Chapter 4 and 5 Flashcards
4 functions of reflecting?
- verbal way of communicating empathy
- is a form of feedback or a mirror that enables person to confirm or correct an impression
- Reflecting stimulates further exploration of what the client is experiencing
- Reflecting captures important aspects of the client’s message that otherwise might remain camouflaged
what is reflecting
repeating back to the client his or her own thoughts and feelings and implied meanings in a condensed way, using different words and in a manner that communicates nonevaluative, nonjudgmental understanding.
3 components of a clients message?
(1) the client’s understanding of the facts and his or her thoughts (a cognitive level), (2) the client’s underlying feelings (an emotional level), and (3) hidden meanings (an existential level
review figure 4.1
…
what is the first component of message to unpack and how is it done
facts and thoughts :reflecting story content and client thoughts, a skill that is called paraphrasing.
3 types of reflecting skills?
paraphrase
reflection of feeling
reflection of meaning
“So this week has been very difficult, at work and at home.”
paraphrase
“If I understand, an old friend contacted you about getting together (content), and you are not looking forward to it (thoughts).”
paraphrase
“You began looking at yourself as a failure because neither of these two important areas of your life are fulfilling at the moment.”
meaning
After all that had happened, you were wary about continuing your friendship and perhaps you are still angry ).”
feeling
You felt discouraged about your job and sad about the problems at home.”
reflecting feeling
you want to see yourself as a forgiving person, but the fact that you harbor some resentment after all this time makes you doubt this view of yourself.”
meaning
every communication has at least two dimensions: ..
the explicit and the implicit
why is it important to make reflections
the helper gets more information about what has happened and the client’s emotional response to the events
review reflections on page 88
…
2 steps of paraphrasing
(1) listening carefully to the client’s story and then (2) feeding back to the client a condensed, nonjudgmental version of the facts and thoughts.
a miniature version of the client’s story
paraphrase
what’s wrong with questions
Questions, especially closed questions, can interrupt the flow of the client’s story and make the client feel as though he or she is under a microscope.
what determines clients pace of sharing
personal history, previous experiences with helpers, and present emotional condition
T: a way of conceptualizing a normal or average helping session during which you use the most common building blocks
nonjudgmental listening cycle (NLC)
will you use the listening cycle once per session?
no many times
what are the 7 parts of the listening cycle
open questions, minimal encouragers, closed question, paraphrase, refection of feeling, reflection of meaning, summary’
The listening cycle is called nonjudgmental because the helper must demonstrate the attitude of …
positive regard
what is positive regard
the ability to suspend judgment and accept a person regardless of his or her actions
why do asian Americans drop out of therapy
worried about saving face (These may include affirming that self-disclosure is a natural part of the helping process and reframing the client/helper relationship as the exploration of problem solving rather than personal therapy.)
A general guideline for the beginning of the session is to use a sequence of …2 from an initial open question to encouragers to paraphrasing
invitational and reflecting skills
who covers more topics beginners or experienced heplers
beginers= less depth
review figure 4.2
.
what should you use before paraphrasing
opening qs and encouragers
simply list the major points the client has made in exactly the same way that the client said them. This is sometimes called ..
parroting
the biggest distractions come from “…
mental noise.” your own thoughts
biggest source of mental noise ?
worrying about what to say next
you should never ask a client to repeat a statement
f is distracting but getting lost is worst
As the helper, you must be present; when you are thinking about yourself and what you are going to do, your focus shifts away from what the client is saying why is being present important
Certainly being looked at and listened to tells the client that he or she is important in your eyes and conveys an acceptance that transcends words.
“At work, the other women ignore me because I don’t go drinking with them on Friday nights, and they think I am the boss’s favorite. The boss always compliments me on my work. I can’t help it if they don’t work as hard as I do.” respond paraphrase
“So you see yourself as a hard worker, but you think your co-workers may be critical of you because of your dedication.”
ways helpers are judgemental? …
taking clients side or being judgemental of the client
“At work, the other women ignore me because I don’t go drinking with them on Friday nights, and they think I am the boss’s favorite. The boss always compliments me on my work. I can’t help it if they don’t work as hard as I do.” paraphrase
“So you’re saying that your boss appreciates you, but in your mind, your co-workers don’t accept you.” (nonjudgmental paraphrase)
he purpose of a paraphrase is to make sure that you understand the ..2 rather than to supply a solution
facts and the client’s thoughts
should you end a paraphrase with a q
no Generally, when the helper tacks on a question, the client feels obligated to follow it
review quick tips bottom of page 96
.
practice page 99
.
