Chapter Fifteen - Ending Relationships

Question 1

What are the top 10 factors predicting relationship dissolution (divorce)?

Answer 1

1. Infidelity or interest in a 3rd party.
2. Incompatibility
3. Alcohol & Drug use
4. Growing Apart
5. Withdrawal
6. Negative Communication
7. Lack of Openness/Affection
8. Abusive Communication
9. Loss of Love
10. Equity Issues & Family Obligations.

Question 2

What are the phases in the Model of Relational Dissolution?

Answer 2

Intrapsychic Phase, Dyadic Processes Phase, Social Process Phase, Grave-Dressing Phase, Resurrection Phase

Question 3

Intrapsychic Phase

Answer 3

Involves thinking about the positive and negative aspects of a relationship to evaluate whether you want to stay in it or possibly break up.

Question 4

Dyadic Process Phase

Answer 4

Focuses on how a couple deals with issues that are causing dissatisfaction in their relationship, and can include conflict, avoidance, and/or problem solving. (having “the talk”)

Question 5

Social Process Phase

Answer 5

People talk to people in their social network about problems in their relationship including a possible breakup.

Question 6

Grave-Dressing Phase

Answer 6

Involves public presentation of the breakup; often includes communication that helps people save face.

Question 7

Resurrection Phase

Answer 7

Stage wherein people move on by visualizing their future without their old relationship and learning from their past experiences.

Question 8

The Direct Dump

Answer 8

unilateral & direct dissolution strategy; the open-and-honest approach, simply stating the relationship is over.

Question 9

The Relationship-Talk Trick

Answer 9

unilateral & direct dissolution strategy; person intentionally structures the relationship talk to highlight both people are better off going their own separate ways.

Question 10

Positive Tone

Answer 10

unilateral & direct dissolution strategy; personal attempts to lessen the dumped person’s hurt feelings by making them feel better about the break up: “you’re better than me and better off without me”.

Question 11

Genuine De-Escalation

Answer 11

unilateral & direct dissolution strategy; avoid complete break up, scaling back relationship involvement or taking a break.

Question 12

Ghosting

Answer 12

unilateral & indirect dissolution strategy; person disappears from someones life as if they were never apart of it.

Question 13

The One-Way Fade

Answer 13

unilateral & indirect dissolution strategy; 1. person is fading out and the other is responding to it; 2. the fade is gradual, not abrupt.

Question 14

Third Party Manipulation

Answer 14

unilateral & indirect dissolution strategy; person gets third party to bring up impending break up to their partner.

Question 15

Cost Escalation

Answer 15

unilateral & indirect dissolution strategy; person behaves in a way to make their partner leave them.

Question 16

Pseudo De-Escalation

Answer 16

unilateral & indirect dissolution strategy; false declaration that the relationship would benefit from some space (with no intention to get back together).

Question 17

3 Bilateral Strategies

both partner’s agree on breaking up

Answer 17

1. The Mutual Fade Out (mutually diminished interest)
2. The Blame Game (cycles of negatively)
3. The Negotiated Farewell (divide up possessions fairly together)