WHO Doing What Matters During Stress Flashcards
When do we use grounding?
sometimes thoughts/feelings are very painful-overpowering-emotional storms
we then use grounding - get down from the tree - much safer on the ground
How do we ground?
slow down, connect with your body
slow and full breathing
slowly press feet into the floor
slowly stretch arms or slowly press hands together
then 54321
Notice how you are feeling
slow down, connect with body
slowly breathe out, stretch, push feet on the floor
refocus on the world around you
pay attention to what you can see, hear, touch, smell and taste
it should take about 30 seconds
you can do it anytime, anywhere
What does grounding do?
it keeps you safe until the emotional storm passes
some storms last long, some pass quickly
What does grounding not do?
grounding doesn’t make the storm disappear
What is the purpose of grounding?
the purpose is not to get rid of feelings
the purpose of unhooking and grounding is to help you engage in life
and to help you move towards your values - to behave more like the person you want to be
and help you focus on what you are doing so you can do it well
What are very painful or overwhelming thoughts/feelings like?
emotional storms
What are emotional storms?
sometimes thoughts/feelings are very painful-overpowering
What does learning grounding require?
it requires practice
the more you practice the better it gets
it’s like building muscles
practice throughout the day, at every chance you get
it can help to make a plan
like when and where, how many times you will practice
When can you practice grounding?
you can do it anytime, anywhere
What do difficult thoughts and feelings do?
they pull us away from our values
when we get hooked our behaviour changes.
we often start doing things that make our lives worse.
What hooks us?
difficult thoughts and feelings
What pulls us away from our values?
being hooked by difficult thoughts and feelings
What happens when we get hooked?
we get pulled away from our values
our behaviour changes.
we often start doing things that make our lives worse.
we disengage and get distracted
How do we unhook?
we unhook by refocusing and engaging in what we are doing
What happens when you engage and focus?
It helps you to move towards your values - to behave more like the person you want to be
and helps you focus on what you are doing so you can do it well
you may find it more satisfying
even the activities that are boring/frustrating
What to do when a thought/feeling hooks you again?
when you realise this
refocus
if thoughts and feelings hook you 1000 times
you unhook yourself 1000 times
When can you practice unhooking?
Anytime, anywhere
How do we tend to move away from our values?
fights/arguments/disagreements
withdrawal from people we love
or lying in bed
What do we tend to do when we get hooked?
(include the behaviors)
We tend to move away from our values
fights/arguments/disagreements
withdrawal from people we love
or lying in bed
Will difficult thoughts and feelings go away?
it makes sense that you would want them to go away
but is it realistic to think we can simply get rid of them?
think of all the ways you have tried to get rid of these thoughts and feelings
yelling, trying not to think, avoiding people/places/situations, isolating yourself, giving up, staying in bed, alcohol, drugs, arguments, blaming/criticising self
What are some of the ways you have tried to get rid of your thoughts/feelings?
yelling, trying not to think, avoiding people/places/situations, isolating yourself, giving up, staying in bed, alcohol, drugs, arguments, blaming/criticising self
What happens when we try to get rid of thoughts/feelings?
our life usually gets worse
What’s a new way of handling difficult thoughts and feelings?
instead of trying to push them away
stop struggling with them
and when you get hooked
unhook yourself again
What are some of the thoughts that hook you?
I will never find anyone.
I will fail, I will not be able to get success.
I will never be able to make enough money.
Where do you notice the feelings that hook you?
Chest, head, near eyebrows
What are the first two steps in unhooking?
Notice and Name
here is a thought/feeling
here is a tightness in my chest
here is a painful memory
here are fears about the future
here is a difficult thought about the past
here is anger
add I notice
I notice here is a thought/feeling