CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS Flashcards
Why we need to affiliate as humans
o The need to affiliate= the urge to form connections and make contact with other people.
o Byrd 1934- volunteered to spend 6 months alone. At first he wanted to be alone, but in the 4th week he said he felt lonely, lost and bewildered. After 3 months he became severely depressed, and had hallucinations and bizarre ideas.
o Schacheter 1959- found a relationship between isolation and anxiousness- having company reduces anxiety as they may serve as a distraction from worrying situations, or act as a yardtick for social comparison.
o William 2002- one situation when isolation is very painful is when it is intentionally imposed on you by another individual or group
o Sptiz 1945- compared babies is institutionalised care- found those who had not been held compared to those with adequate care, were less mentally and socially advanced and mortality rate was high
attachment styles and later relationships
o Attachment styles in children typically developed between the nature of them and their primary caregiver lead to types of relationships in later life (such as romantic relationships). As Bowlby suggests; attachment is a process that operates throughout life rather than just in infancy, and attachment styles adopted early in life prevail in later relationships
o Secure- trust in others, not worried about abandonment. Belief that one is worthy and liked, finding it easy to be close to others and being dependent on others
o Avoidant- suppression of attachment needs, past attempts to be intimate have been rebuffed- uncomfortable when close to others, difficult to trust others
o Anxious- concern that others will not reciprocate ones desire for intimacy, feel that a close partner doesn’t really offer love, or may leave. Fall in love easily, experiences more emotional highs and lows in relationships and often more unhappy. Marshall 2013- those anxiously attached were more likely to be less trusting and checked on facebook profiles/status of their intimate partners
self disclosure and trust
o Self discourse is important in long term intimacy
o Collins and miller 1994- people prefer others who reveal more about their feelings and thoughts
o Craig Holt 2000, found in conversations with strangers, greater self-discourse led to increased positive affect
o Holems 2002- the more your friend or partner self discloses, the safer you feel in the relationship and the more you trust him or her
