Betty, Vera and Sandra

Question 1

Betty sits down next to Vera
Where’s Sandra, Bett?

Answer 1

Going out. I’ve told her; Sandra, I said, if you’ve got a boyfriend why don’t you bring him home. She didn’t say a word. (Pause.)There must be someone, though. There must be someone who she’s getting all these new ideas from.

Question 2

What new ideas, Betty? Sandra enters
Oh, er, hello Aunty Vee.

Answer 2

I’m just tellin’ your Aunty Vee some of the things you’ve been comin’ out with lately.

Question 3

Sandra
(with a sigh)What about?

Answer 3

A licence to rob people of their hard earned money – that’s what she said Christmas was, Vera.

Question 4

But people have got to have their bit of pleasure, Sandra.

Answer 4

She’s even been going on about packing in the office an’ going back to school.

Question 5

Vera
But y’ can’t go back to school when y’ nineteen, Sandra. They won’t let y’ in.
Sandra
Not a school. A college. Like a student.
Vera
Oh God, Betty, ’ y’ know that peepin’ Tom – well they
reckon he’s a student, y’ know. He’s up an’ down the back of Parkhill Road every night y’ know, an’ all’s he wears is a pair of gold-rimmed glasses an’ a big scarf round his neck.

Answer 5

At this time of year.

Question 6

(nodding)Yeah – I know. Tommy said all we need is a bit more frost and his thingy might drop off with the cold. (She shrieks with laughter.)

Answer 6

His thingy – Vera?

Question 7

Yeah – y’ know, his ding-a-ling …

Answer 7

(tortured)Vera … Vera! (She draws attention to Sandra’s presence.)

Question 8

Vera
(her hand going to her mouth in apology)Oh.
Sandra
It’s all right, Mother. I do know about the existence of the penis.

Answer 8

(in instant recoil; loudly)Sandra!

Don’t be so filthy. I think this discussion’s got quite out of hand.

Question 9

Mother, the …

Answer 9

Sandra … I don’t want to know. I’ve got make-up to put on. I hope that
when I come back down I won’t hear any more of that sort of talk.
Betty makes her escape, going upstairs.