9. Relationships Flashcards
how have rates and ages of marriage changed?
- of people who have never been married, 88% are young (18-24), but 10% are old (65+)
- proportion of unmarried individuals decrease as we age
- nowadays, people get married at an older age
- more financial hardship, more post-secondary education, especially with women
- women tend to marry men who have the same level of education or higher
- as more women attend post-secondary, the men they marry become more limited
how do sociocultural factors influence the rates of marriage throughout history?
- larger number of men got married before the war, made them less likely to have to enlist
- less marriages during the war as men were gone
- larger number of divorces after the war
what does it mean if a couple is living apart together (LAT)?
- people who are in an intimate relationship but don’t want to share a residence
- chosen because of independence and protection from difficult emotional experiences
what is the equity theory of marital satisfaction?
- satisfaction and stability is based on equity between partners
- feeling under-benefitted leads to sense of exploitation
- feeling over-benefitted leads to sense of guilt/shame
- they seek to get as much out of the relationship as they put into it
- partners will constantly try to adjust their efforts to match each other’s contribution to the relationship according to principles of fairness
what is the similarity hypothesis of marital satisfaction?
- proposes that similarity of personality and values predicts both initial interpersonal attraction and satisfaction within long‐term relationships
- even if one partner only SEES the other as similar to them, they are usually more in love
what is the need for complementarity hypothesis of marital satisfaction?
- proposes that people seek and are more satisfied with marital partners who are the opposite of themselves
- people who are more introverted, for example, might prefer partners whose extraversion helps alleviate discomfort in social situations
what is the behaviour theory of marital satisfaction?
- actual behaviours that partners engage in with each other during marital interactions matter most
- positive rewarding behaviours? or negative behaviours/emotions?
what is the social exchange theory of marital satisfaction?
- comparing a relationship’s rewards to the barriers to leaving and benefits of alternatives to that relationship
- weighing the pros and cons of the relationship
- cohabitors were more likely than married partners to end a relationship in which the partners only rarely engaged in sex
- less cons because less difficulty separating while not being legally married
what is the socioemotional selectivity theory?
- as couples become increasingly aware of the limited time they have left together, they become more satisfied with their long‐term partners
- positive sentiment override - older adults are more likely to keep sight of the positive aspects of their relationships even when they have disagreements
what is the suffocation model of marriage?
- proposes that the higher a couple attempts to move up the hierarchy of needs, the more frustrated they will become with the quality of their relationship
- there are three different pathways
1. enduring dynamics pathway
2. emergent distress pathway
3. disillusionment pathway - both the emergent distress and disillusionment models assume that couples start out as hopeful and optimistic that their relationship will work out
- most supported pathway is the enduring dynamics pathway
what is the enduring dynamics pathway in the suffocation model of marriage?
- the way a couple interacts early in their relationship will characterize the course of the relationship over time
- either get along well with each other and resolve conflict easily, or they don’t
what is the emergent distress pathway in the suffocation model of marriage?
- relationship problems develop over time as they find that they are unable to cope with the inevitable arguments that occur when people live together
- instead of communicating properly, they become defensive, withdraw, stonewall
what is the disillusionment pathway in the suffocation model of marriage?
- couple starts out happy and in love but gradually fall out of love and begin to develop mixed feelings
- couples start to take each other for granted and are less interested in seeking each other’s love
what two features differentiate happy and unhappy couples?
- positive expressions of affection and love
- negative behaviours of being critical, angry, and impatient towards the partner
how does stability and satisfaction in marriages change as we get older?
- in general, marriages become more stable but less satisfying over time
- unstable marriages are marked by dissatisfaction, but…
- dissatisfaction does not strongly predict instability
how are same-sex couples different in terms of conflict and likelihood for dissolution?
- both women and men in same‐sex couples experience less strain on a daily basis
- higher rates of dissolution among female–female couples than different‐sex married couples
- people who believe that they are the targets of discrimination are more likely to experience depression
how does homogamy influence marriage stability and satisfaction? how about for biracial couples?
- homogamy between spouses leads to more satisfaction and stability
- similarity in religion, cultural/ethnic background, race, and age leads to more satisfaction and stability
- in biracial couples, the gender of the person who is a minority affects their relationship stability and satisfaction
- if the male is the racial minority, there are more problems
- this is because men are usually the ones in the position of power, so being the minority can affect the couple negatively
how does personality influence marriage stability and satisfaction (big 5)?
