5. Attraction and intimacy Flashcards
Factors affecting friendship and attraction
- Proximity
- Physical attraction
- Similarity
- Feeling liked
Proximity principle
Proximity (being around someone) strongly predicts liking.
Interaction and anticipation of interaction
Proximity - mere exposure
Exposure begets liking because as something becomes more familiar, we are less suspicious or afraid of it. Exposure reduces stereotyping because we see individual traits and distinctiveness more. Evolutionary.
Proximity in the digital age
In our digital age, proximity has expanded from physical/geographical proximity to mean functional distance (frequency of interaction). Had to redefine proximity.
Proximity example
Sharing a dormitory increased the volume of emails sent between undergraduates by two times, living on the same floor by another two times and sharing a room by a further three times.
Biological basis for physical attraction
Neurologically programmed to respond positively to physical beauty. More likely to look at faces we find attractive.
Physical-attractiveness stereotype
The tendency to believe that beautiful is good. Not totally a stereotype as they live up to the positive feedback they are given.
Physical attraction
▪ First impressions based on physical appearance.
▪ Benefits can wane quickly if reality doesn’t meet expectations.
▪ Too attractive can be less relatable.
Advertisers rely on this.
Evolutionary concept of physical attraction
Evolutionary idea that women need beauty and men need financial stability.
Study that put out fake profiles of a woman. Same profile picture for both. One presented as financially independent, successful, and ambitious. The other as lovely, very attractive, and slim. Financially independent got 2x the responses. Sceptical of the research as financially independent described in a more normal way.
Physical attraction and social desirability
The tendency of people to respond in a way that will be viewed positively by others, especially the researcher.
Social desirability example
Asked college students if they were equally attracted to able bodied and disabled people. Said they were. IAT - indicates that people actually prefer people who aren’t disabled (automatic response). Constructed response kicks in and can be different.
Matching phenomenon
The tendency for people to choose partners with roughly equivalent social attributes.
Matching phenomenon example
Study on 400 newlyweds. Strong - age, religiosity, political views. Moderate - education, verbal intelligence. Weak - personality, emotionality, attachment style.
Similarity
Similarity -> liking
Dissimilarity -> dislike
Humans naturally assume that people will like us and so when others don’t like us we don’t like it and produces more dislike.
Marriage and similarity
People seem slightly more prone to like and to marry those whose needs and personalities are similar.
Attitude alignment
Some complementarity may evolve as a relationship progresses (even a relationship between identical twins). Become even more similar when together. Harmonise in our attitudes.
Self-esteem and attraction
Low self-esteem individuals tend to underestimate how much their partner appreciates them, have less generous views of their partner, and feel less happy with the relationship.
Gaining another’s esteem
The most powerful determinant of interpersonal attraction is an indication that one is liked; and the best liked person is often the one who comments begin negatively but become increasingly positively.
Evaluative conditioning
How we can come to like or dislike something through an association with something we already like or dislike. The majority of likes and dislikes are learned. We like those we associate with good feelings. Conditioning creates positive feelings towards things and people linked with other stimuli we already regard as pleasant, positive, or beautiful.
Theory of attraction
We like those who reward us and those we associate with rewards.
Theory of attraction and the four factors
- Proximity - rewarding because it costs less time and effort to maintain relationships with people with whom you interact with often.
- Attraction - rewarding because we assume attractive people have other good qualities and we will benefit by association.
- Similarity - rewarded because we assume people who are like us will like us, and they validate our views.
- Feeling liked - rewarding because we like to be liked and love to be loved.
Robert Sternberg’s (1988) three basic components of love
Commitment
Intimacy
Passion
Commitment
Involves a conscious decision to stick with one another. The decision to remain committed is mainly determined by the level of satisfaction that a partner derives from the relationship.
