Elf The Musical - Jovie’s Lines

Question 1

Buddy: She is? I love nuts! Hi. I’m Buddy the Elf and we’re going to have fun together.

Answer 1

Jovie: Hi. I’m Jovie the elf and I seriously doubt it. Enjoying the view?

Question 2

Buddy: Yes. You’re very pretty. Like a glittery angel. I’d like to stick you on top of the tree!

Answer 2

Jovie: Classy. You know what? I’m not a Christmas person, so dial down the elf speak, okay?

Question 3

Buddy: Uh oh. Sounds like someone needs to sing a Christmas Carol! Don’t you know, the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!

Answer 3

Jovie: I don’t sing.

Question 4

Buddy: PICK UP EVERY ORNAMENT THAT’S SITTING, WAITING ON A SHELF
WHILE YOU’RE BUSY DECORATING WHY NOT DECORATE YOURSELF?
SOON YOU’LL BRING A SMILE TO EVERY PERSON YOU SEE

Answer 4

Jovie: I’m sparkle-twinkle-jolly-what?

Question 5

Manager: Whatever turns your crank, Buddy.

Answer 5

Jovie: Good night.

Question 6

Buddy: Hey, wait a second. Would somebody like a hug?

Answer 6

Jovie: No, would somebody like a punch in the throat?

Question 7

Buddy: No.

Answer 7

Jovie: So, good night.

Question 8

Buddy: Wait. Do you… wanna eat food?

Answer 8

Jovie: Do I want to eat food?

Question 9

Buddy: Um-hmm. You know…

Answer 9

Jovie: Are you asking me out on a date?

Question 10

Buddy: Yes, right, that’s it. A date!

Answer 10

Jovie: Oh, you don’t want to go out with me.

Question 11

Buddy: Yes, I do!

Answer 11

Jovie: No, you don’t.

Question 12

Buddy: Yes, I do! [second time]

Answer 12

Jovie: Why?

Question 13

Buddy: Well, because I like you. I feel warm when I’m around you. And, um, my tongue swells up.

Answer 13

Jovie: Your tongue swells up?

Question 14

Buddy: Yeth, it doth. See?

Answer 14

Jovie: Well, it’s weirdly nice that I make your tongue swell up, but I just don’t see this date happening.

Question 15

Buddy: Oh, of course. I’m sure you already have a date tonight. Obviously. You probably have guys wanting to eat food with you all the time. Lunch, dinner.…I bet you have a different guy for breakfast every morning. It was dumb of me to ask.

Answer 15

Jovie: What the hell. I’m free Thursday.

Question 16

Buddy: Thursday? Thursday! Yesss!!! This is going to be the best Thursday ever in the history of Thursdays!

Answer 16

Jovie: You know what? I find if you lower your expectations in life, you avoid a lot of disappointment. She starts to leave and notices he isn’t moving. Don’t you have a home to go to?

Question 17

Buddy: Sure. I have a home to go. A nice home, with a big bed. And walls and a ceiling and everything. I’m just going to stay here and put up a little more tinsel.

Answer 17

Jovie: Seriously? Okay. Well. Good night.

Question 18

Buddy: How did you like your dinner?

Answer 18

Jovie: Greasy souvlaki on a stick is not dinner.

Question 19

Buddy: But it’s the world’s best souvlaki.

Answer 19

Jovie: No. It’s the world’s crappiest souvlaki. She drops it in the trash and apologizes to the gender. Sorry.

Question 20

Vendor: No. Thank you for the feedback. I’ll go home right now and change the sign.

Answer 20

Jovie: Look, how about we just call it a night?

Question 21

Buddy: No! We’ve still got so much to do on our date. It’s too early to take you home and get you into bed. Oh! How about dancing?

Answer 21

Jovie: Uh, no…

Question 22

Buddy: Take it, Jovie!

Answer 22

Jovie: I am so not going to take that.

Question 23

Buddy: Thank you. This one’s a little flat.

Answer 23

Jovie: you are amazing on those things!

Question 24

Buddy: Well, I used to be in a band; it was me on bells, Charlie on toy piano and Tiara on lead vocals and glockenspiel. We had a good thing going there for a while, but then Charlie started hitting the syrup pretty hard and we had to call it quits. Those were crazy, crazy days. Hey, did I tell you? You look miraculous.

Answer 24

Jovie: Miraculous, huh? Okay, Well you look miraculous to. That elf got up made you look incredibly dorky.

Question 25

Buddy: Thanks!

Answer 25

Jovie: That wasn’t a compli—

Question 26

Buddy: I know! It’s the night before the night before Christmas. Let’s do something Christmas–y!

Answer 26

Jovie: You want Christmas–y? Okay. Follow me!

Question 27

Buddy: Oh! Let’s go skating!

Answer 27

Jovie: I’m not a very good skater

Question 28

Buddy: That’s okay, neither am I. Santa says I am a hazard. He calls me “Edward Scissor feet.“

Answer 28

Jovie: Stop. Let’s make a pact. If you try to be less elf-y, I’ll try to be less crabby.

Question 29

Buddy: Okay. I’d like it if you’d be less crabby.

Answer 29

Jovie: I came here last year too, my first Christmas in New York.

Question 30

Buddy: Oh, where’d you come from?

Answer 30

Jovie: L.A.

Question 31

Buddy: L.A.? Never heard of that place. I don’t think Santa goes there.