-
neuroticism - lower is better, may depend on the stage of marriage
- more important at the beginning of the relationship because we increase in emotional stability as we age
-
openness - lower is better, unless both people are high in openness
- people high in openness are more likely to cheat, have more interests and hobbies
- agreeableness - higher is better
- conscientiousness - higher is better, also increases with age
how did income influence marriage stability and satisfaction before, and how does it influence satisfaction and stability now?
- early research suggested that women being employed led to less satisfaction and less stability
- huge increase in dual-earner families over past 40 years
- greater satisfaction among couples who identify a co-providing relationship
- more equal distribution of housework leads to higher satisfaction
how does sexual satisfaction influence marriage stability and satisfaction?
- sexual satisfaction → marital satisfaction → marital stability
- coincides with the social exchange theory (counts as a reward) and behaviour theories (positive behaviour)
how does premarital cohabitation influence marriage stability and satisfaction?
- greater risk of divorce for those cohabitating prior to marriage if “serial cohabitation” had occurred
- if one person had lived with multiple people at different times before
how do previous marriages influence marriage stability and satisfaction?
- is especially important if one person has had kids with another person
- families are usually under much more stress
what are some negative aspects of communication amongst couples?
- negative affect
- denial
- dominance
- conflict
- withdrawal
- negative escalation
what are some positive aspects of communication amongst couples?
- positive affect
- problem solving skills
- support/validation
- constructive communication
how do communication patterns predict future outcomes of marriages?
- pre-marital/newlywed communication patterns were predictive of subsequent outcomes
- decreases in negative patterns over time predict less distress in couples
- negative communication patterns are predictive of dissatisfaction & divorce, but positive patterns don’t predict anything
how do marriages affect the spouses health?
- well-being of one affects the other
- cognition of one affects the other
- health of one affects the other
- couples spend lots of time together, usually have similar health habits
how does the personality of our spouse impact our health?
- high conscientiousness and low neuroticism is the most beneficial combination for a spouse
- conscientiousness has compensatory effects
- husbands’ high N & C combination compensates for wives’ health, but not the other way around
how do collaborative efforts of spouses influence performance?
- collaborating spouses outperformed collaborators who had not known each other before
- participants with lower digit symbol scores generally performed worse in the collaborative task
- collaborating with the spouse buffered the impact on performance
- no significant differences between age groups
how does happiness of one spouse relate to the happiness of the other?
- spouses report relatively similar levels of happiness
- happiness waxes and wanes in relation to the respective partner
- age, education, presence of children, and relationship duration predict levels of happiness
how do fertility rates differ in developed vs. developing countries?
- fertility has always been lower in high-income countries compared to less developed regions
- fertility rates are declining worldwide, went from an average of 3 children to 1.7 in high-income
- went from 6 children to 2.62 in less developed regions
what are some reasons for declines in fertility in developed countries?
- personal choice
- changes in social acceptability of being child-free
- infertility rates increasing - partly because women are waiting longer to have kids
- finances - the more money you make, the more you spend on your child
- societal factors
what is the transition to parenthood?
- the period of adjustment to the new family status represented by the presence of a child in the home
- biological - changes to the mother
- psychological - emotions and identity changes
- social - changes to status and expectations
what are some new challenges in the transition to parenthood?
- coping with crying
- demands of feeding, specifically breast feeding
- disturbed sleep
- health concerns of the child
- less time for free time or leisure or time for the couple
how does the transition to parenthood affect the marital relationship?
- have found a small but reliable decrease in marital satisfaction across the transition to parenthood
- non-parent comparison groups also show declines in marital satisfaction controlling for duration of marriage
- on average, first time parents experience a greater and more sudden decline in marital satisfaction than non-parents
are negative changes associated with marriages and new children inevitable?
- negative impact of the transition to parenthood is not uniform or inevitable
- 10-13% of couples report severe, accelerated declines in marital satisfaction
- 34-38% report moderate, steady, declines
- 30-35% report no changes
- 19-21% report moderate increases in their relationship
are negative changes associated with marriages and new children permanent?
