Chapter 7 Flashcards
The ratio of … to … has an effect on the client’s willingness to explore his or her own thoughts, feelings, motives, and actions
challenge to support
T: never received feedback
simple unawareness
low support and low challenge =
ignoring
high support and low challenge
befriending
high support and high challenge
helping
low support and high challenge
criticizing
They misinterpret the actions of others. This tendency is called … and is a common problem among couples
mind reading
first challenging skill?
feedback
T: providing information and your honest reaction to the client.
feedback
what is feedback
providing information and your honest reaction to the client.
second challenging skill
confrontation T
T: he challenging skill that is the art of pointing out inconsistencies and blind spots in the client’s story.
confrontation
what is confrontation
he challenging skill that is the art of pointing out inconsistencies and blind spots in the client’s story.
when do helpers give feedback
Helpers only give feedback when clients ask for it or when clients need information to progress.
3 purposes for giving feedback
To indicate how the client’s behavior affects the helper
- To evaluate a client’s progress toward the goals
- To supply a client with information based on the helper’s observation
why use I messages in feedback
to say this is my perspective
when can you give someone feedback on their personality
Do not give people feedback on their personality traits or something they cannot change.
how do you start a feedback giving
ask permission
how much feedback should be given
1 or 2 at a time
is it worth giving feedback on strengths
yes
how should you see if your feedback was received
a follow up question
T: holes in our view of the world, at least from a physiological viewpoint.
blindspot
T an inconsistency, a mixed message, or a conflict among a client’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
discrepancy
Why Should Discrepancies Be Confronted?
worth through incongruities to bring buried elements into consciousness
“Everybody wants me to stop drinking. But I am not going to give up going with my friends for a beer or two. There is nothing wrong with that.” point out the discrepancy
“Although you often talk about the many problems that alcohol has caused in your life, you just can’t see quitting and distancing yourself from your drinking friends.”
T: we are motivated to keep cognitions such as values, beliefs, and attitudes consistent
cognitive dissonance
There are five elements of a client’s story that can come into conflict
worldview or beliefs previous experiences verbal messages nonverbal behaviour
“It’s been hell. This whole thing. It’s almost funny [laughs]. You know. Sometimes he loves me, sometimes he hates me.”
Incongruity between Verbal and Nonverbal Messages
“I do the best I can. And I am a hard worker. But I am not as smart as my classmates. They are really smart. That bothers me. I am almost finished with my degree but I didn’t sail through like they did.”
Incongruity between Beliefs and Experiences
“Okay, I am confused. You say you are not smart enough and yet you are almost finished with your degree.”
“My son is the most important thing in the world to me. But I just don’t have time to see him every week. I need some recreation, too. If I want to get ahead at work, I have to put in the hours.”
Incongruity between Values and How the Client Behaves
“Sure, my girlfriend and I have been having a lot of problems lately. But if we moved in together, I think things would improve.”
Incongruity between Experiences and Plans
My wife makes twice as much money as I do. It doesn’t bother me. But I always feel that she looks down on me because of it. I should be making a lot more than I do. I often think about starting a new career.
Incongruity between Two Verbal Messages
formula for confrontational message
You (think, value, believe, say, experience, plan, behave, or show nonverbally) but you also (think, value, believe, say, experience, plan, behave, or show nonverbally) .”
2 steps to confrontation
First, take time to understand the issue and listen carefully, making sure the relationship is well established before confronting
2. Present the confrontation in a way that the client will most likely accept it
three common problems in confrontation?
- shrugging off truth
- Responding When the Client Accepts One Part of the Confrontation While Rejecting another part
- The client appears to fully accept the confrontation. Now what?
how to deal with them shrugging off the truth
follow up on the confrontation
how to deal Responding When the Client Accepts One Part of the Confrontation While Rejecting another part
helper is encouraged to focus the discussion on the areas of agreement and press for a resolution of the conflict.
The client appears to fully accept the confrontation. Now what? how to deal
to encourage the client to engage in some activity that helps resolve the two sides of the problem
what are other ways of challenging
relationship immediacy
T a technique that helpers use to give clients here-and-now feedback about their effect on another person—the helper.
relationship immediacy
- teaching the client self- confrontation
- challenging irrational beliefs
- humour as a challenge
e.g. of relationship immediacy statement
1) “I am aware that (2) when I make a suggestion, such as the one just presented, we seem to end up in a struggle and the issue gets dropped. (3) I am a little concerned about this.”
3 elements of relationship immediacy
The helper uses the word I in the statement to indicate that this is the helper’s perspective.
The helper describes the client’s behavior or the helping relationship issue in nonjudgmental terms.
The helper expresses his or her feelings in a way that does not overload or burden the client.
5 general irrational beliefs
shouldering and musting
- awfulizing
- low frustration tolerance
- blaming
- overgeneralizing
4 reasons for blindspots
unawareness
self deception
choosing to stay in the dark
knowing but not caring
