Emotional Intelligence 2.0 deck 3

Question 1

Stay synchronized (SM)

Answer 1

If your body language doesn’t match the situation, it’s a sign that your emotions are out of whack. Be aware of your body language and use it as a cue to address your emotions when necessary

Question 2

Speak to someone who is not emotionally vested in your problem (SM)

Answer 2

A second opinion can be invaluable, but only if the other person doesn’t have their own emotions about the particular situation. Find the right people to be sounding boards for the right situations

Question 3

Learn a valuable lesson from everyone you encounter (SM)

Answer 3

The key here is in the mindset; if you are looking to learn a valuable lesson from everyone you interact with, you will be in a mindset that makes you more flexible, open-minded, and relaxed. Always be asking yourself what you can learn about yourself or others from others’ behavior, and you’ll experience negative emotional reaction much less frequently

Question 4

Put a mental recharge in your schedule (SM)

Answer 4

Physical activity gives your brain an important rest, in addition to the physical benefits. Put physical exercise on your schedule rather than trying to fit it in if you have time

Question 5

Accept that change is just around the corner (SM)

Answer 5

Because people tend to be upset by change, acceptance that change is inevitable will save you a great deal of stress. The authors suggest taking time every week or two to write down some changes that could potentially happen in important areas of your life, as well as actions you would want to take if those changes happen

Question 6

Greet people by name (SC

Answer 6

Using and remembering someone’s name is a basic way to engage them. Picture the individual’s name spelled out, and use it at least twice in your first conversation with them

Question 7

Watch body language (SC

Answer 7

By becoming an expert reader of body language, you’ll be better able to recognize emotional cues and adapt accordingly

Question 8

Make timing everything (SC)

Answer 8

Focus on the other person’s emotional state and frame of mind, instead of your own, to ascertain the right timing for what you need to communicate. One simple example is not asking for a favor when the other person is in an upset or angry emotional state

Question 9

Don’t take notes at meetings (SC)

Answer 9

If you’re focused on taking notes, you will likely miss important cues in the conversation. Most communication happens nonverbally, so whenever possible you should focus on the individuals, not your notes. If note-taking is necessary, make sure to take breaks at regular intervals to observe the people in the meeting and pick up emotional cues

Question 10

Plan ahead for social gatherings (SC)

Answer 10

It seems a bit stilted, but the reality is that planning ahead will allow you to be more emotionally present at the event. Write down anything you want to be sure to accomplish, and you’ll forget less and
notice more

Question 11

Clear away the clutter (SC)

Answer 11

This involves bettering your listening skills by focusing on the other person’s words and expressions instead of thinking about what you want to say next. The difference is your mental purpose: are you in the conversation to impress the other person with your knowledge, or to learn something?

Question 12

Live in the moment (SC)

Answer 12

Being present wherever you are instead of wasting your time regretting the past and worrying about the future will allow you to be more perceptive of the people around you

Question 13

Go on a 15 minute tour (SC)

Answer 13

The authors suggest taking 15 minutes out of each workday to walk around and observe emotional cues: the look of people’s workspaces, the timing of people’s movements, the overall mood, etc

Question 14

Watch EQ at the movies (SC)

Answer 14

Take the time to watch two movies specifically for the purpose of observing the character’s emotions, body language, relationships, interactions, e

Question 15

Practice the art of listening (SC)

Answer 15

This means practicing a conscious focus on the speaker, and the tone, speed, and volume of their voice

Question 16

Go people watching (SC)

Answer 16

In order to improve your social awareness abilities, go to a coffee shop, grocery store, or other public place with the express purpose of observing people’s emotional states

Question 17

Understand the rules of the culture game (SC)

Answer 17

In today’s world, being socially aware requires that you develop emotional intelligence across the spectrum of the world’s cultures. This is a complex endeavor, as every culture has its own norms for personal, family, and business interactions. It will require patience as you watch and observe, taking extra time to understand the cultural expectations of people outside your own culture

Question 18

Test for accuracy (SC)

Answer 18

If you’re not sure what a cue is telling you about someone, you can always ask. State what you see (“You seem sad…”) and ask a direct question (“Did something happen?”

Question 19

Step into their shoes (SC

Answer 19

Remember that people have different backgrounds and motivations. Put yourself in their situation, and from the perspective of how they would see things, try to understand why they are acting the way they are. When possible, check with them to see if your guesses are correct