Disconnection and Rejection - Abandonment

Question 1

How does the Abandonment Schema present?

Answer 1

Expect to lose those close to them - fear, vigilance

Question 2

What are the common emotions?

Answer 2

Anxiety, fear, depression, anger if loss.

Question 3

What are common behaviours?

Answer 3

Clingy, possessive, accusing, controlling - to prevent person from leaving

Question 4

How does it perpetuate?

Answer 4

Choose unstable others.

Question 5

How is abandonment linked with subjugation?

Answer 5

If I don’t do what he wants he’ll leave me.

Question 6

Linked with defective?

Answer 6

Will find out and leave.

Question 7

What are goals of treatment?

Answer 7

Become more realistic about stability of relationships. Learn to internalize others as stable objects.

Question 8

Ultimate goal?

Answer 8

Find someone stable who will never leave. God.

Question 9

What are the cognitive strategies?

Answer 9

Stop catastrophizing
Check unrealistic expectation that people should be always available and consistent
Accept others can set limits and have own space
Reduce obsessive focus on checking still there
Change view that I must do whatever he wants or will leave
Defective and will leave

Question 10

What are experiential strategies?

Answer 10

Express anger at parent who abandoned and comfort abandoned child

Question 11

What are behavioural strategies?

Answer 11

Stop jealous, clingy, angry, controlling
Tolerate being alone
Heal linked schemas: stop letting others control me, stop feeling defective

Question 12

Special problems with this schema?

Answer 12

Frightened in therapy, “good” but not authentic, avoidant so not attached, too attached