Chapter 10: Attraction & Intimacy

Question 1

Factors Leading To Friendship/Attraction

Answer 1

Proximity
Physical attractiveness
Similarity

Question 2

Proximity

Answer 2

Powerful predictor of whether any two people are friends
Students reported greater liking of a person who sat beside them in class 1
Many marry someone who works with them or lives near them
Students reported their closest friends in their building as the ones they lived nearest to
Close functional distance increases liking
Anticipation of interacting increases liking
Mere exposure (familiarity) fosters liking

Question 3

Functional Distance

Answer 3

How often people’s paths cross
Random assigned university roommates more likely to become friends than enemies

Question 4

Mere-Exposure Effect

Answer 4

Being exposed to different novel stimuli boosts people’s ratings of them
More times shown the nonsense word, the higher they liked it later
Familiarity fosters fondness

Question 5

Physical Attractiveness in Infants/Preschoolers

Answer 5

Good looking-baby = moms more affectionate and playful
Less attractive baby = moms focus on other people/things
Attractive are more popular

Question 6

Physical Attractiveness in Adults

Answer 6

Better success in dating
Get paid more
Men rank attractiveness as more important in partner
In speed dating, attractiveness was similarly important to men and women
Women’s physical attractiveness moderately good predictor of how frequently she dates, same with men
When know a person longer, focus less on physical attributes
Matching phenomenon
Physical attractiveness stereotype

Question 7

Matching Phenomenon

Answer 7

People pair with people who are about as attractive as them
People approach others whose attractiveness matches their own more
Couples with similar attractiveness more likely to stay together or fall in love
Less attractive person in relationship often has compensating qualities
Sense of entitlement in more attractive partner
Sense of owing in less attractive partner

Question 8

Physical-Attractiveness Stereotype

Answer 8

What is beautiful is good
Guess that beautiful people are happier, outgoing, intelligent, successful
Media promotes
Attractive people tend to be more relaxed, outgoing, and socially polished (self fulfilling prophecies)

Question 9

Similarity

Answer 9

Likeness begets liking
Mimicry fosters fondness (subtle)
Roommates become better friends when similar
Tend to perceive those we like as more like us
Learning that we are dissimilar from someone decreases liking
Attitude alignment promotes and sustains close relationships

Question 10

Ingratiation

Answer 10

Self serving flattery
Flatter and praise lose appeal

Question 11

Passionate Love

Answer 11

Emotional, exciting, Intense
Love varies in cultures

Question 12

Companionate Love

Answer 12

Enduring relationships settle here for long term
Lower key, deep, affectionate, trust

Question 13

Types of Attachments

Answer 13

Secure
Anxious
Avoidant
Insecure

Question 14

Secure Attachment

Answer 14

Comfortable getting close and trusting others
Better relationships
Less negative emotions and conflict

Question 15

Anxious Attachment

Answer 15

Crave intimacy but fear other’s don’t love them
Fear abandonment
Jealous/difficult during conflict (bring up past, display more negative emotions/behaviour, derogate partner)

Question 16

Avoidant Attachment

Answer 16

Uncomfortable getting close to others
Less invested in relationships
More likely to cheat (low commitment, deep connection scares them, not fully invested)
Less warm and supportive during conflict

Question 17

Insecure Attachment

Answer 17

Combine anxious and avoidant
Cases with extreme trauma or neglect

Question 18

Equity Principle of Attraction

Answer 18

What you and your partner get out of a relationship should be proportional to what you each put in
Equitable relationships more content

Question 19

Self Disclosure

Answer 19

Self disclosure builds closeness and intimacy
We feel good about ourselves when we self disclose

Question 20

Disclosure Reciprocity Effect

Answer 20

Disclosure begets disclosure
I reveal a little, so does other person, gradually increasing

Question 21

Coping with relationship failure methods

Answer 21

Constructive
Loyalty: waiting for conditions to approve (passive)
Voice: seek to improve relationship (active)
Destructive
Neglect: ignore the partner and allow the relationship to deteriorate (passive)
Exit: end the relationship (active)

Question 22

Destiny/Soulmate Belief

Answer 22

If you really love someone, you shouldn’t have to work at it
Relationship problems lead to distancing and no repair efforts
Relationships only last if they are initially satisfied

Question 23

Growth/Work It Out Belief

Answer 23

Problems in relationship lead to active coping, re interpret event in a more positive light, low denial

Question 24

Improving Relationship Strategies

Answer 24

Pursue novel & exciting activities
Capitalization: share positive news and respond positively
Self disclosure
Hang out with other couples
Don’t neglect other relationships

Question 25

Specialization

Answer 25

How you spread out needs across relationships
Low specialization: all needs placed on one partner
High specialization: go to certain people for certain things

Question 26

Gottman’s Four Horsemen

Answer 26

Criticism: of character (vs. complaint behaviour)
Contempt: communicates disgust
Defensiveness: make it your partner’s problem
Stonewalling: tune partner out

Question 27

Risk Regulation Theory

Answer 27

Balancing self protection goals and connection goals
Only applies in context of relationship threat/conflict
HSE
Emphasis on connecting with partner over self protection
Express love and draw closer after conflict
Leads to higher relationship satisfaction
LSE
Emphasis on self protection over connecting with partner
Wait for partner to express love and distance after conflict
Undermines relationship well being
Leads to lower relationship satisfaction