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Marriage & Family > Chapter 6 Notes > Flashcards

Chapter 6 Notes Flashcards

0
Q

What can unequal power do to relationships?

A

It affects self-esteem
it inhibits satisfaction,love, and sharing of feelings
it encourages/manipulation/struggle to get or keep power

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1
Q

The ability or potential to impose one’s will on other people- to get them to think, feel or do something they would not ordinarily have done.

A

power

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2
Q

Six Types of Power in a Relationship

-Based of the fear thar your partner will inflict punishment. Emotional/physical

A

coercive

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3
Q

Six Types of Power in a Relationship:

based on the belief that your agreement with your partner will elicit rewards from that partner.
ex. husband picks up after himself in expectation of being praised

A

reward

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4
Q

Six Types of Power in a Relationship:
“You’re the boss in this area”- based on your opinion that your partner has specialized knowledge
ex. wife defers to her husband on financial matters, even though she may actually pay bills.

A

expert

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5
Q

Six Types of Power in a Relationship:

-based on your partner’s having the right to ask you and your having the duty to comply.

A

legitimate

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6
Q

Six Types of Power in a Relationship:

is based on your identifying with and admiring your spouse and receiving satisfaction by pleasing him or her.
ex: wife gets involved in the politics her husband is involved in to learn more about them.

A

referent

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7
Q

Six Types of Power in a Relationship:

  • is persuasive; your are persuade by your partner that what he or she wants is in your best interst.
    ex. going to church-morally good example for the children
A

informational

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8
Q

What is closeness in any intimate relationship?

A

close and cooperative

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9
Q

What is independence in any intimate relationship?

A

personal autonomy (may have disagreement/conflict with that person

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10
Q

the process of interaction that results, when the behavior of one person interferes with the behavior of another

A

conflict

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11
Q

unconscious suppression of feelings of anger, so that they are expressed in other ways

A

repressed anger

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12
Q

saving up, or putting in a imaginary sack, grievances until spills over (overreacting, depression)

A

gunnysacking

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13
Q

the person places emotional reactions other than the real conflict source.

A

displacement

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14
Q

the expression of anger indirectly rather than directly.

ex: sarcasm, nagging, nit pick, or procrastination

A

passive aggression

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15
Q

you either ignore your partner or verbally say that things are all right while sending nonverbal signals that they are not.

A

silent treatment

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16
Q

blaming one particular family member for nearly everything that goes wrong in that family

A

scapegoating

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17
Q

when on partner, perhaps using sarcasm, constantly criticizes or denies the others definition of reality, diminishing the other’s self-esteem

A

gaslighting

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18
Q

the airing of differences that bring partners closer together-builds self-esteem.

  • conflict helps to clarify differences
  • conflict keeps small issues from becoming big ones
  • conflict can improve relationship-enhance self-confidence
A

positive conflict

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19
Q

What are the five most important needs for a women?

A

1) affection
2) conversation
3) honesty and openness
4) financial support
5) family commitment

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20
Q

What are the five most important needs for a men?

A

1) sexual fulfillment
2) recreating companionship
3) physical attraction
4) domestic support
5) admiration

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21
Q

In Household Task, What is the second shift?

A

the house work and child care that employed women do after returning home from their jobs.

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22
Q

In Household Tasks, What is management?

A

who organizes task

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23
Q

In Household Tasks, What is schedules?

A

if something needs to be done who determines its priority.

ex: car repaired, cable installed, etc.

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24
Q

In Household Tasks, What is standards?

A

who determines the standard of equality

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25
Q

Money presents secrecy is?

A

how much do each of your make

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26
Q

Money represents Power is____________

A

one works the other doesn’t

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27
Q

Money represents value systems is________________.

A

one saves the does not

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28
Q

is believing that your partner is supportive and honest

A

Trust

29
Q

is faithfulness to the marriage vows that both partners swore to

A

Fidelity

30
Q

Which person gets to decide what to do is what type of conflict?

A

Power: The Issue of Control

31
Q

Conflict over who take care of whom is what kind of conflict?

A

Nurturance

32
Q

Conflict over aloneness versus interaction is example of what conflict?

A

Privacy

33
Q

Coping with offspring is what type of conflict

A

Children

34
Q

Variation in preferences. Temperaments, and Tastes is an example of what type of conflict?

