Come Back Right Flashcards

1
Q

Any second, any second…come on…yes!
Sit up. Easy, easy.
Fight the rigor mortis. Trust the elasticity.
It’s real. You’re real. You’re alive!

A

Where am I?

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
2
Q

You’re back. I know it’s kind of shocking. I’ll give you a sec.

A

I feel… why do I feel like this?

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
3
Q

Take a few deep breaths. Your body’s been through a lot.

A

I’m dizzy.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
4
Q

Are you thirsty? I can get you some water. Or tea? I might have coffee. Or…hmm, you
know what? To be safe, let’s stick to water for now. There’s a—

A

My stomach feels— (doubles over, grabbing her gut,
then recovers)

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
5
Q

Whoa, whoa. You’re alright. I’ve got you. I thought we were about to have an Alien
moment there for a second. You know—

A

No, not Alien.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
6
Q

Hopefully not The Exorcist, right? You know, blagrgggghhhhhhhh. But if you think you might, I can grab a bowl, or…

A

I was thinking Night of the Living Dead.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
7
Q

Ha! Clever. Because you were dead, and now you’re living? And it is night. Well, evening.

A

Must be about dinnertime, right? I’m famished. (A beat, then THE BODY strikes.)

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
8
Q

Sit up. Easy, easy.
Fight the rigor mortis. Trust the elasticity.
It’s real. You’re real. You’re alive!

A

Where am I?

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
9
Q

You’re back. I know it’s kind of shocking. I’ll give you a sec.

A

Like hell, you’ll “give me a sec!” I can’t fucking believe this.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
10
Q

What?

A

“What?” Really?! You are so fucking presumptuous.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
11
Q

I’m sorry. Did I—?

A

You’re sorry? You are always doing shit like this.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
12
Q

I am always bringing you back from the dead?

A

You don’t think. I swear, you’re the smartest imbecile I’ve ever met. This is so—

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
13
Q

What?

A

It’s just really gay. Like, stereotypically, the gayest.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
14
Q

You’re mad because it’s…

A

Actually, no. Considering bringing your girlfriend back from the dead is gay. Actually doing it is completely fucking homophobic. You realize you just ruined my entire life because you didn’t want to be alone? You’re a selfish asshole. Period.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
15
Q

I ruined your—? I gave you back your entire life!

A

Great. Now, how about you give me a social security number, huh? Oh, wait. You can’t. Because I was dead, and you were presumptuous, and now I’m legally a non-entity.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
16
Q

There’s got to be a form. Some kind of government form.

A

Right. The “accidentally declared dead” form. The “just kidding about the funeral” form. The “my girlfriend was so preoccupied with whether or not she could…” form.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
17
Q

You’re just grumpy. You just woke up. Let’s get you a bite to eat, and then—

A

You have to kill me.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
18
Q

I think I have a granola bar in my bag. How about let’s do that instead?

A

You messed up. It happens. Own up to it. Come on.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
19
Q

I’m not going to smother you. And I won’t watch you die just because you woke up and decided it’s the only solution. Can we think about this? Give it another five minutes?

A

We’ve both seen this movie, sweetheart. We’ve seen all the movies. You know that if you
don’t do it, I’ll do it.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
20
Q

Don’t do this right now.

A

I will do it. You know I will.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
21
Q

I love you. Loved you? I don’t—

A

Oh. yeah? Prove it.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
22
Q

I did. I thought I did.

A

So, you were wrong. Now fix it. Nobody has to know.

23
Q

It is real. You’re real. You’re alive!

A

Hey! Wow! Cool!

24
Q

I did good, huh?

A

You sure did! I always wanted to be alive again!

25
Q

And everything feels okay?

A

Everything feels just great! Look!

26
Q

Great!

A

Great!

27
Q

Super great!

A

Super duper great and awesome!

28
Q

You’re so cute. And, God, I am so relieved. I worried, you know? I worried that I made a mistake. Or I did the wrong thing, or—I guess it was silly. I mean, what was I supposed to
do? Just let you die?

A

No mistake. I think you’re amazing.

29
Q

You’re sure? You’re not mad at me? I know you said—or, well, wrote…

A

I’m sure.

30
Q

I really missed you.

A

Hey, what’s your name?

31
Q

What?

A

Are you a doctor? Or a good guy or a bad guy?

32
Q

I—no. What’s—what’s your name?

A

Little Bobby Jenkins. Guess what! I was hit by a car in 1982!

33
Q

Hey, uh, Bobby?

A

Yeah, miss?

34
Q

Can you do me a favor and hand me that pillow there, little buddy?

A

You mean this one?

35
Q

You’re real. You’re alive!

A

GET ME OUT GET ME OUT PLEASE I WANT TO GO BACK IT HURTS PLEASE I TOLD YOU NOT TO I TOLD YOU I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE PLEASE PLEASE

36
Q

You’re alive!

A

(incoherent mumbling)

37
Q

Sorry, what was that?

A

Have you ever heard of cordyceps?

38
Q

The fungus? Sure.

A

What about toxoplasmosis gondii?

39
Q

That parasite that infects mice and makes it so they aren’t afraid of cats?

A

And surely you’ve heard of cuckoo birds. Their cheeky proclivity for stealing nests.

40
Q

You’re not acting like yourself.

A

Oh, aren’t I?

41
Q

Could you please…. state your first and last name… for the record? It’s, um. It’s procedure.

A

I have many names. Those are some. There are more.

42
Q

Pardon?

A

I am the positive space between positive spaces. I am the bitter ghost lurking within every machine. I am the whispered refrain of the chemicals that make your neurons dance. I am the insatiable hunger, the deadly urge, and the whisper that tells you to pick up the knife. I am the god of the unattended vessel. And, darling? You’ve been negligent. (THE BODY contorts. It opens its mouth too wide.
A horrific eldritch sound emerges.

43
Q

I’m sorry. I’m not making sense. I’m all alone here. I—
She took a lot of pills.

(It goes dark. A distant siren. Then, silence.
The scene resets.
This time, THE RESURRECTOR is in the bed.

A

Hey. You okay? You were getting kinda screamy-thrashy there for a sec.

44
Q

It was just…monsters. Zombies. Lack of control. Normal, dumb nightmare stuff.

A

Did all your teeth fall out? I feel like every time I have a nightmare, all my teeth fall out.

45
Q

Not this time, but you can inspect them for me if you want.

A

Seems like everything’s accounted for. You woke up perfect, as always.

46
Q

Mmhmm. As always. Hey, did you take your meds tonight?

A

Why?

47
Q

Just humor me?

A

Have I ever not taken my meds? I set two alarms a day, every day. I’m on top of it.

48
Q

And you have a ride to therapy Wednesday? I’m supposed to work, but if you need me, my friend said she could

A

I’m good.

49
Q

And you haven’t been feeling—

A

I’m good. I promise I’ll tell you if I’m ever not good, okay? No scary secrets, right? Isn’t that our one super sexy relationship rule?

50
Q

No. You’re right. I trust you, I just—I’m sorry.

A

I’m not her, okay?

51
Q

It wasn’t her fault. She was—

A

I know, but I can only speak for me, and I’m not going anywhere. Do you want me to hang out for a bit and scratch your back?

52
Q

I don’t want to bug you.

A

You can’t bug me. Why don’t you come sit with me in the other room until you feel better? I’ve been watching one of your bonkers movies. I paused it literally a second before somebody got their face eaten off. It’s about to be blood-splatter-city.

53
Q

No, no. I’m fine. Go finish your movie. I’ll try to go back to sleep.

A

Sure thing, lady. Sleep tight, okay? Love you.