Chapter 6 - Interdependency Flashcards
Interdependency
You need the rewards that they offer, they need the rewards that you offer
Codependency
Unhealthy reliance on partnership
Examples of a “dependent” relationship that is not codependent (2)
taking care of an ill/disabled family member, or parent-child
Characteristics of codependency (2)
-Lower self-concept / self-esteem
-Only viewing yourself in relation to your partner.
Is interdependency dynamic or static?
Dynamic, you can go through periods of codependency that are only temporary
social exchange
2 people provide each other with benefits/rewards that the other wants
Factors of social exchange (3)
-Rewards + costs
-Expectations
-Alternatives
Outcomes = ___ - ____
rewards - costs
Potential outcomes of a relationship (positive and negative) (5)
-abuse
-companionship
-equity/respect
-Living location
-Divison of labour
rewards
gratifying experiences/commodities we get from people.
2 types of rewards
-Impersonal benefits
-Personal intimacies
Impersonal benefits
Anyone could do it (helping you with something, etc.)
Personal intimacies
Specific person can only give it to you (their sense of humor, etc.)
Costs
punishing or undesirable experiences/commodities we get from people.
Comparison Level (CL)
value of outcome that we expect or think we deserve when dealing with others
Where is the CL point on a continuum from misery to joy
Neutral
What level is the “bare minimum” we expect
Comparison Level (CL)
satisfaction or dissatisfaction = ____ - ____
outcomes - comparison level
Comparison level for alternatives (CLalt)
How we would fare if with someone else or alone.
What level is the lowest we would actually tolerate
CLalt
dependence or interdependence = _____ - _____
outcomes - CLalt
being dependent on a relationship means…
Not better to be alone or with someone else (CLalt is lower than CL and outcomes)
being interdependent on relationship means….
could be with others or alone but independently choose to stay
4 relationship types
-Happy and stable
-Unhappy and stable
-Happy but unstable
-Unhappy but stable
A relationship is happy when
Outcomes are better than CL
A relationship is unhappy when
CL is better than current outcomes
A relationship is stable when
Current outcomes are better than CLalt
A relationship is unstable when
CLalt is better than current outcomes
Happy + stable
Current outcomes + CL is higher than CLalt
Unhappy but stable
Comparison level and current outcomes are higher than CLalt
Happy but unstable
CLalt and current outcomes are higher than comparison level
Unhappy + unstable
CL and CLalt are better than current outcomes
Are comparison levels dynamic or static
dynamic
What makes your comparison levels change
outcome experiences overtime
What happens when you take a relationship for granted?
You get used to your outcomes meeting or exceeding your CL, so your CL becomes raised
Factors that can influence expectations in a relationship (3)
-Social Media
-Movies
-Online dating
When it comes to outcome experience, do positive or negative experiences matter more?
Negative experiences matter more
Do rewards and costs ever cancel each other out
No, we are always aware of both and trying to attain rewards while avoiding costs
Approach motivation
Pursuing pleasure
Avoidance motivation
Seek to escape punishment
A relationship is flourishing when
approach and avoidance motivations are fulfilled
How does a flourishing relationship feel?
Safe and secure
A relationship is boring when
Approach motivations are not fulfilled, but avoidance motivations are fulfilled
How does a boring relationship feel?
safe but dull
A relationship is distressed when
Approach is not fulfilled, avoidance is not fulfilled
How does a distressed relationship feel
too many costs and not enough rewards
A relationship is precarious when
Approach is fulfilled, avoidance is not fulfilled
How does a precarious relationship feel
many delights and many dangers
Relational turbulence
As partners spend more time together, they disrupt each other’s routines
What can happen when partners adjust to a new interdependency
A lull in the relationship
When are perceptions of turmoil highest in a relationship
between casual dating and serious involvement
When does increasing interpersonal satisfaction in a relationship experience a slower rate
Right after casual dating, as serious relationship develops
Exchange relationships
People do favours for others and expect to be comparably repaid.
Communal relationships
Partners do things for each other out of concern for the other person’s wellbeing, without expecting anything in return
A relationship is most satisfying when it is
equitable
An equitable relationship
each partner gains benefits that are proportional to their contributions
Equality
Equal benefits regardless of needs/wants
Equity
Modifications that are specific to the goals/needs/wants of both partners
Justice
Removable barriers that prevent equality/equity.
Commitment
desire for a relationship to continue/willingness to maintain it
Characteristics of committed partners (4)
-Expect the relationship to continue
-Are future-oriented
-Are attached
-Tend to be more tolerant of “lulls” in the relationship
