Chapter 10 - Stresses and Strains Flashcards

1
Q

Relational value

A

the degree to which others consider their relationships with us to be valuable and important

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2
Q

Degrees of Acceptance and Rejection (7)

A

-Maximal inclusion
-Active inclusion
-Passive inclusion
-Ambivalence
-Passive exclusion
-Active exclusion
-Maximal exclusion

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3
Q

Maximal inclusion

A

Others seek us out and go out of their way to interact with us.

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4
Q

Active inclusion

A

Others want us and welcome us but do not go to lengths to be with us.

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5
Q

Passive inclusion

A

others allow us to be included

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6
Q

Ambivalence

A

others do not care whether we are included or not

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7
Q

Passive exclusion

A

others ignore us but do not avoid us

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8
Q

Active exclusion

A

Others avoid us, tolerating our presence only when necessary

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9
Q

Maximal exclusion

A

Others banish us, send us away or abandon us

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10
Q

Perceived relational value

A

Our perception (regardless of accuracy) of how others value their relationships to us

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11
Q

Does maximal exclusion feel worse than ambivalence

A

Not by much

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12
Q

Relational devaluation

A

apparent decreases in others’ regard for us

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13
Q

What is an important predictor of how people respond to potent experiences of rejection

A

self-esteem

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14
Q

Ostracism

A

people are given the “cold shoulder” and ignored by those around them.

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15
Q

how do ostracizers justify their actions? (3)

A

-Punish partners
-Avoid confrontation
-Calm down following a conflict

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16
Q

Why is ostracism so painful

A

-Threatens our need to belong
-Damages self-worth
-Reduces perceived control over our interactions

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17
Q

How do people with low self-regard handle ostracism

A

hang around but be spiteful

18
Q

Jealousy feelings (3)

A

hurt, anger and fear

19
Q

How does jealousy lead to hurt

A

perception that our partners do not value us enough to honor their commitments to our relationships

20
Q

How does jealousy lead to anger

A

Being cast aside for someone else leads to anger at both parties

21
Q

How does jealousy lead to fear

A

the dreadful prospect of abandonment and loss

22
Q

Types of jealousy (2)

A

-suspicious jealousy
-reactive jealousy

23
Q

Reactive jealousy

A

when someone becomes aware of an actual threat to a valued relationship

24
Q

Suspicious jealousy

A

when one’s partner hasn’t misbehaved and one’s suspicions do not fit the facts at hand

25
Q

How does a low CLalt affect jealousy

A

Makes you more prone to jealousy

26
Q

Mate poaching

A

behavior that is intended to lure someone away from an existing relationship at least for one night

27
Q

What makes a mate poacher likely to succeed?

A

If they are already our friends

28
Q

How to cope with jealousy

A

separate exclusivity of relationship from our sense of self worth

29
Q

Clinical approaches to treat jealousy (4)

A

-Reduce irrational, catastrophic thinking that exaggerates either the threat
-Enhance the self-esteem
-improve communication skills to prevent jealous misunderstandings
-increase satisfaction and fairness

30
Q

Deception

A

intentional behavior that creates an impression in the recipient that the deceiver knows to be untrue

31
Q

Techniques of deception (3)

A

-Half-truths
-Divert attention
-Conceal info

32
Q

Reasons for lying (4)

A

-ward off embarrassment, guilt or obligation
-Seek approval or material gain
-Protect other’s feelings
-Advance other’s interests

33
Q

Deceiver’s distrust

A

When people lie to others, they often begin to perceive the recipients of the lies as less honest and trustworthy as a result.

34
Q

Truth bias

A

assume that their partners are usually telling the truth

35
Q

Betrayal

A

disagreeable, hurtful actions by people we trusted and from whom we reasonably did not expect such treachery.

36
Q

What can be considered a betrayal

A

any behavior that violates the norms of benevolence, loyalty, respect, and trustworthiness that support intimate relationships

37
Q

Problems with revenge (3)

A

-partners rarely agree on the amount of retribution that’s just, can lead to a cycle of hurtful actions
-Expect revenge to be more satisfying than it is
-people who are prone to vengeance tend to be pretty sour folks who are high in negative emotionality low in agreeableness,

38
Q

Forgiveness

A

Decision to give up your perceived/actual right to get even/hold in debt someone who has wronged you

39
Q

Components of forgiveness (3)

A

-Contrition
-Desire to continue the relationship
-Letting go of anger

40
Q

Contrition

A

meaningful apology and acknowledgement of wrongdoings

41
Q

Forgiveness is usually only effective if

A

There aren’t too many transgressions