CH 12: Attraction, Intimacy & Love Flashcards
what is intimacy
feelings of closeness and connection that one feels with another
what is passionate love
state of intense longing for union with another
characteristics of passionate love
- “being in love”
- hot/fiery state
- behavioral components (do something to make loved on happy)
- cognitive components (preoccupation with and idealization of the loved one)
- emotional components (longing for reciprocal love)
- feelings of euphoria, increased energy, obsessive thinking about beloved
- unrequited passionate love: despair and anxiety
what is companionate love
affection and tenderness felt for someone with whom one’s life is deeply connected
characteristics of companionate love
- warm state, “cooler” than passionate love
- based on deep friendship, and is comfortable and trusting
Isolating the concept through inclusion:
5 components
1) emotional (feelings)
2) physical
3) cognitive
4) often relational (personal, collective)
5) spiritual (metaphysical)
identifying love through exclusion 2 types of love
familiar (incest taboo– cultural relevance of “love”)
sexual/committed partners
language of love
- Language is the basis of our knowing and understanding and experiencing the world
- The language of love creates our understanding of love
meaning of the passionate love scale
106-135: Extremely passionate
- Time magazine: wildly, recklessly, in love
86-105: passionate
- Time magazine: passionate but less intense
66-85: average
- Time: occasional bursts of passion
45-65: Cool
- Time: Tepid, infrequent, passion
15-44: extremely cool
- Time: the thrill is gone
what are we attracted to?
- opposites do not attract
- mere exposure to someone
- proximity
- homophily
- matching phenomena
one area of brain may prefer dissimilarity
One area in humans may prefer dissimilarity in potential partners, area involves immune system involves MHC (major histocompability complex) – genes used by immune system to distinguish self from non-self factors
- People not related have different MHC genes
- People prefer partners who have MHC genes that are dissimilar to their own
mere-repeated exposure effect
tendency for repeated exposure to a stimulus (e.g. another person) to increase our preference for that stimulus
- Repeated exposure can influence attraction
what does it mean “attracted to homophily”
- Principle that we are more likely to have contact and affiliate with people who are similar to us
- Tend to be attracted to others whose age, level of education, religious views, political views, SES and other characteristics are similar to their own
what is assortative mating
people tend to choose and often marry partners who are similar to themselves
what is matching phenomenon
partners are equal in terms of social and personal characteristics
physical attractiveness
- More likely to emphasize physical attraction and sex appeal when considering a short-term sexual partner
- Research found that physical attractiveness was strongest predictor of undergrad student’s attraction during speed-dating
- Men seem to place more emphasis on opposite-sex physical attractiveness than do women
attraction to faces
- Generally attracted to faces that are “average” and symmetrical
- More feminine faces (e.g. large eyes) generally reported to be more attractive
attraction to bodies
- Women with BMI and waist-to-hip ratios (WHR) at the lower end of the typical range are considered more attractive
- Men with higher WHR and higher rates of muscle, lower levels of body fat generally more attractive
- South American & Africa: prefer women relatively heavy
attracted to reciprocity/uncertainty
- Tend to like people who show signs of liking and being attracted to us (reciprocity)
- “attraction breeds attraction”
- uncertainty increases attraction- women who were told that it was not known how the men had rated them reported the highest level of attraction to the profiled men. Uncertainty may increase attraction because it increases the frequency with which one thinks about another
menstrual cycle effects on attractivness
- women perceive as attractive varies at different stages in menstrual cycle
- when most fertile: women prefer men with more masculine features and symmetrical features, in order to increase their change that their offspring will be healthy and inherit good genes
- low fertility: prefer more feminine male and female faces
attraction-similarity hypothesis
- purchasing power
If you think you are a 10 you get a 10
If you think you are a 1 you get a 1
economy of love
What is the value of love?
What do we expect in return?
When me meet people what small talk questions do we ask? Why?
- Occupation= socioeconomic class
- Location= where do you live? Where are you from?
- Family= what is your background?
duplex theory of love focuses on
structure and development of love
2 components of duplex theory of love
1) triangular theory of love
2) theory of love as a story