When Wishes Come True

Question 1

Hmmm… ugly as heck but I can still sell these… oh, actually I could use you in the kitchen… come on Chapel Thrift Shop, your mystery boxes are usually better than this! Cough up the good stuff!

Answer 1

Not another one of those junk boxes! How much are you paying for those things?

Question 2

not a lot

Answer 2

we’re trying to save up for a camper here, and you’re what? paying 10, 20 bucks for a bunch of junk we don’t need?

Question 3

It’s my money, and I resell most of it, I’m even running a little profit.

Answer 3

You’d be better off getting a second job, add to the crap pay you get down at the bar

Question 4

Yeah, you might have mentioned that once or twice.

Answer 4

Maybe if you at least wore something sexy the tips would be better

Question 5

Maybe you should be ashamed of trying to pimp out your wife!

Answer 5

I really didn’t need this after the day I’ve had. Any coffee left?…. How do you expect me to concentrate when you’re breathing down my neck?

Question 6

Come on, I wished for something really good, not an old lady necklace…
(She unwraps the next bundle and inside is a
roll of cash. She gasps, and quickly hides
it)

Answer 6

what are you going on about now?

Question 7

Thought I was unwrapping a nice old depression ware plate, but turns out it’s all
chipped.

Answer 7

yeah, old stuff’s like that. crusty, dull, used up. fat

Question 8

i wish you wouldn’t talk to me like that!

Answer 8

I’m so sorry sweetheart, you’re as beautiful as the day I married you

Question 9

what?

Answer 9

I.. I don’t know why I said that

Question 10

is it true, you know, what you said?

Answer 10

um, well, i mean, you’re a lot older, but you’re not too bad looking. for someone your age and all. if that’s what a guy is looking for… do we have anything sweet to go with the coffee?

Question 11

I wish, you ate all the donuts. Even the chocolate one I bought for myself.

Answer 11

a man’s gotta eat. and you shouldn’t be leaving empty donut boxes on the counter like that, this place is a pigsty

Question 12

[drops box]

Answer 12

what the hell

Question 13

The box was empty! I swear to God, it was empty this morning!

Answer 13

you’re losing it maggs

Question 14

No, no… I specifically remember it being empty because I was so mad at you. I buy one donut for myself, and eleven for you, but you just take and take whatever you
want and never think about me— that maybe I like donuts once in a while too, but don’t scarf them all down in one day. You know I like to save mine for a little treat.

Answer 14

then eat the ones you just wasted, I’m not eating off that filthy floor

Question 15

But… how… like how did they get here?

Answer 15

you dropped them!

Question 16

I mean how did more donuts get in the box? You ate all of them yesterday. You
remember eating them, right?

Answer 16

yeah. so you must have made another trip to dunkin

Question 17

i didn’t – I didn’t!

Answer 17

obviously you – don’t go raising your voice to me

Question 18

Did you… you’re not doing that thing they talk about on Tiktok are you? You know, like gaslighting me, making me think I’m going crazy?

Answer 18

that’s what’s probably scrambling p your brain, watching those stupid videos all day

Question 19

But what else could be going on? I mean, I wished that you’d stop being so mean to
me and suddenly you’re saying something nice, and I wished all the donuts weren’t
gone and suddenly there’s donuts, and I wished I’d find something good in my thrift
box and…

Answer 19

and what?

Question 20

nothing

Answer 20

if gaslighting is pretending someone’s crazy, what’s it called when they’re actually crazy? Because here’s what I’m thinking–

Question 21

i wish brandon could talk again

Answer 21

what money?

Question 22

I wish Brandon forgot I ever said anything about finding money…

Answer 22

What kind of crack are you on? A necklace granting you wishes?

Question 23

It’s true, I swear. How do you explain not being able to speak?

Answer 23

Something was caught in my throat, happens all the time.

Question 24

I put it on, and suddenly everything I wish for comes true!

Answer 24

I’m not kidding here, I think maybe you’re getting a little sick in the head. With
those sisters of yours, it’s not really surprising…

Question 25

Well, let’s test it out then.

Answer 25

Sure. I wish you didn’t have all that cellulite…Okay, let’s check out your thighs there…

Question 26

It doesn’t work without the necklace!

Answer 26

Okay, while you’re diddling around in fairyland here, I’m gonna check out some work texts.

Question 27

I wish you’d finally tell me what’s really going on.

Answer 27

They’re from Sally. Down at the shop. We’ve been banging each other for two years. I’m thinking of leaving you.

Question 28

What?

Answer 28

I… what the hell? Did you put something in my coffee? Like truth serum?

Question 29

Where exactly would I buy truth serum? Down at Walmart? You… you… you awful, cheating, lying, disgusting—

Answer 29

It’s not true! I swear, I was trying to say something completely different and that just came out of my mouth.

Question 30

I’m telling you, it was the necklace… she has powers…

Answer 30

Let’s maybe do a real test if you’re so convinced. Take it off and wish for something.

Question 31

I… I wish there would be a beautiful rainbow right outside the window…

Answer 31

That’s a dumb wish! Wish for like a million dollars!

Question 32

Nope. No rainbow. I sure love rainbows…

Answer 32

Now try with the necklace on, but try the same wish so it’s like an accurate test and all.

Question 33

I wish there was a rainbow right outside our window! Oh! It’s there! That’s the most beautiful rainbow I’ve ever seen!

Answer 33

Wow!

Question 34

It’s amazing, isn’t it? Like suddenly the world is full of possibilities…like maybe there really is a positive, life-giving force in the universe… a place where dreams can
come true…

Answer 34

Whatever. But the important thing is, it worked! Maggie, it really worked!

Question 35

Yeah. Think about all the good we can do with that kind of power…

Answer 35

Sure. Now give it to me.

Question 36

What?

Answer 36

For safekeeping like.

Question 37

Um… I don’t think so. It’s mine.

Answer 37

Who makes all the important decisions around here?

Question 38

It might not even work for you…

Answer 38

Don’t make me ask twice.

Question 39

That’s not fair Brandon!

Answer 39

If I have to take it from you, one of us will get hurt and it won’t be me.