Welcome to Our Exorcism

Question 1

No, no, it’s perfectly fine. I didn’t mean to, uh, it’s just been a little, uh–

Answer 1

BANISH ALL INTERLOPERS FROM THIS PLACE!

Question 2

Is Maggie okay?

Answer 2

I WILL FEED YOU TO THE TWO-HEADED DOG THAT KNEELS BY MY SIDE. THE BEAST IS FAMISHED!

Question 3

Can we not do this in front of the Goldens, please?

ROB
You’re the one that–

Answer 3

[enter and bark]

Question 4

Are we doing the barking thing in public now? I thought that was, uh, you
know, just something for us?

Answer 4

You reek of naivete. I will impale you upon the sharpest object I can find.

Question 5

Good for you, Maggie! Rob is too naive. I tell him that all the time.

Answer 5

Who allowed these intruders into my domicile?

Question 6

Maggie, your parents were saying that you’re not feeling well?

Answer 6

I feel incredible. The power of the Dark Lord is flowing through me.

Question 7

Maggie is possessed?

Answer 7

Took you long enough, fool.

Question 8

Besides, we have everything under control.

Answer 8

I ate all the tropical fish.

Question 9

We never liked those fish anyway.

Answer 9

I also ate my Aunt Candice.

Question 10

She was old. It was for the best.

Answer 10

I opened up a portal to Hell in the laundry room.

Question 11

Now that did irritate me, because I had a load of whites in at the time.

Answer 11

I’ll feast on all your bones before I’m done.

Question 12

It was so romantic. He left the priesthood for me.

Answer 12

And that’s why you’re going to burn.

Question 13

The power of Christ, young lady.

Answer 13

I don’t even feel it.

Question 14

I don’t know. I would just–really like to go out to the car for a few minutes.

Answer 14

Do you fear me, Jane?

Question 15

Hahahahahaha no.

Answer 15

Your father was disappointed in you.

Question 16

No, she’s probably right. My father was very disappointed in me. Haha tell me
something I don’t know, Maggie.

Answer 16

He hated Tom.

Question 17

WeeWah didn’t like most people.

Answer 17

WeeWah’s living in the Inferno now.

Question 18

The power of Christ, Maggie.

Answer 18

Suck an egg, John.

Question 19

Can’t we tie her to one of the beds upstairs?

Answer 19

Rob would like that, wouldn’t you, Rob?

Question 20

I don’t know! Baptize her or something!

Answer 20

Baptize me in goat’s blood, Mother!

Question 21

She’s not your girlfriend, Rob. She’s an evil force that’s using your girlfriend’s
body as a vessel.

Answer 21

Rob knows all about using my body as a vessel, don’t you, Rob?

Question 22

Jane, we should try being useful.

Answer 22

You should try licking the pus off my palm wounds.