- 8-year longitudinal study following couples 4 year prior to, and after the birth of their first child found…
- small but noticeable declines in relationship function
- declines persist over the 4 years
- declines more pronounced for women
- more children = further decreases in marital satisfaction
what are the most important factors in predicting the outcome of the transition to parenthood on a marriage?
- adaptive processes
- personal and situational factors
how do adaptive processes predict impact of transition to parenthood on marriage?
- increased conflict issues and frequency, usually due to…
- division of household labour (injustice and imbalance)
- barriers to leisure time activities and intimacy
- marital (conflict) interactions, usually due to…
- more passive avoidance
- less constructive conflict resolution
- wives more sensitive to husbands’ positive and negative behaviours
- husbands support is crucial
- can buffer distress
- can increase distress via impact on wife’s self-esteem
how do personal and situational factors predict impact of transition to parenthood on marriage?
-
gender and (violated) expectations
- women expect more egalitarian split of labour after childbirth
- women expecting a baby with easier temperament
- women expecting to enjoy motherhood more
- men expect less parental enjoyment, less competency, and more difficult infant temperament
-
child’s characteristics
- baby girls result in greater marital satisfaction
- fussiness and unpredictability of infant results in greater dissatisfaction
-
work factors
- husbands working overtime leads to conflict
- career focused women more dissatisfied when on longer maternity leaves
what is “doing gender” and when does it come in play>
- the tendency of women and men to behave in stereotypically gendered ways
- related to the way family roles shift after the birth of the first child
- but, the gap between men and women in household work participation rate has narrowed
how does the relationship between gay/lesbian couples change after having a child?
- similar levels of decline in satisfaction to heterosexual couples who adopt a child
- lesbian couples that conceived through donor insemination and gay couples having a child through surrogate mother report…
- less leisure time together
- less satisfaction, intimacy, romance
- increased conflict
- separation in 1/3 of couples (similar to heterosexual)
what are some benefits of having and raising children?
- children add affection, improve family ties, and give parents a feeling of immortality and sense of accomplishment
- strengthens family bonds
- expands social networks
- greatly increases personal growth
- fulfills an expected adult role in society
- they may eventually care for their parents
how has the one child law and filial obligation affected the Chinese population?
- less children to take care of parents as they age
- old people outnumber the young people
- less common to see intergenerational households
- Chinese law introduced to force children to visit their parents
- China changed their policy to allow more children and encouraged parents to have 3
what is filial obligation?
- cultural value in which adult children are expected to care for their parents
- including having them live in their home
- more likely in African-American, hispanic, and asian families
what is filial piety?
implies a set of behaviours and attitudes that indicate feelings of love, respect and care towards one’s parents and also include expectations of obedience and compliant
how does perceived family and friend support impact chinese and american elderly?
- both chinese and american elders have the same amount of perceived family and friend support
- relationship between family support and loneliness and depression was stronger for chinese elderly
- relationship between friend support and loneliness and depression was stronger for american elderly
- positive relationship between family support and self-esteem was stronger for the american elderly
- less in china because the family support and self esteem is expected
how do some parents react to having an empty nest?
- some parents become depressed when children leave the home
- tied to a time that women’s identity and lives were connected to taking care of children
- marital satisfaction increases when children leave the home (more leisure time together)
- many parents regard their children leaving as a mark of success in preparing them in adulthood
what are boomerang children?
- children who come back home after moving away once
- effect depends on the child
what is the widowhood effect?
- there is a greater probability of death in those who have become widowed compared to those who are married
- factors include depression, psychosocial stress, chronic economic hardship, and loss of social support and environmental resources
- widows experience feelings of depression and also anxiety (30%)
- negative mental health outcomes are more pronounced when the death is not anticipated
how does widowhood differ for men vs. women?
for people 65+, about 33% of women will be widowed versus about 10% of men
what is a skip-generation family? where is this most prevalent?
- when children live with their grandparents and not their parents
- First Nations groups are vastly overrepresented in skip‐generation households
- In 2016, 1.8% of Aboriginal children age 0 to 4 were living in skip‐generation family, in contrast to 0.3 of non‐Aboriginal children
what are the five types of grandparents?
- formal
- fun-seeker
- surrogate parent
- reservoir of family wisdom
- distant figure
what is dyadic withdrawal?
the process of reducing the individual friendships of the couple and increasing the joint friendships
