count

116
Q

You know whats dead and never coming back?

A

Chivalry?

117
Q

Do you have any serious medical conditions

A

I like spending time with damaged people

118
Q

Are there many girls there?

A

Not physically

119
Q

What do you do after work

A

What is after work?

120
Q

What bank are you with

A

Bank of mum and dad

121
Q

Whats your best pickup line

A

I have a weighted blanket that has improved my sleep by a statisitically significant amount..want to try it out

122
Q

Want to come to the front?

A

Na i dont even know if im staying

123
Q

Do you have a brother

A

Yea i got a printer at home

124
Q

How do you take it (i.e. coffee)

A

Personally

125
Q

What do you get up to in your spare time

A

Rollercoasters. People rollercoasters

126
Q

How do you get downtown?

A

Well first you gotta meet the right person. Then you gotta say the right things

127
Q

Anyone elses internet slow today

A

Lotto nz seems to load okay

128
Q

You seen anyone from msc recently

A

Na i havent walked through the wine section of countdown in a while

129
Q

How thick is it

A

As thieves

130
Q

Whats there to see in napier

A

My rearview mirror as im speeding out of there

131
Q

Who are you insured with?

A

Myself

132
Q

What caused his blindness?

A

Greed

133
Q

How do you make ai safe

A

Remove the power plug from the wall

134
Q

Hoe do you take your coffee

A

For granted

135
Q

What kind of steak do you eat

A

New world

136
Q

What do you treat the flu

A

Money?

137
Q

Do you like roller coasters

A

Physical ones yes. Emotional ones also yes

138
Q

Do you like roller coasters

A

Physical ones yes. Emotional ones also yes

139
Q

Is it an elite school

A

Elitist for sure

140
Q

Is it an elite school

A

Elitist for sure

141
Q

Why dont you get up early

A

And be up earlier than the servants?

142
Q

Is he a good civil engineer

A

He knows his shit

143
Q

Is he a good civil engineer

A

He knows his shit

144
Q

What kind of cake do you like

A

Beef cake

145
Q

What kind of ball sports do you play

A

Hardball

146
Q

What do you weigh

A

The pros and cons of this conversation

147
Q

Whered you go for your trip

A

Power

148
Q

Whats the limit on this

A

The sky

149
Q

How are you going from tokyo to soeul

A

Flattery

150
Q

Was there a lot of biker gangs on the road today

A

I think the botanical gardens have their spring flowers open for viewing today

Jokes (12 decks)

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