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HPRO 4412 > CH 12: Attraction, Intimacy & Love > Flashcards

CH 12: Attraction, Intimacy & Love Flashcards

1
Q

what is intimacy

A

feelings of closeness and connection that one feels with another

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2
Q

what is passionate love

A

state of intense longing for union with another

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3
Q

characteristics of passionate love

A
  • “being in love”
  • hot/fiery state
  • behavioral components (do something to make loved on happy)
  • cognitive components (preoccupation with and idealization of the loved one)
  • emotional components (longing for reciprocal love)
  • feelings of euphoria, increased energy, obsessive thinking about beloved
  • unrequited passionate love: despair and anxiety
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4
Q

what is companionate love

A

affection and tenderness felt for someone with whom one’s life is deeply connected

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5
Q

characteristics of companionate love

A
  • warm state, “cooler” than passionate love

- based on deep friendship, and is comfortable and trusting

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6
Q

Isolating the concept through inclusion:

5 components

A

1) emotional (feelings)
2) physical
3) cognitive
4) often relational (personal, collective)
5) spiritual (metaphysical)

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7
Q

identifying love through exclusion 2 types of love

A

familiar (incest taboo– cultural relevance of “love”)

sexual/committed partners

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8
Q

language of love

A
  • Language is the basis of our knowing and understanding and experiencing the world
  • The language of love creates our understanding of love
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9
Q

meaning of the passionate love scale

A

106-135: Extremely passionate
- Time magazine: wildly, recklessly, in love

86-105: passionate
- Time magazine: passionate but less intense

66-85: average
- Time: occasional bursts of passion

45-65: Cool
- Time: Tepid, infrequent, passion

15-44: extremely cool
- Time: the thrill is gone

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10
Q

what are we attracted to?

A
  • opposites do not attract
  • mere exposure to someone
  • proximity
  • homophily
  • matching phenomena
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11
Q

one area of brain may prefer dissimilarity

A

One area in humans may prefer dissimilarity in potential partners, area involves immune system involves MHC (major histocompability complex) – genes used by immune system to distinguish self from non-self factors

  • People not related have different MHC genes
  • People prefer partners who have MHC genes that are dissimilar to their own
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12
Q

mere-repeated exposure effect

A

tendency for repeated exposure to a stimulus (e.g. another person) to increase our preference for that stimulus

  • Repeated exposure can influence attraction
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13
Q

what does it mean “attracted to homophily”

A
  • Principle that we are more likely to have contact and affiliate with people who are similar to us
  • Tend to be attracted to others whose age, level of education, religious views, political views, SES and other characteristics are similar to their own
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14
Q

what is assortative mating

A

people tend to choose and often marry partners who are similar to themselves

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15
Q

what is matching phenomenon

A

partners are equal in terms of social and personal characteristics

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16
Q

physical attractiveness

A
  • More likely to emphasize physical attraction and sex appeal when considering a short-term sexual partner
  • Research found that physical attractiveness was strongest predictor of undergrad student’s attraction during speed-dating
  • Men seem to place more emphasis on opposite-sex physical attractiveness than do women
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17
Q

attraction to faces

A
  • Generally attracted to faces that are “average” and symmetrical
  • More feminine faces (e.g. large eyes) generally reported to be more attractive
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18
Q

attraction to bodies

A
  • Women with BMI and waist-to-hip ratios (WHR) at the lower end of the typical range are considered more attractive
  • Men with higher WHR and higher rates of muscle, lower levels of body fat generally more attractive
  • South American & Africa: prefer women relatively heavy
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19
Q

attracted to reciprocity/uncertainty

A
  • Tend to like people who show signs of liking and being attracted to us (reciprocity)
  • “attraction breeds attraction”
  • uncertainty increases attraction- women who were told that it was not known how the men had rated them reported the highest level of attraction to the profiled men. Uncertainty may increase attraction because it increases the frequency with which one thinks about another
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20
Q

menstrual cycle effects on attractivness

A
  • women perceive as attractive varies at different stages in menstrual cycle
  • when most fertile: women prefer men with more masculine features and symmetrical features, in order to increase their change that their offspring will be healthy and inherit good genes
  • low fertility: prefer more feminine male and female faces
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21
Q

attraction-similarity hypothesis

- purchasing power

A

If you think you are a 10 you get a 10

If you think you are a 1 you get a 1

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22
Q

economy of love

A

What is the value of love?

What do we expect in return?

When me meet people what small talk questions do we ask? Why?

  • Occupation= socioeconomic class
  • Location= where do you live? Where are you from?
  • Family= what is your background?
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23
Q

duplex theory of love focuses on

A

structure and development of love

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24
Q

2 components of duplex theory of love

A

1) triangular theory of love

2) theory of love as a story

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25
Q

Triangular Theory of Love focuses on

A

sternbergs Triangle

  • focus on structure of love
26
Q

3 components to the triangle theory of love

A

intimacy
passion
commitment

27
Q

intimacy (triangle of love)

A

emotional component

  • Closeness, bonding, mutual understanding, sharing
  • Feelings that lead to warmth in a relationship
28
Q

passion (triangle of love)

A

motivational component

  • Physical attraction, sexual expression
  • Often characterized by drive to be sexual with one’s partner
  • Often earliest component to emerge in romantic relationship
29
Q

commitment (triangle of love)

A

cognitive component

  • Short-term decision to love
  • Long-term decision to maintain relationship
30
Q