Understanding another person’s emotions helps us better understand the whole person because emotions give a window into …4
motivation, current mental state, behavior, and how he or she views the world
what is EI
the “ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions
This skill of … tells your client that you recognize the emotional background of the story. involves listening and then expressing in one’s own words the emotions stated or implied by the client
reflecting feelings
where are the emotions in ones story
may be hidden in the content of the story or in the nonverbal responses of the client.
what are the benefits of reflecting feelings
awareness of client on their emotions = express feelings
deeper levels of self disclosure
deepen client helper relationship =healing properties of therepudic relationship
relief from emotional pressure = sort out and label feelings sorts out conflicting emotions
Why It Is Difficult to Reflect Feelings
feelings may be hard to hear is that our upbringing, family background, and culture affect the way we express them= helper can only guess
gender
how does gender effect female emotional expression
won’t admit non feminine feelings like anger and confidence
what are the 2 steps in reflecting feelings
identifying feeling(s) putting the emotion into words
best way to identify feeling?
think of yourself as the client, taking into account all the facts and also thinking about what you know about the client’s personality and history
try to think about how you would feel in this situation
f ; instead, become the client and think about how he or she might feel.
Once you have identified the emotion the client is feeling, the next step is …
to put your understanding of the emotion into words. (harder than first step because of accuracy)
Statements that reflect feelings take two forms.
you feel …
it must have been…
After one or two reflections of feeling, a helper may then use a reflection of feelings that connects emotions and content. what is the format for this
“You feel when .” The first blank is a reflection of the client’s feeling. The second blank explains the feeling by paraphrasing the content
“I was floored. I had always thought that they had the perfect marriage.” respond with feeling and paraphrase
“You felt really disappointed when you found out he had apparently gotten over her death so quickly.”
does every reflection have to be connected to a paraphrase
no sometimes just feeling is good
tabel 5.1 has feeling words
..
identify feelings in this: “First, we went to the drugstore; then we went to the grocery. We went to two or three other places and ended up in a bad part of town. All because he wanted this particular kind of candy. I had a lot to do that day. And this wasn’t the first time this kind of thing had happened. He’s a lot of fun most of the time; other times, he is a pain! What can you do?”
Annoyed or irritated when she had to spend so much time on a minor errand
A little angry and rather scared when she ended up in a bad part of town
Somewhat troubled about the relationship when there are both highs and lows, and perhaps hopeless when she says, “What can you do?”
In English, we have at least .. words that describe feelings
3,000
what are the 10 primary emotions
They are joy, sadness, anger, guilt and self-hostility, shame, fear, disgust, contempt, surprise, and interest/excitement. (biological roots)
In addition to the primary emotions, three other categories of emotions are indicated in the table: feelings of …3
weakness, feelings of strength, and feelings of general or nonspecific distress.
should the feelings of weakness, feelings of strength, and feelings of general or nonspecific distress be avoided?
aiming to get more specific but can help you hone in
the emotions are categorized by…
intensity
The more closely you express the exact shade of feeling, the more the client will …
sense that you understand his or her emotional experience
some times you should .. Instead of Struggling to Find The Right Word
.Reflecting Multiple Feelings
when you find yourself confused about what the client is feeling, go ahead and …, and let the client’s response guide you to the exact feeling.
reflect the two or three major feelings you suspect
So how can you help someone if you do not speak his or her language?
try to refer the person to a helper who does speak the language
it is important for the helper to be patient and take the process very slowly, rather than jumping to conclusions about the meaning of the client’s words
why not use a translator?
Translation is sometimes unreliable because certain words just cannot be expressed in another language
is this open or closed? “How did you feel?”
why don’t do this?
closed
client does not feel that you understand—empathy is lost.
can’t pinpoint= conversation stall
It is better to reflect inaccurately than never to reflect at all
t don’t wait 10-15 min
how do you avoid waiting tooo long to reflect a feeling
work first on becoming proficient at identifying feelings.
problems in reflecting feelings?
Asking the Client, “How Did You Feel?”
Waiting Too Long to Reflect
Combining a Reflection and a Question
fucsing on other people
T: it is tempting to add a question after the reflecting statement
compound response
there are four domains that can be a topic of discussion between helper and client
(1) talking about what is going on inside the client (focus here), (2) talking about the helper, (3) talking about the relationship between helper and client, and (4) talking about external factors such as the environment and other people
“I am sick and tired of my sister butting into my life when she knows I need to make my own decisions.” reflect feeling
(Focusing on client through reflection of feeling and content) “So, you are frustrated by her advice and look forward to being able to run your own life.”
Interrupting too soon is a mistake so one should let the client talk without responding
f both are mistakes
how can you avoid letting the client talk too long
give yourself permission to stop clients and make reflections.
“My best friend, Hope, and I are not as close as we used to be. Sometimes I think she just wants to neutralize our relationship. It seems like she has no time for me, like she doesn’t care.” interrupt this
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but let me tell you what I know so far. You resent the fact that you and your friend don’t get together much anymore, but it is too scary to think about bringing it up.”
“You feel you are getting somewhere now,” what’s wrong with this
not a feelingyou have made an accurate paraphrase but it is not a reflection of the feeling
… are often confused as feelings
thoughts
means that the helper has reflected a feeling that is more intense than the one expressed by the client :T
overshooting
reflecting a feeling that is too weak to adequately mirror the client’s emotion.
undershooting
You may also try using … such as a little angry, somewhat angry, or very angry to convey various shades of emotional intensity.
qualifiers
Letting Your Reflecting Statements Go On Too Long what formula should you follow to avoid this
you feel … when ….
The feeling component of the message is often hidden because disclosure of feelings is bound by …3
culture, gender training, and family rules
