Chapter 9: Relationships Flashcards
What is Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
- Intimacy: feelings of bonding, closeness, support, openness and connectedness in relationships
- Passion: physical attraction, sexual desire, lust, euphoria, romance
- Commitment: decision to love someone and remain loyal, in order to maintain the relationship
- Consummate love: Passion= Commitment= Intimacy
Gender Segregation in Childhood Friendships
- cross-gender play until around 3 years of age and then 4 to middle childhood preference for own sex friends
- Boys are unresponsive to girls and girls are passive to boys (watch)
Activity preferences by sex
- boys: larger groups, outdoors, tough and tumble play, gross motor skills
- girls: just as active, seek and value intimacy more
(contributes to segregation)
Concept of friends develops during elementary school
- friends begin to furnish intimacy and companionship
- learn to form relationships without the pressure of sexual contact
(intimacy and commitment without passion)
Girl Friendship Style
- emotional intimacy, talk based friendships
Boys Friendship Style
- intimacy through activity, based on playing games, team sports
Changes in existing friendships
- workplace relationships (cross-gender but not ethnic boundaries)
- committed relationships (relinquish other relationships)
Relationship Styles
- many of mens intimate friendships are with women
- love has come to be feminized
- men: role of homophobia
Family Duty Blueprint
(before the industrial revolution, marriages tended to fit this blueprint)
- equal relationships between partners
- formed around commitment and made intimacy likely
- passion may have been missing
Doctrine of the Two Spheres
- women must maintain the love of their husband because of financial dependence and caregiving (which is associated with love)
- women: be good mothers and wives
- men: good provider role
Companionship Blueprint
- increasing economic power for women, but traditional roles
- love before marriage and choice
- lack of commitment (rising divorce rates)
- dating becomes popular
Format for dating behaviour
- provides scripts for both men and women
- men lead and act, women follow and react
Types of Relationships
- gay and lesbian couples
- married heterosexual couples
- cohabitating non married heterosexual couples
What are the styles of heterosexual marriages
- companionship blueprint (defined gender-roles) women maintain love - traditional
- Independence Blueprint: flexible gender roles, personal freedom and change, self development over commitment
- Interdependence blueprint: flexible gender roles, commitment based on mutual dependence (consummate love)
Compared to women, men..
- have more traditional concepts however become more egalitarian (Equal)
- are more romantic
- less likely to want to get married
Compared to men, women..
- more likely to report physical symptoms of being in love
- married females report more stress then married men
Communication between partners
- women: create emotional intimacy through talk and self-disclosure, husbands may feel threatened (a test about to be failed)
- Men: create emotional intimacy through activity such as sex, wives don’t count sex as communication or as a method for establishing intimacy
Growth of egalitarian attitudes towards marriage
- parallels trend of employment for women
- however men may still hold more power
- divided on gender lines
Decision Making and Power in relationships
- the partner bringing more resources likely yields more power (income, status or education)
- wives who make more money likely will have less power in a relationship, both try to maintain appearance of traditional gender roles
Division of Household Labor
- primary responsibility for household chores remains with the women
- “womens work” much more time consuming chores more than men
Conflict and Violence
- how couples resolve conflict reflects differentials in power (less power, more stress)
Goals of Conflict Resolution
(when men have more power)
- women more likely to start conversation
- for men: please their partner
- for women: conflict avoidance (silencing effect)
Coercive Styles of conflict Resolution
- men and women are equally likely to be the perpetrators of violence, but women are much more likely to sustain serious injury
- the larger the power differential the more violence
What is intimate terrorism
- control families and retain dominance
what is Commitment
- the component which is strongly related to relationship stability
What is cheating
- an emotional betrayal for women signalling the end
(wives tend to leave leave husbands for their lovers) - men and lack of sex
Dissolving Relationships
- women generally initiate the break up
- women tend to fall into love more slowly and out of love more quickly than men
Considering Diversity in Relationships
- in societies that are more male-dominated violence against women is more common (cultures where women have less power)