Liking (triangle of love)

A

Intimacy

  • friendship, feelings we have for those with hum we experience closeness and warmth
  • Does not involve passion or commitment
31
Q

infatuated love

triangle of love

A

Passion

love at first sight, tends to involve signs of physical arousal (e.g. fast heartbeat)

32
Q

Empty love

triangle of love

A

Decision/Commitment

  • characterize either long term relationships in which intimacy and physical attraction have faced or the start of arranged marriages in which one may commit to love but does not feel close or physically attracted
33
Q

romantic love

triangle of love

A

Passion + Intimacy

  • characteristics of the passionate, intimate relationships commonly presented in popular media and literature
34
Q

companionate love

triangle of love

A

Intimacy + Commitment

often based on deep friendships and involves both intimacy and commitment

35
Q

fatuous love

triangle of love

A

Passion + Commitment

generally occurs in relationships in which people meet and marry or commit very quickly—high risk for divorce

36
Q

consummate love

Triangle of love

A

(MIDDLE OF TRIANGLE)
Intimacy + Passion + Commitment

  • complete love, often what people endeavor for in romantic relationships, may be difficult to maintain once reached
37
Q

non-love

A

represents most of our casual interactions with others

38
Q

love as a story

A

Love story: a story about what love should be like

  • When we fall in love, it is because you meet someone who fits your love story
  • Contains characters, a plot, and a theme
  • Strive to fulfill stories, and relationships are most satisfying when partners stores are closely matched
39
Q

3 examples of love stories

A
  • War Story—constant fighting, 2 warriors
  • Love is a Mystery—ambiguous, mysterious, a partner that you can never really know
  • House and Home—home is the centre of the relationship
40
Q

6 major ways of loving (love styles)

A

1) Eros: romantic, erotic and passionate love
2) Storge: based on friendship and compatibility
3) Ludus: game-playign love, does not involve commitment
4) Pragma: practical love, involves rational decision making
5) Mania: dependent, possessive, obsessional love
6) Agape: altruistic love, characterized by giving rather than receiving

41
Q

Two-Component Theory of Love used to explain

A

passionate love

42
Q

Two-Component Theory of Love

A

1) A state of intense physiological arousal, followed by:

2) Application of a label “love” to that sensation

43
Q

risk of “misattribution of arousal”

Two-Component Theory of Love

A

physiological arousal from other stimuli is attributed to feelings of love (e.g. fear and love)

44
Q

attraction

brain stimulation

A
  • Brain is stimulated by norepinephrine and PEA
  • Natural stimulant produces feelings of elation and euphoria—can’t eat or sleep
  • Body build up a tolerance—may lead to “fixing” on love
  • Provides motivation to enter into a romantic relationship
  • Reason to engage in sexual intercourse
45
Q

Viewing pic of romantic partner is associated with

A

increased activity in dopamine-rich reward and motivation systems of the brain (e.g. caudate nucleus) and decreased activity in brain regiosn involed in social judgement and emotions (fear/grief) – e.g. amygdala

46
Q

attachment

brain stimulation

A
  • Brain is stimulated by endorphins, which act as natural tranquilizers
  • Produce sense of security, tranquility and calm
47
Q

oxytocin and attachment

A

produced during cuddling and physical intimacy—is associated with orgasm and sexual satisfaction

48
Q

attachment theory

A

states that out formation of our relationships in adulthood is shaped by our early experiences and attachment to caregivers in childhood

49
Q

4 components of attachment theory

A

secure style
preoccupied style
fearful style
dismissing style

50
Q

secure style

Attachment theory

A

associated with positive views of both the self and others: people have high self-esteem, and are able to form and maintain close intimate relationships without difficulty

51
Q

preoccupied style

attachment theory

A

characterized by negative view of the self and a positive view of others- individuals feel unworthy, dependent on other people for approval, may be demanding in their relationship

52
Q

fearful style

attachment theory

A
  • negative view of both the self and others- low self worth, desire intimacy but actively avoid with others in fear of being rejected
53
Q

dismissing style

Attachment theory

A

positive view of self and negative view of others- self-reliant, perceive intimacy with others as unimportant

54
Q

what is a pick-up line

A

verbal statement made by someone in order to initiate a romantic encounter

55
Q

3 types of pick-up lines

A
  • Cute-flippant (your place or mine)—less preferred by women
  • Innocuous (what do you think of the music)
  • Direct (can I buy you lunch?)
56
Q

who says “i love you” first

A

Expressions of love have historically been gendered to fit masculine/feminine roles defined by culture

57
Q

definition of intimacy

A
  • Openness, honesty, mutual self-disclosure
  • “the level of commitment and positive affective, cognitive and physical closeness one experiences with a partner in a reciprocal (although not necessarily symmetrical) relationship”.
  • Focus on personal or relational characteristics
58
Q

intimacy is measured by (5)

A
  • Self-disclosure
  • listening
  • understanding
  • confiding
  • feeling close
59
Q

what is jealously

A

A negative emotional response to potential or actual rejection from a partner or to loss of a relationship due to a rival

60
Q

what is infidelity

A

engaging in sexual and/or emotional relations with someone who is not one’s primary partner when in a monogamous relationship

61
Q

what is cybersex

A

sexual activity that takes place via the internet

62
Q

what is netiquette

A

rules outlining acceptable and unacceptable internet activities

HPRO 4412 (8 decks)

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