A

Differences in Style

35
Q

you are assertive and uncooperative viewing conflict as a war in which you force your way in order to win. High concern for self, low concern for others

A

competing

36
Q

you’re unassertive and uncooperative deny there is a problem

A

parallel

37
Q

you are unassertive but cooperative there is a problem

A

accommodating

38
Q

you are some what assertive but you are cooperative. solution may not benefit you both

A

compromising

39
Q

you have a great deal of concern about advancing interest but also those of your partner

A

collaborating

40
Q

What are the five rules of fighting fair and preserving your relationship?

A

1) attack problems, not your partner and avoid negativity
2) focus on specific issues, use “I feel” language and avoid mixed messages
3) be sensitive about timing and place
4) say what you mean, do not lie or manipulate and ask for what you want
5) let your partner know that you’re listening-really listening- and work toward resolution

41
Q

messages sent outside the spoken word.

A

nonverbal communication

42
Q

What are the five kinds of nonverbal communication?

A

1) Interpersonal Space- american culture is 3-4 feet
2) Eye Contact
3) Facial Expressions
4) Body Movement
5) Touch

43
Q

What is the three purposes of eye contact?

A

1) signal the state the purpose
2) can express emotion
3) gazing signifies interest or attention

44
Q

The uses of nonverbal communication:

-It can complement our words____________

A

i love you and hug you

45
Q

The uses of nonverbal communication:

It can contradict our words________.

A

I love you but look away

46
Q

The uses of nonverbal communication:

It can accent our words________.

A

Touching while saying “I love you”

47
Q

The uses of nonverbal communication:

It can repeat our words________.

A

first message, I love you, a little while later you send the 2nd message by squeezing their hand

48
Q

The uses of nonverbal communication:

It can substitute for our words__________.

A

blow a kiss

49
Q

The uses of nonverbal communication:

It can help regulate our communication_______.

A

head nods,shrugging your shoulders, raising your hand to speak

50
Q

seeking closeness is an example of________.

A

For women,Life is Intimacy

51
Q

aimed at gaining rapport or intimacy is an example of________.

A

Women engaged in “Rapport Talk”

52
Q

Women talk about________

A

Leisure activities

members of the opposite sex

53
Q

pressure independence and avoid failure. Establish power and status is an example of_________.

A

For men, Life is a contest-seeking status

54
Q

aimed primarily at conveying information is an example of_______.

A

men engage in “report talk”

55
Q

What men talk about?

A

leisure activities, sports

56
Q

Men’s speech is abstract, authoritative, and dominant_______.

A

they use assertive, forceful, and direct terms. Dominate conversation (longer, and more frequently) and interrupt other speakers

57
Q

an ongoing cycle in which the wife frequently gives negative verbal expression which causes the husband to withdraw

A

The “Female-Demand/Male Withdraw Pattern”

58
Q

People who are always agreeable but act helpless.

ex: whatever makes you happy, dear

A

Placating

59
Q

people who try to put the responsibility for any problem on someone else

A

Blaming

60
Q

People who pretend to be reasonable and not reveal their feelings bc they find emotions threatening

A

computing

61
Q

people avoid disclosing relevant feelings, so they never discuss a problem but instead change the subject

A

distracting

62
Q

expresses that your partner is inferior or undesirable

A

Contempt (eye-rolling)

63
Q

making disapproving judgements or evaluations about your partner

A

criticism

64
Q

not listening but rather defending yourself against a presumed attack.

A

defensiveness

65
Q

refusing to listen to your partner particularly his or her complaints

A

stonewalling

66
Q

is challenging your partner’s power and authority

ex: who dies and elected you God?

A

Belligerence

67
Q

the primary predictor of marital dissatisfaction for wives was the husband’s hostile responsiveness

A

Hostility

68
Q

the predictor of unhappiness for husbands was their wives withdrawl

  • avoidance of intimacy
  • avoidance of conflict
  • angry withdrawal
A

Withdrawal

69
Q

telling another person deep personal information and feelings about yourself

A

self-disclosure

70
Q

consists of being specific, authentic, and transparent about how you feel, especially about matters in your relationship that create conflict or hurt

A

leveling

71
Q

The Guide to Effective Communication is_______

A

1) Create an environment that gives communication high priority and valves others’ view points
2) share power and hopes
3) Be specific, honest, and kind: avoid brutal honesty and tough love
4) Tell your partner what you want in positive terms

Marriage & Family (12 decks)

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