Family dynamic Flashcards
an interactional unit in which all members influence each other
-Unit is comprised of people who are joined together by a common history and future, either united by bonds of blood, marriage, mutual consent, or adoption
-Helps achieve basic needs, maintain order and control, provide love
-Govern themselves by roles and rules
Family
Family role of one that is seen to set the example for others
-the straight As student
-Eldest son
Hero
Family role who is the problem child, trouble maker, defiant, or a misfit
Scapegoat
Family role who is the quiet kid, dreamer, has their head in the clouds, or is distant
Lost child
Family role who breaks the tension, is a joker, adds humor, or is disruptive
Mascot
Family rules that are not spoken or stated, but hidden
-“it is what it is”
Implicit rules
Family rules that are spoken or known
Explicit rules
Family rules that serves a person well, can be changed or adapted. Rules specifically for the family’s needs
Functional rules
Family rules with harmful effects, these rules limit personal growth
Dysfunctional rules
Family structure of dad, mom, and their children
Nuclear family
Family structure of parent 1 and their kids, parent 2 and their kids
Blended, “step”, remarried
Family structure where two people are in a long term relationship. They may or may not have kids
Unmarried partners
Another generation of family that lives with a nuclear family
Extended family
One parent and child
Single parent
2 nuclear families under one roof
Joint family
- Centered around the patriarch
- Centered around the matriarch
- Both parents make decisions. sharing
- Patriarchy (nuclear family)
- Matriarchy
- Egalitarian
How families interact:
Democratic family approach
-Changes, adapts, respects rights and viewpoints
-Tolerant of one another’s grief reactions during loss
-Easiest families to work with
Open system
How families interact:
Rigid, demanding unyielding in different opinions
-“We’ve always done it this way
-Tradition, doesn’t like change
-Shut down, put deceased on a pedestal
Closed system
How families interact:
Fragmented. “you do you”
-Very few or no rules
-Could avoid contact, some don’t come to service
Random system
What are the common characteristics of a healthy family?
-Open communication (system)
-Faith or belief system
-Rituals and traditions
The representation to show how a family relates, what is used to make a family tree; visual/ graphic representation
Genogram
What are the areas to consider with families in grief?
- What role did the deceased play in the family unit?
- Emotional integration
- How the family facilitates or hingers self-expression
-If considering counseling, it is the most effective for a family when the individuals are treated separately and then as a unit
Occurs through roles, norms, and values in the family.
-Grief disrupts the balance
-In healthy family units, make adjustments so balance returns but in unhealthy units, balance does not return due to their rigidness
-Complicated grief may actually affect multiple generations (can be passed on)
Homeostasis balance
What are some ways to handle famililies and their grief?
- Must treat individual and the unit
- Address the family myths (Loki, Thor, and Hela)
- With the loss, the primary task in counseling is establishing a new functional unit
How do children learn about death?
-Religion
-Family
-Television/ media
-Peers
-Experience
the funeral home needs to help foster a meaningful and comfortable experience for children
What are the needs of a bereaved child? And what is the advice for partents?
Needs of children
-To be able to cry/ express emotions
-Honesty/ age appropriate answers about death
-Ways to remember the deceased
-Involvement in events surrounding death
Advice for parents:
-Discuss the importance of a funeral
-Allow them to participate if asked
-By age 7, children should be encouraged to participate
Worked with orphaned children in Hungary post WWII (1948). Came up with age of a child’s death understanding
Maria Nagy
Age of child’s death understanding:
Little to no understanding
-Non verbal skills (can sense emotional shifts in caregivers)
-Mimic caregivers
Birth to 3 years
Age of child’s death understanding:
Start to learn word death, but seems not permanent
-Death is “less alive” and can be reversed
-Magical thinking: ___
3-5 years
-Magical thinking: kids believe thoughts cause actions
Age of child’s death understanding:
Death happens to old people, not me or my family
-Get inquisitive about death
-Anthropomorphizing:___
5-9 years
-Anthropomorphizing: making something not human a human
Age of child’s death understanding:
Death is final and irreversible; mature view
-Biological understanding
9 years and older
Age of child’s death understanding: Not a part of Nagy’s writing
-teenage years get more abstract on views
-Existentialism, reflection
Adolescense
What are the warning signs of a grieving kid?
-Changes to their school work or activities
-Docile to hyperactivities
-Play habits are different
-Normal to regress (be vigilenton intensity/duration)
-Eating and cleeping patterns
-If grief is unchecked, can lead to phobias
-Grief can be re-experienced
What are some things to say and not say to children about death?
To say:
-Share religious conviction if you believe them
-Speak in concrete terms rather than philosophical ones
-Grant permission to cry/ express feelings
-Acknowledge when you do not know the answer
Don’t say:
-Make believe stories or fairytales
-Somethings you don’t believe yourself
-What they will have to unlearn later
