Act 2: Scene 7 Flashcards
Brooke: okay, bye.
Thank you emmett.
Judge: uh- ms woods? Any day now… You may proceed.
Call your first witness.
We call chutney Wyndham to the stand.
Pilar: total tragic perm.
Miss Wyndham, what was your relationship to the deceased?
Chutney: he was my father.
Did you actually see his murder take place?
Chutney: don’t listen to him, Elle. You’re fine. Go ahead.
Miss Wyndham… On the day your father was killed, did you see anyone suspicious hanging around?
Chutney: suspiciously hanging around my shower?
No before that.
Chutney: I was out getting a perm.
And then you came home and took a shower?
Chutney: yes. I was in the shower.
Lightbulb moment**
Your honour, I would like to go to the bathroom.
Judge: shouldn’t you have gone before the murder trial?
No, your honor, I would like us all to go to the bathroom together.
Warner: why do girls always do that?
I mean, I’d like everyone to go back to the bathroom where this alleged shower took place.
Mid song:
Enid… Paulette… Can you do this for me?
Judge: HUSH
Now would the court stenographer please read that back?
CS: “ohmigod we talk, it’s the scene of the-“
No. Before that.
CS: witness:” yes I was in the shower”
Thankyou. Now, miss Wyndham, you claim on the day of the murder you go a perm. Was this your first perm?
Chutney: no. I’ve permed my hair since junior high, about three a year.
Interesting. My associate has just gotten a perm herself today. Exhibit B: Ms Enid Hoopes.
Thankyou ms Buonofonte.
Now ms Wyndham. Would exhibit B’s perm be similar to your own?
Chutney: Duh
And now, one more time, you didn’t see the murder or hear the gunshot because you were where?…
ALL: IN THE SHOWER!!!!
Thankyou. Ms. Hoopes, would you step into the shower, please?
Chutney: idiot. You can’t get a perm wet for 48 hours-
Exactly! Water deactivates the perm’s ammonium thiglycolate and completely ruins it. It’s the cardinal rule of perm maintenance. Your perm is still intact so you couldn’t have showered that day. Why would you lie about being in the shower?
Chutney: I was-
Why would you lie about not hearing the gunshot?
Chutney: but I-
Why would you-
Chutney: …… I THOUGHT IT WAS BROOKE COMING THROUGH THE DOOR.
Ohmigod.
Warner: Elle… To think I didn’t take you seriously. I was wrong.
Thanks, Warner.
Warner: we do belong together. You showed me who we can be together again.
*** goes down on one knee.
Oh Warner. Vivienne dumped you, didn’t she?