Answer 31

Jovie: He doesn’t. Christmases there are surreal. No snow.

Question 32

Buddy: No snow?!?

Answer 32

Jovie: I’ve never even seen snow. I’ve always wanted to.

Question 33

Buddy: That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

Answer 33

Jovie: Yeah, I’ve been here for almost two years and it hasn’t snowed once. You know, when I was a kid I dreamed of having a snowy Christmas Eve dinner at Tavern on the Green with Billy Crystal. That sounds so stupid.

Question 34

Buddy: No it doesn’t! Who’s Billy Crystal? He sounds magical.

Answer 34

Jovie: He’s an actor. He was in my favorite movie of all time: “City Slickers”. Anyways, last year I spent Christmas Eve in a 400 square foot studio apartment with no heat binge watching “Gilmore Girls” on Netflix. Sad, huh?

Question 35

Buddy: You know what? We are going to have Christmas Eve Dinner at Tavern on the Green!

Answer 35

Jovie: I don’t think so. For one thing, it’s been closed for months. It just re-opened, now it’s even harder to get in.

Question 36

Buddy: My dad can get us a table! He can do anything!

Answer 36

Jovie: Buddy, don’t promise things you can’t deliver.

Question 37

Buddy: Jovie, I will make your dream come true. I promise.

Answer 37

Jovie: Wow, I might actually have a real Christmas.

Question 38

Buddy: You see? You do have Christmas Spirit!

Answer 38

Jovie: I guess I do. A little.

Question 39

Buddy: Now you have to spread it around and remember the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

Answer 39

Jovie: I told you, I don’t sing.

Question 40

Buddy: What do you mean, you don’t sing?

Answer 40

Jovie: I mean I don’t sing for anyone, at anytime, under any circumstances, and that includes birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs and especially Christmas. Okay?

Question 41

Buddy: COME ON, JOVIE, SINGING CAN BE EASY

Answer 41

Jovie: Please stop.

Question 42

Buddy: IT’S FUN, IT’S FREE AND BEST OF ALL IT’S…

Answer 42

Jovie: Totally cheesy?

Question 43

Buddy: IT’S JUST LIKE TALKING ONLY YOU SUSTAIN IT AND MAKE IT SOUND PRETTY

Answer 43

Jovie: No.

Question 44

Buddy: …BY SINGING LOUD FOR ALL TO HEAR

Answer 44

Jovie: People are staring.

Question 45

Buddy: Jovie! I know you are super mad right now. (noticing her dress) Wow. You look more miraculous than ever.

Answer 45

Jovie: And you look….seasonally appropriate.

Question 46

Buddy: Thanks!

Answer 46

Jovie: You are two and a half hours late.

Question 47

Buddy: I have a really good explanation.

Answer 47

Jovie: Go ahead.

Question 48

Buddy: I forgot about our date.

Answer 48

Jovie: That’s your explanation? You forgot?

Question 49

Buddy: I remembered it eventually, but for a long time I forgot, which is why I’m late. Oh! Is this Tavern on the Green? With all the lights? Pretty.

Answer 49

Jovie: Yes, I’m sure some lucky couple had a wonderful evening sitting at our table.

Question 50

Buddy: No they didn’t.

Answer 50

Jovie: Why not?

Question 51

Buddy: Because we didn’t have a table. I was going to ask my Dad to get us one—

Answer 51

Jovie: But you forgot.

Question 52

Buddy: No. I remembered, but he got really mad at me for making it snow in his office—

Answer 52

Jovie: Stop. Just. Stop. I can’t take any more of your crazy stories.

Question 53

Buddy: But it’s true! And, oh, Jovie, I am so, so sorry I ruined your Christmas dream.

Answer 53

Jovie: Forget it. It’s my fault. I knew you couldn’t get a table. But still, I got all dressed up and came here. And then an hour went by, then another hour and I waited. I didn’t leave. Why? Because our date on Thursday was the only good time I’ve had in the last year and a half. How sad is that?

Question 54

Buddy: That is sad. But it’s nice, too.

Answer 54

Jovie: I just thought that if anyone could give me a real Christmas it would be you.
“Lower your expectations, so you don’t get disappointed”. I should have that
tattooed on my forehead.

Question 55

Buddy: Jovie I feel so bad about this, sick in my stomach, like I swallowed a zillion sticks of Juicy Fruit. The last thing in the whole wide world I wanted to do was hurt you.

Answer 55

Jovie: I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m cold, and my feet are killing me in these
heels…

Question 56

Buddy: Can I just give you a Christmas present?

Answer 56

Jovie: This is the worst possible time—

Question 57

Buddy: … Keep it, and look at it later when you’re not furious. It’s real special. I mean, I know you’re not going to believe me, but Santa Claus gave it to me when I left the North Pole.

Answer 57

Jovie: Oh, Buddy. I so, so wish that were true.

Question 58

Buddy: …Everybody! Sing! Sing! Anybody?

Answer 58

Jovie: [A Christmas Song Reprise first verse] Come on people! Get into it!

Question 59

Buddy: Jovie? You’re here! I thought you were mad at me.

Answer 59

Jovie: I was, but then you made it snow!

Question 60

Walter: Shhh! Buddy! You’ll wake the baby!

Answer 60

Jovie: It’s okay, papa Hobbs. The baby loves Buddy’s singing!